My Boobs Hurt!!!

I just had to make that announcement you all needed to know. My titties hurt. My breasts are swollen and hurt, with a bra, without a bra. This is to go on for nine months. I don't know if I can do it. I got up out of bed to go to the bathroom, and I swear my boobs feel as if they are ten pounds a piece and hurt like all get out.

On a side note, I made the mistake of watching Birth Day on Discovery Health. I saw a head come out of a woman's twat. I realized at that moment I was going to do that, and I don't think I can. I am keeping the baby in me for as long as possible, I can't have a big old giant head come out of my little twat, I just can't. Please for the love of God can they knock me out or something. That show did convince me I wanted an epidural.

Per the Chinese Calendar, my child will be a girl. Let's see what the Dr. finds out :)


Planned Parenthood

Last Saturday, on a whim I decided to take a pregnancy test. I only did it because my period was all weird, and was not the normal super duper pain cramping period I always have. I took the test and immediately we got the plus. You know the plus that tells you you're pregnant. I am in shock, so I take the other test that came in the two test package. (Yes I buy prenancy tests in bulk) Again another positive result. I call in my husband who shakes his head in disbelief, and then walks around with a shit eating grin on his face the rest of the day. To make sure these two tests are not freaks of nature, we take two more tests, this time different brands to ensure we didn't get some freak pregnancy tests the first time. They are still positive.

Still being in disbelief I am pregnant, we decide to slum it and go to Planned Parenthood. Get a pregnancy test, get STD treatment, get an abortion, Planned Parenthood is a one stop shop. Planned Parenthood itself is a great concept, but in reality most people who go there do not plan their pregnancies, abd ironically my husband was the only male presence in there while there were tons of I am assuming young, single females getting tested for God knows what. I take another test there and dammit it says I am pregnant too. I am 5.3 weeks pregnant as of last monday. The poor Planned Parenthood woman wasn't used to normal people coming in and she asked me did I need Medicaid for my prenatal care. I informed her no, not at this time, and left, knowing for sure I know how to read pregnancy tests now.

Apparently Planned Parenthood has a stigma. When I told my friend I went to Planned Parenthood to confirm my pregnancy,she asked me don't they tell people to get abortions? I told her firmly no, I was not offered an abortion, and that I would not partake in one at this time. I digress.

At this point in my life I assumed I was infertile, we stopped using birth control over two years ago, I was getting ready to get my masters. I have just started a new job. I have been there all of seven weeks, I am already 5 weeks, now 6 weeks pregnant. I can't wait to tell them so they can fire me so they don't have to worry about my disability claim or paying insurance. Yay. I am excited and scared all at the same time, I feel I am so young to have a child, even though my old ass is 30 and should have probably had at least five kids by now.

I also want to note that less than a week before I had been drinking like a lush and playing laser tag. That would make me mother of the year at this point right? I guess I should call CPS on myself at this point.


4 out of 4 tests agree

Siditty is pregnant. Me, siditty, pregnant. I will go to the doctor to confirm it but it seems me and the hubby are pregnant, and I made the mistake of telling my mother who is trying to run my pregnancy via phone. I have no idea what I need to eat, or do, or even how to be a parent. This is so crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please CPS don't take my child(ren) away!!!