2006-08-20

Miscarriage

I think I am having a miscarriage. I was spotting really light all last week and last night I had bright red blood when I went to the bathroom (I know this is graphic, but there is no delicate way to say that). It didn't fill up a pad, but it might as well have. I was so upset I cried pretty much all night last night. I haven't slept well, but the bleeding has stopped. I was suppossed to have my 8 week sonogram to hear the heartbeat and actually see the baby tomorrow, but I don't think that will happen. Instead I will call ahead and see if they want me to come in or just let the baby spontaneously abort naturally . I don't want to see an empty sac tomorrow, that will literally kill me. The worst part is I still have the symptoms of pregnancy: Nauesea, headaches, sore, swollen breasts. I hate it, I hate that I am disappointing my husband, my family, and friends. My husband was so happy when we found out. I have been so happy these past month or so and now it is being taken away, and now I just feel empty. I will hold just a glimmer of hope because I quit spotting that there is still a chance the baby is ok, but damn it hurts so much because I wanted this baby so bad.