2005-09-18

More gay topics

I have a friend that I sometimes get an email from who I once dated. He is a really good guy, he was a cutie (at least the last time I saw him, which was before I even met my husband), and we had a lot of things in common (books, music, being nerds), but we didn't work out because I discovered he liked guys (yeah I googled him and found a personal ad about being bi curious), and I am all about having things in common, but I didn't want to share my interest in boys with boys I dated. Needless to say the dating relationship ended and we became friends. We send an occasional email, usually about music, and how suburban our lives have become.

One early morning like this one, I googled him. I do random googling of people quite often. I googled his real name and his screenname (the one I know about anyway), and again he shows up on some gay website being curious and looking. I once asked him about it right when I cut things off (personal ads while dating someone is just a turn off, gay or straight, just FYI), and he told me he was doing an experiment. I just thought he was bi or curious, either or, I need a man, and I have one that isn't even the slight bit curious about gay people. Girls don't want boys who experiment. It is just safer that way.

I don't want to be on Oprah talking about Down Low Brothers in two years and sobbing uncontrollably about me not knowing he was gay, especially if they signs point that way. Anyway , the good thing is I met my husband shortly after and I don't have to worry about that kind of thing. We don't have a lot in common, but dammit that might be a good thing.

I still like him as a person, I just wish he was more forthright with his gayness, things would be easier for him, if he just came out of the closet.