2006-08-22

The past three days

Sunday I posted that I was miscarrying. I did. The past three days have been pure hell, confusion, and sadness. Sunday after lunch, my cervix was completely dilated and I was hemorrhaging non stop. I went ahead and went and for 6 hours there I sat on a ER table and did the same thing until I passed what was my baby. They made me so angry, they took my baby from all the blood and blood clots and just put my baby in a jar to take to a damn lab. Like it was just some kind of tissue sample. I am still not taking that well at all. They let me out of ER 8 hours later, and on Monday I went to the OBGYN, where obviously all the waiting room was pregnant or had a healthy baby. That made me angry. Apparently she found I was still dilated and ordered a D&C. So at 9:00 Monday night I had "day surgery" I left the hospital at 12 and took the day off from work today since I am suppossed to be on bedrest. I talked to my manager who was really nice and told me to take my time. Needless to say I am numb, I feel empty, and I want to stop hurting physically and emotionally. It hurts so bad to know I don't have my baby anymore.