2005-09-16

Almost getting "got"

First let me just say I love the lesbians, the gays, and anything else in which I can put the word "the" in front of to discuss whole groups of people. Friday night I went to Oak Lawn, a famaously gay area of Dallas with some co-workers and we did cruisin' the crossroads, in we got into clubs with no cover and drink specials. Perfect right? We first went to JRs. I was there absorbing the gay atmosphere and taking a blueberry jello shot from a syringe that came from god knows where, all was calm and peaceful. We then head over to Sue Ellen's in which me and the other straight girls from work formed a "straight girl dancing corner" to dance to "Brass Monkey" as freely as we wanted to. Our gay guide decided to stay at the bar and drink, which was a really bad thing now looking back, and as we all know hindsight is 20/20.

Things become scary as we head over to Station 4 aka S4. S4 being predominantly male and gay, I really didn't think there was a need for a straight girl corner, I mean we could have danced to the techno all night and watched men in bicycle short voguing all night long. It was a great place for people watching. I personally was fixated on the short young Asian man dancing shirtless with the tall old balding white man with a pot belly. Especially when they were kissing and the geriatric white man was dangling his little gay Asian from the floor. Well I digress. As we decide to dance the best way us girls know how, our drunk gay guide approaches and comes from behind me grabs my face and to tries to kiss me. I like a punk sissy scream and run, she then follows me to the bar and in drunk talk explains she is going to kiss me, I again scream. At this point I am sober, and even if I was drunk, would I want to be kissing 40 year old co-workers who are girls? Let me answer that for you: No, hell no. She then says I am joking to eradicate all level of discomfort.

We finally head over to Throckmorton Mining Company and decide at this point the night is over, the music has gotten annoying and that those sweaty topless men dancing aren't so cute anymore. We decide to call it a night, our gay guide had the infinite wisdom to come sans car, so that her significant other could pick her up. We ask her to call her woman so we can go ahead and head out once her girl arrives to pick her up. She decides she wants to dance some more, and doesn't need to go home and we should leave without her. Nothing says safe like drunk woman at 12:30 sitting on the curb, dancing all by herself. We then steal her phone and call her woman for her. She then becomes upset and tells me I didn't talk to her woman, I just got the message machine and she isn't coming. I inform her, I did indeed speak to her woman and tell her she is on her way. Of course her woman comes about 20 minutes later and we pour the lesbian drunk into the passenger side and then we all head home. Before we leave our drunk gay guide decides to give everyone a hug and a kiss on the cheek except me since I don't like it. May I note here I don't mind a peck on the cheek, I do mind people trying to smooch me on the lips and utilizing drunk tongue, if she tried to kiss me on the cheek, it would be one thing, but to come at me from behind and I am off guard, not so cool.

On Saturday I decide my 29 year old ass is way too old to go clubbing, and I wake up with a headache and tired as hell.

On Monday our gay guide decides she remembers nothing of Friday night. Not one thing.

On Tuesday, she remembers trying to kiss me, but she was just joking, there was a smile on her face after all.

Thursday she becomes angry white woman trying to understand why blacks don't just get over slavery.