In Honor of Lost: Rose and Bernard

They are stuck on an island with "The Others", but they got each other. Now let's hope and pray Jin doesn't get killed off because Daniel Dae Kim got arrested.


Why Are Blacks Hated The World Over?

In posting the article about "Canadian" being the code word for black, I started to wonder. Why does it seem every single race or ethnicity has a word that is used with a negative connotation to refer to black people?

Why are we so hated? How long has this hate persisted? I understand in the U.S. we had a history of slavery, that can explain the race issues that affect us even to this day. But what about other ethnicities? The Jewish, Turks, Indians, Hispanics, and even Asians(To celebrate Black History Month, Kenneth Eng Posted an article titled "Why I hate Black People", and the paper actually posted this article, why would they do that)? Heck per Soila even Ethiopians and Somalians? Why do they look upon being black as bad? Is there is strong history between the Jewish people and black people? I know there is a large Indian population in South Africa, but what is the issue there? What shared history do we have with other ethnicities that make them dislike us? Why are we considered the bottom of the totem pole world over?

Like it was asked in the comments of the other post. What is so repulsive about being black? What is disgusting about it? What is wrong with being black?

Most people will say they don't hate or dislike black people, but there are examples of these same people in the world every day who do things that prove otherwise. My mother used to always tell me that sometimes she think outlawing segregation was a mistake, not because segregation was great, but it was obvious where you stood in the eyes of white people. They weren't ashamed of their hatred, they showed it to you, and you knew to stay away. They didn't pretend to like you and talk about you behind your back or in whispers. In her eyes it made life easier.


Don't call me Canadian, Dammit!!!!!

Wow I never knew I was a Canadian. Seriously I have never heard of this. I guess it was coming, I know black people have code words for white folks, but I didn't know it happened the other way around???? I got this link from Negrophile.
In the U.S. south, is Canadian a new racial slur?
Graeme Hamilton,
National Post
Published: Thursday, January 24, 2008

It was a routine e-mail from the boss sent to congratulate a junior prosecutor in Houston, Tex., who had won manslaughter convictions against an intoxicated driver."He convicted Mr. Sosa of a double intoxication manslaughter, got a weak jury to give him 12 years in each, and then convinced Judge Wallace to stack the sentences," Harris County assistant district attorney Mike Trent wrote in an office-wide memo. Then came the odd part: "He overcame a subversively good defence by Matt Hennessey that had some Canadians on the jury feeling sorry for the defendant and forced them to do the right thing."The e-mail was sent in 2003 but came to light only this month as part of an unrelated controversy with his office, forcing Mr. Trent to defend himself against accusations of bigotry -- not because he offended the people of Canada, but because "Canadian" has apparently become a code word for blacks among American racists."There is a double meaning to that word and I didn't know it. I was horrified when I learned what it was, and I immediately addressed the issue with the people who brought it up," Mr. Trent told a local Fox News reporter in a recent interview."I'd never heard of Canadian being used as a term for a black person or for a racial slur," he said."If I had, I would never send that out in an office-wide e-mail that's going to go to people who are going to be offended if they recognize it as such. That would be crazy.... I'm not a racist. I'm not a bigot," Mr. Trent said.Mark Vinson, who was a chief prosecutor in the Harris County office at the time, said he was puzzled by the reference to Canadians when he got the e-mail but was too busy to give it much thought. Then some colleagues informed him about the slang meaning of Canadian, and he felt crushed."So much has been accomplished in terms of equal opportunities, and the office had a super reputation," Mr. Vinson, who is black, told the National Post. "I just couldn't imagine someone in the office who would engage in that conduct." He said he believes Mr. Trent's assurance that he had simply repeated a term used by the prosecutor on the case, Rob Freyer. Mr. Freyer did not return a message left yesterday."I know Mike. We laugh and talk about the [Dallas] Cowboys," Mr. Vinson said. "I truly don't believe that Mike knew what he was saying."It is unusual that a seasoned attorney like Mr. Trent would not have wondered how a Harris County jury came to be stacked with Canadians. (There were no Canadians on the jury but there were some black members.) "The only way that there could have been Canadians on the jury, was if they were born in Canada and then became U.S. citizens, and then became citizens of the county in which the case was tried," Mr. Vinson noted.Mr. Trent told Fox News that was not out of the question. "It would not be impossible or unusual for people from other countries to be on our juries," he said. "That's what I was told, and I took it as the literal meaning."The bigger mystery is how "Canadian" came to be code for black. An online directory of racial slurs defines Canadian as a "masked replacement" for black. Last August, a blogger in Cincinnati going by the name CincyBlurg reported that a black friend from the southeastern U.S. had recently discovered that she was being called a Canadian. "She told me a story of when she was working in a shop in the South and she overheard some of her customers complaining that they were always waited on by a Canadian at that place. She didn't understand what they were talking about and assumed they must be talking about someone else," the blogger wrote."After this happened several times with different patrons, she mentioned it to one of her co-workers. He told her that ‘Canadian' was the new derogatory term that racist Southerners were using to describe persons they would have previously referred to [with the N-word.]"A similar case in Kansas City was reported last year on a Listserv, or electronic mailing list, used by linguistics experts. A University of Kansas linguist said that a waitress friend reported that "fellow workers used to use a name for inner-city families that were known to not leave a tip: Canadians. ‘Hey, we have a table of Canadians.... They're all yours.' "Stefan Dollinger, a postdoctoral fellow in linguistics at University of British Columbia and director of the university's Canadian English lab, speculated that the slur reflects a sense of Canadians as the other. "This ‘code' word, is the replacement of a no-longer tolerated label for one outsider group, with, from the U.S. view, another outsider group: Canadians. It could have been terms for Mexicans, Latinos etc. but this would have been too obvious," he said. "What's left? Right, the guys to the north."


Black Hair and IR Relationships

OK I am hitting on the touchy subject of black hair. As you know I am natural. I have been for pretty much the duration of my relationship. But I have an admission. I was addicted to the ceramic hot iron. I couldn't get away from the straight look. I would spend two hours once a week straightening my hair. Once it was straight it would stay straight. No water touched that hair until the next washing. No humidity. No running your fingers through it or messing it up. I wrap it up at night. I know that satin bonnet looked sexy as hell to my husband. The hair has been a pretty minute issue in our relationship, but it has come up. If you want to take a shower together, it better be on wash day so messing up my hair is not done in vain. I am running to and from the building on rainy and humid days. I can't be outside all day. I can't be sweating at the gym, I have to glisten and then make sure my hair wasn't exposed to said glisten. Again no getting carried away and playing in my hair.

I think that white guys don't think about the time spent to make black hair straight. It is a lot of effort. So when they ask you things like if you want to go swimming or if they can play in your hair, they don't understand why you look at them so crazy. Or when you looked at him crazy because on the way to the mall, restaurant, etc. it started raining and you were not trying to get our hair messed up by walking casually into said place. My husband didn't know about the black hair issues. He was innocent as all get out when he saw me put in my last relaxer and asked "Why do you put that stuff in your hair?" Understanding the concept of relaxer, but not fully understanding the concept. He once asked me could my hair grow. When I met him my hair was much shorter. I started growing my hair to show him my hair could grow. Now he has decided he likes longer hair so I have been encouraged not to cut it, but keep it at its current length. He still likes it when I get a wild hair up my ass and straighten it. But he likes it curly too. I think he likes a curly a little bit better because it is less maintenance for me and less time. He likes the braid outs too, but doesn't like the day I go around the house looking like Celie from The Color Purple the day before I do the braid out.

I am natural now. One really cool thing about being natural is I can get my wet. My husband can touch and play in my hair because now a little shea butter and spritz and I am good. I can work stuff out with a little product and not look too crazy.


Husband Love

I've been complaining about my husband a lot. Now I need to give him some love. My husband and I are complete opposites. He is tall I am short. He is white. I am black. He likes Wendy's and likes the basics. I like Indian and Thai food and I am willing to try anything once. We have different taste in music, clothing, everything. But we have been together eight, almost nine years.

We are together because he works very hard at our relationship. He is the one to say sorry first because he knows I hate saying sorry, and that I know everything. He was the man that two months into our relationship added me to his insurance and moved me into his apartment because he was worried about where I was living. He was the one who recently held me while I cried my heart out when my grandmother died. He was there for me when I had my miscarriage. He isthe one who has understood and is willing to accept the fact that my brother might be living with us one day, and even though he isn't close to his family, he understands my close relationship with my family. He is the one currently making the plans for Valentines Day. If I am in a bad mood, he is the one who blames himself and does everything in his power to make me happy. When I was depressed about my job a few years back he was the one who told me to quit and find something that would make me happy. He was the one who supported me emotionally and financially with school. Simply put he is there for me. He loves me, makes me laugh, and he treats me better than any guy before him ever did.

Yeah he is not perfect, but no one is, and he truly loves me, he is also uber cute. He is the one person who keeps me grounded in this world. Otherwise I would still be trying to find myself so to speak in the most asinine ways. Like for instance right now he is trying to talk me out of trying out for Roller Derby. I just want to fight people for no apparent reason. He is more concerned about me getting hurt. See that is love right there.

Messenger Bags Are Purses For Pack Rats

I know I look crazy, but yes I prefer messenger bags to purses. They are so much cooler, and I can fit EVERY THING in them. Seriously. I can fit books, my cell phone, PSP, PSP games, and miscellaneous stuff I find along the way in this bag. I can't give it up!!!!! I switch from purse to purse and always go back to the messenger bag, and when push comes to shove I can put a sleeve on my laptop and put it in there and still have room.

I tell myself this to make me feel better for being a mobile pack rat and looking like a bag lady carrying all her worldly possessions around with her.

Insomnia Ramblings-Relationships and Friendships

Over the past 8 or 9 years there has been a great transformations in my friendships. I have switched to hanging out with all guys literally to all girls. I would say out of the seven people I hung out with in college on a regular basis, 5 were guys. I get along with guys better. My BFF at the time I met my husband was a 30 year old guy with a kid married to a stripper. He was a house husband I met him through a friend at school. I was his Kramer, there were days I would come over there and not say a thing to him and play with his daughter. I hung out with his wife. Went shopping with her, helped her pick out outfits for work. He was like an awesome big brother who took me out to eat and took me shopping with his stripper wife's money. Let me also add his wife was bisexual and they had a very strange three way relationship with another stripper. I am still not sure what that was about. I digress.

When I met my husband he saw this relationship and was a bit taken back by it. The relationship was purely platonic. I never once kissed him, made out with him, slept with him, or anything that would make it a relationship. I do think his initial intentions might not have been so innocent (for instance he was trying hard to get me to like the movie 9 1/2 weeks, I just thought it to be silly),telling me I was sexually suppressed, and should become a stripper; but after a while he was the big brother, checking out potential boyfriends and keeping me from his guy friends who were trying to ask me out. When I first started dating my husband, my BFF was like I gotta meet him, I need to make sure he is "good enough". I proposed the idea of meeting my BFF to my husband, he declined. To this day if I mention BFF's name, it bothers him immensely. BFF moved away to Hawaii. BFF over the years will send me an email inviting me and my husband to stay with him in Hawaii so I can visit him and his daughter. My husband flat out refuses to take the invite.

Strange relationship, and now that I type this out this relationship does not seem innocent at all. Maybe it helps out to write things. Now I understand a little bit better why my husband cannot stand this BFF. I have had other less strange relationships with guys and my husband doesn't understand those either. He is under the impression guys and girls can not be friends. He believes men have ulterior motives when hanging out with girls, even gay ones. Yeah gay guys, men who like other men. They want women too.

I had a couple of co-workers I hung out with on a regular basis at a job I had a few years back, we would go to lunch together. Both of those co-workers were gay. I figured it is two guys, but they are gay, I am safe. My husband didn't think so and asked me to stop going to lunch with them. I went back and forth on this and decided I can go to lunch with who I want and it shouldn't matter, even straight male co-workers. I am not attractive, these men are not trying to get into my pants. They are trying to go to Freebirds (which is must tastier than Chipolte by the way) and get them a big ass burrito, they see I am hungry as hell and invite me. They aren't like maybe if I invite her to lunch she will have sex in my car with me while the other guys watch. I also want to note too, at his last job he had a female co-worker he used to hang out with. They went to lunch in groups, but in his industry girls have nothing better to do than hang out with boys, there aren't a bunch of women vying to learn .Net and C++. His rationale was it was ok for him because he knew better than to mess with her. Hello, don't I know the same thing?

Needless to say it make me wonder about him. He knows I am not pretty by traditional standards and this is Texas guys like blond haired, blue eyed girls. I am not the norm attractive girl here. Why should he even be worried? Why are guys so possessive?

I still talk to some of my friends from college, but usually through a random email. A couple have moved away. Some have gotten married, others just dropped out of sight. I HAD one friend who I can gripe to about my husband (like I do here, my husband is really a wonderful man you guys, very sweet, loving, and faithful). He started turning the conversation into you are not happy, you should leave him, and hey I am single, how about me diatribe. This friend does not fit my ideal, I am married, and hello we are friends I see how he treated his ex wife and not to mention he is a bit of a hick. OK he is a straight up hard core republican who is only 5'7 (too short in my eyes), who is uber preppy. He rides four wheelers, enjoys tractors, etc. He is cool as a drinking buddy, but not cool as someone you date. We would fight on a continuous basis about everything, and I would kill him. I know could take him on in a fist fight. He has decided in the last five or six years he likes the sistas. When we were friends all I saw were white girls on his arm, I was cool with that. His ex wife is white. I think now that he has found his preference for chocolate I fit into his ideal and he is trying to fit in where he can get in. Needless to say I have quit talking to him except to text him back when he wishes me a merry x-mas or some other random holiday. Other than that no contact. See I can be trusted in most cases.

So I see my husband's point about not trusting all guys and etc., etc., but I also feel that there should be enough trust there to know I would never do anything, even if propositioned. I would expect the same from him. Isn't that what a relationship is? I feel trust is very important in a relationship and I feel once again his parents dysfunction has made him a bit insecure in areas he shouldn't be. I am learning to work through this, but dang it, it is hard to get past certain things, except when he is looking all cute, then I can work through just about anything :)


Am I Becoming More Racist As I Get Older?

I am noticing as I get older, I get a bit more vocal and a bit more militant when people say things to me. For instance I was having a "discussion" with someone at another blog who started talking about Affirmative Action as a way to give minorities a free pass without merit or talent and that black people should just get over slavery. I didn't really back down with those statements. I actually thought, typical for a white person. That was obviously a racist thought, not all white people think that way, and hello I am married to a white guy, I really shouldn't think that way. But the older I get my experiences seem to make me more racist. I find it typical for white women in IR to think they are no longer racist and believe what their black men tell them about black women. I guess I get this from things I have read on IR message boards and maybe three white women who have said things similar to this to me in real life. Obviously this isn't all white women. I also get really irked that people in IR typically pretend that they aren't racist because they are in IR. I would say 99% of the people in this world have had a racist thought. I have and if you read this blog you know I love the white guys, and I am black as coal. My husband has had to check me a few times with my thoughts.

Am I racist, yeah I am, but I guess I should work on it and try to decide why I do harbor racist thought. Is it my upbringing? I was born 6 miles from a "sundown town". I grew up in places like Paris, TX, known for their Shaquanda Cotton debacle. The truth of the matter is though I have lived in more than two towns in Texas, I grew up moving all over Texas because of my father's job. Could it be because I grew up the majority my life as one of few blacks where I lived and where I went to school? I was asked the silliest questions about race and told stupid things. I had a friend in high school whose mother liked me because my family had a nice house and didn't live like most blacks who don't work and just loiter. Or grew up with people who didn't believe I lived in the house I lived in because I didn't live in the projects, and they believed that most black people lived in poverty. White people talking ebonics so they can relate to me, or asking me about hip hop or r&b.

I know not all people think this, but I guess my upbringing has either made me more racist, or more weary. Maybe I just lost faith in people. I know I haven't always stereotyped or had expressly racist thought, that I knew to focus on the individual. How does one change, how do you fix racist thought? Can it truly be fixed?


Reasons not to go back to school

OK part of my New Years Resolution was to go get my graduate degree. I am having second thoughts.

1) Why should I go back? It really wouldn't advance my career. My last few jobs have convinced me that you don't get ahead with education and hard work, but rather can you kiss ass and do you know someone.

2)I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up and I will be the ripe old age of 32 next month. Isn't that sad?

3) Side note, I graduated back in 2003. I was working full time and going to school, so I didn't have an active social life. I did however have a live in boyfriend at the time (my husband) and needless to say me working and going to school put a damper on our alone time. When I studied I had to go to the library because if I tried to study at home I would get a visit every five minutes from him wanting to hang out. It was cute at first, but kind of wore on me, especially if I was working on a paper or studying for a test.

4) Even when I was a more traditional college student, I was a wallflower, and I wasn't all that traditional. I was still living at home and driving 50 miles to and from school per my parents who demanded I live at home, or if I lived on campus, I would be without car. I was also expected to have a part time job. How was I going to get to said part time job? It is still a mystery to me. We live in Texas, there is no public transportation system where I was attending school at the time. I said all that nonsense to say I went to school and went home. I never once went to a college party, or frat party, or really hung out with people I actually went to school with.

5) In reference to #2, I am too old to be hanging out on a college campus with hot young 20 somethings. I would feel weird and incredibly ugly. I live in Texas, you can't even step out of the house without make up, much less now I gotta work out so I don't feel like committing suicide everyday because I can't wear a shirt that shows my midriff from Forever 21.

6) I gotta take the GRE or GMAT depending upon my major

7) I need to pick a damn major. Should I do the traditional MBA, or major in something I would like to do, or something that interest me?

8) Do I want to be tired all the time, going to school and working full time. I don't think the husband is going to want to give up big chunk of income every year so I can find myself. He thinks school is a waste of time. I can see why neither of us use our degrees. He is programming, he does not have a computer science degree.

Tough Guise: Violence, Media & the Crisis in Masculinity

I just viewed this documentary and I can definitely say Jackson Katz has some valid points. The problem is he runs with these points and stretches hard to really connect them. It does seem people are more violent. In particular men. It is expected they be really masculine. They have to be bad asses in every since of the word. He showed this over and over again with Rambo. I was tired of seeing Rambo in this documentary. I do wonder why people seem to be more violent. He blames media. Casper over at Flash Point believes that people are naturally inclined to be violent. Let us note that Casper has a job in which he gets his ribs broken and he fights people, so he might have a different perspective than me. I personally believe that our society in general has become so isolated from each other, desensitized, that it doesn't click that other people in the world have the same common emotions or thought. People in general violent or not, do not tend to show concern for others. It is rare to hear please and thank you. It is even rarer to hear someone say excuse me as they push you aside or step on your toe. I think media hasn't taught us to be more violent, but rather our exposure to everything has left us lacking empathy for others. I don't know my neighbors, the majority of people I talk to on a regular basis don't even live near me, but rather are the mysterious people of the internet. I think this disconnect is the root of all things bad. I spend more time awake at work than I do at home. There have been times at work in which if I was in an argument with my husband, it was done via email, text message, or phone. Doesn't that sound really crazy?


Hot Gray Haired Men Tribute

Today I was talking with a friend and we shared our mutual love of Anderson Cooper. He wears that white hair so nicely. His eyes are beautiful. His blog, absolutely divine and riveting. I think that is the appeal, his reporting. I don't know how many Gay White Haired Men I have ever thought to be attractive until I saw Anderson Cooper on CNN looking all dapper and smart. Me and my friend have a thing for intellects (i.e. nerds), and he looks wonderfully intellectual. Oh Anderson you are loved by many a straight girl. If only I were single and a man. I know Anderson hasn't expressly said he was gay, but I am going to go ahead and make that assumption since I have a snowballs chance in hell of going after him.

Another hot gray haired man is Ira Glass. I heard his voice for years on This American Life. I finally saw him and again wowsa. Of course too, it could be because I love This American Life. Ira has a nice voice, I think that is what makes him so awesome, that and the glasses. I have a weakness for glasses, I guess it is the nerd love thing.


The Invisibility of Whiteness

There are a couple of blogs in which the topic of white priviledge and white supremacy have come up. I think an interesting read for those on the topic would be at this blog. I am just going to repost what was said.
I think the last sentence boiled everything down. When we think of race or gender we don't think of white males. They have been excluded from this, and probably have no interest as well because it is seen as a non-white/women problem. How do we open our eyes and realize the discussion of race and gender should not be one sided, but all encompassing. Do you think that because white males in general have this disinterest or cannot relate to racism or sexism; that they might not be able to have a valid response to issues on race and gender? I would hope that all people in general would want to address the issues of race and gender and how the past inequalities still influence the present.

The Invisibility of Whiteness

As Jason Katz argues in the film Tough Guise: Violence, Media, & the Crisis in Masculinity, the way in which domination operates is that the dominant group is often rendered invisible and thus is unexamined. When we talk about race we normally think about African American, Latino, Asian; when we talk about sexual orientation we think homosexual, bisexual, transgender; when we talk about gender we think female. Rarely do we really look at the dominant group -- as if white isn't a racial category, as if heterosexual isn't a sexual orientation, and as if males don't have a gender. So if we're talking about racial issues specifically, part of what it means to be white is to not have your personal character flaws or actions attributed to your race.

A person example...

A couple of weeks ago in one of my sociology classes, the professor asked the class to define whiteness/white culture in the United States. Some of the characteristics that people listed were leisure, wholesome, and Brittney Spears. The professor then asked everyone to define Filipino culture. With relative ease, the class came up with a multitude of traits such as nurses, FOBs, gold diggers, lumpia, hard-working, family-oriented, and, according to one white woman's high school experience, Filipinos are seclusive.

It was then that I raised my hand and said, "I find it interesting that some of us look at Filipinos as seclusive, or self-segregating, and not whites, when whites are one of the most segregated racial groups [gated communities for example]. When we see a group of people of color we think 'Hey, they're sticking amongst each other. They're self-segregating.' But when we see a group of white people we think, 'Oh, those are just some people.' We don't talk about whites in racialized terms."

I also noticed how difficult it was for people in the class to define whiteness/white culture. In explaining as to why this might be so, Ruth Frankenburg, author of the book White Women, Race Matters: The Social Construction of Whiteness, argues that white culture is “invisible” because it is constructed as “normal.” Because whiteness is seen as the norm - as the standard against which all others are measured, "white culture has no definition, only those who deviate from the norm have ‘culture.’”

Interestingly enough as I was contemplating about what other examples I could use to illustrate this idea, I came across an article in the New York Times entitled, "Obama Pins Hopes on Oprah Factor in South Carolina." In it the writer states the following:

Ms. Winfrey’s show and persona generally transcend race (the vast majority of her 8.6 million daytime viewers are white). Mr. Obama has tried to do the same with his campaign. But Sunday, Ms. Winfrey referred both directly and indirectly to what she called a “seminal moment” in the nation’s history. It was clear she was talking about the chance to elect the first black president.

What the writer here implies is that Oprah's personality as well as her show are "race neutral" because most of her viewers are white. Likewise, Obama has opted for a more "universal" (meaning white) appeal. "Transcending race", according to the writer, means tailoring your image and persona so that it appeals to mostly white people -- as if whites do not belong to a racial group. Because both Oprah and Obama are now reaching out to blacks, their actions are viewed as racial.

If we are truly aspiring to achieve racial justice then we need to look at racism (and by that I mean a system of ideas embedded into our institutions which gives whites unearned advantages over people of color) as a white problem rather than just a problem that people of color face.


White Men Bringing That Black Girl Home

OK this discussion of family has me curious. How do most white men feel about bringing home the black girl? How many white men have actually bought home a black woman?

I know with my husband, I was one of two women he bought around to meet his mother. His mother is very open minded, and she knew he had a preference for non-white women. The majority of women my husband had dated were not black, he dated Asian, Indian, multiracial, and other black women before me. His mother seemed to have no problems, his current step father was under the impression black people and white people should not marry. My husband doesn't really like his step father. His previous step father, his brothers biological father is vehemently against our relationship. He mentions it to my brother in law constantly. It isn't even his child and he is upset. We also want to note that when my husband was growing up and lived with this man, he used to tell him as a threat he was going to make him kiss the chicken flavored lips of n*ggers. Yeah. Classy man. My husband took his advice, except my lips do not taste like chicken. He also told my husband when he turned 16 he was going to take him to a prostitute so he could be made a man. Thankfully his mother divorced him before he turned 16.

I do wonder though if he didn't dislike his current step father, or if his mother was with Mr. KKK at the time we were dating, would he have bought me around to the family to meet them. Not because he would be ashamed of me, but scared of what his parents would say.

I do know he gave me disclaimers for both sets of grandparents. It wasn't until Clerks II did he realize his grandmothers could be a bit racist.


More weird things that happen at Chinese food buffets

Upon entering the Chinese food buffet while visiting family, my husband's uncle introduced me to the cashier (they visit this place often). She looked so confused when he said "This is my niece!", she was like "OK" and then she asked me "Are you his niece?" I shook my head yes, and then pointed to my husband. She then asked "Are you guys married?", like it was still illegal for blacks and whites to be married. We got that a couple of more times from a couple of more employees at the restaurant.

Visiting the Family

Wow you guys this is my 200th post!! I have way too much time on my hands.

This weekend me and my husband went to visit his grandparents in Houston. Since I have been with my husband, they have never seemed to have a problem with my husband being with me, but they say things that make me wonder. We go down there to meet his grandparents and end up visiting with other family members like his uncles, aunts, and even my husband's father, who he has a VERY distant relationship with.

His father was quick to embrace me. The first time he met me he was quick to mention how much he enjoyed "Sanford and Son" and "Good Times". Yeah this is what I talk about when I say they say things.

My husband has one uncle who is mentally challenged. He loves me and my mother (he met her once), but he asks about her constantly. He says things and no one bothers to correct him, not about black people but Asians. Grandparents love buffets and of course we went to a Chinese food buffet on Saturday night. The manager is familiar with the whole family. Of course the manager is Asian, and he talks to my husband's uncle constantly. My husband's uncle enjoys talking about Bruce Lee movies with him, and calls him Bruce Lee and asks if he knows Kung Fu. That is not cute.

Yesterday afternoon, we were sitting at his grandparents house, we noticed the family across the street trimming their tree and putting the limbs on the empty lot next to their home. We were all shaking our heads noticing how rude they are. These neighbors are pretty rude, they do things like have loud parties and use my husband's grandparent's drive way without asking for their guest at these parties. These neighbors also happen to be Hispanic. His other uncle makes the comment that the rudeness is attributed to their race, and not simply because they are rude. Then I asked about the other neighbors, as his grandparents area is very heavily populated by Hispanics, as with a lot of areas of Texas, and he started saying that the rude Hispanic family doesn't do it to their own, just to his grandparents. He does say most of the other neighbors are either very nice or keeps to himself. But if he thinks it is "us vs. them" on Hispanics, what does he think about black people?

His grandmother is very nice, but damn she can say some crazy things as well. She refers to haggling as "Jewing them down". Seriously. I told her that could be offensive to some, since the anti-hispanic uncle and his wife are newly converted "Jews For Jesus".

As my husband says, he family is very strange, but seriously I do wonder about what they really feel about my relationship with their grandson. At least they are asking about great grandchildren. I guess I might be their magical negro, they think I am the exception, not the rule. Is that why they are ok with me?


White Men Sexuality Myths

I got inspired to do this blog listening to a podcast over at Angry Black Cat. It made me think about white male myths. Whenever me and my girlfriends start discussing sex, in particular with my black girlfriends, I get the inevitable question about sex with my husband. Hey can you be satisfied by a small dick? Is he crazy freaky in bed? Is it pink? They ask these questions in complete seriousness. I am wondering why there is this notion that white men are these guys with small packages who enjoy playing anal ringtoss. Seriously, it makes you wonder why do these stereotypes exist?

The big myth is that white men have smaller penises on average than black men. Now as a woman I can say I have never laid down with a man with a 14 inch penis, and I probably wouldn't want to, that sounds about as fun as a pap smear. On the flip side though, I have never been with a man that has a micro penis. I googled this to see if there were any stats to say if there was a difference in penis size based upon race and most answers given were no and inconclusive, there is no real way to know for sure. All races come in all sizes. Why do white men get the short end of the stick so to speak when it comes to penis size?

In terms of the color of a penis. I have never seen a purple or pink penis. Personally I don't think I could lay with a guy who had said colored penis, I guess that when my friends say this, they I guess think that white people already look pink, or since blood rushes to the penis during an erection, it "turns" pink.

In terms of white guys being freaks. I think that black folks feed each other that nonsense to justify why someone would be with a white person. I remember growing up being told white girls would do anything, that is why black boys chase after them. I know white people have heard the stereotypes about blacks in general just loving to have sex and make babies. I think that the freakiness depends on the individual. It isn't due to race. Maybe this stereotype abounds because when we hear of crazy sex crimes in the media, it is usually white men. Black men per the news only commit violent crime. White men just have crazy sex and embezzle money from large companies and their shareholders. R. Kelly and Michael Jackson are the exceptions, not the rule.

The truth is these women have never seen a white penis and can only come up with stereotypes and ideals that have been engraved in their minds on why they should not be with a white guy. If they knew the truth, it would probably give them less ammunition to justify why they feel they must deal exclusively with black men to prove how "down" they are with the black community.

AAAAAwwwww No Mr. Magoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yan, yes Ron Paul does look like Mr. Magoo

Damn Ron Paul, Damn........I knew you was crazy, but I didn't know you were this crazy!!!!!

Ron Paul '90s newsletters rant against blacks, gays

From Brian Todd

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- A series of newsletters in the name of GOP presidential hopeful Ron Paul contain several racist remarks -- including one that says order was restored to Los Angeles after the 1992 riots when blacks went "to pick up their welfare checks."

CNN recently obtained the newsletters -- written in the 1990s and one from the late 1980s -- after a report was published about their existence in The New Republic.

None of the newsletters CNN found says who wrote them, but each was published under Paul's name between his stints as a U.S. congressman from Texas.

Paul told CNN's "The Situation Room" Thursday that he didn't write any of the offensive articles and has "no idea" who did. VideoWatch Paul's full interview with CNN »

"When you bring this question up, you're really saying, 'You're a racist' or 'Are you a racist?' And the answer is, 'No, I'm not a racist,'" he said.

Paul said he had never even read the articles with the racist comments. See the newsletter excerpts for yourself »

"I do repudiate everything that is written along those lines," he said, adding he wanted to "make sure everybody knew where I stood on this position because it's obviously wrong."

But that's not good enough, says one political veteran.

"These stories may be very old in Ron Paul's life, but they're very new to the American public and they deserve to be totally ventilated," said David Gergen, a CNN senior political analyst. "I must say I don't think there's an excuse in politics to have something go out under your name and say, 'Oh by the way, I didn't write that.'"

Paul, who is not considered a front-runner, has become an Internet phenomenon in the current race, raising tens of millions of dollars from a devoted online base, many of them young people drawn to his libertarian straight talk. See where the money is coming from »

The controversial newsletters include rants against the Israeli lobby, gays, AIDS victims and Martin Luther King Jr. -- described as a "pro-Communist philanderer." One newsletter, from June 1992, right after the LA riots, says "order was only restored in L.A. when it came time for the blacks to pick up their welfare checks."

Another says, "The criminals who terrorize our cities -- in riots and on every non-riot day -- are not exclusively young black males, but they largely are. As children, they are trained to hate whites, to believe that white oppression is responsible for all black ills, to 'fight the power,' to steal and loot as much money from the white enemy as possible."

In some excerpts, the reader may be led to believe the words are indeed from Paul, a resident of Lake Jackson, Texas. In the "Ron Paul Political Report" from October 1992, the writer describes carjacking as the "hip-hop thing to do among the urban youth who play unsuspecting whites like pianos."

The author then offers advice from others on how to avoid being carjacked, including "an ex-cop I know," and says, "I frankly don't know what to make of such advice, but even in my little town of Lake Jackson, Texas, I've urged everyone in my family to know how to use a gun in self defense. For the animals are coming."

In his interview with CNN, Paul said that's language he would never use. "People who know me, nobody is going to believe this," he said. "That's just not my language. It's not my life."

He added, "Martin Luther King, Rosa Parks, Ghandi, they're the heroes [of my life]."

Matt Welch, the editor-in-chief of "Reason" magazine who shares some of Paul's beliefs on big government, says he has never heard the congressman make racist comments like those in the newsletters.

"What I think some people are looking for him to do is to say, 'OK, who wrote that?' I mean, there's 20 years, give or take, worth of newsletters there," Welch said.

Paul said the editor of publications "is responsible for daily activities." But he also cited "transition" and "changes" and said that some people were hired to write stories "but I didn't know their names."

The presidential hopeful described the newsletter revelations as a "rehash" of old material dug up by his opponents because he is gaining ground with black voters due to his stance against the war in Iraq and the war on drugs.

"I am the anti-racist because I am the only candidate -- Republican or Democrat -- who would protect the minority against these vicious drug laws," he said.

"Libertarians are incapable of being a racist, because racism is a collectivist idea."


Black Women, White Men, and Blogs: Representing Black Women

I know black women are down trodden, need to expand their options, and blah blah blah. White men need to add input to why they like black women, blah, blah, blah.

Sometimes, even if a blog has a particular topic or theme, on occasion it gets boring talking about said topic or theme and running the conversation into the ground.

Most comments go like this for the most part on WM/BW blogs:

BW commenter: Black women are down trodden, stereotyped, need to expand their options, and blah blah blah.
BW commenter: White men need to add input to why they like black women, blah, blah, blah.
WM commenter: ::chirp:: ::chirp::
Another WM commenter: great topic, let me add my two cents.
BW commenter: let's keep talking about the same valid points over and over and over again. That would be so awesome, white men I need validation from you, do you really like us? Seriously, do you love us? I need to hear from you! Keep saying the same shit over and over again.

Some people choose to deviate from this, they start to get familiar with people and their views and they start talking about other things, like in REAL LIFE. I would hate to date a black woman who was obsessed with BW/WM relations to the point that was all she talked about. Same for a man, I would think he had a fetish.

If it bothers that people deviate from the conversation or topic at hand,you skip over it. There are way too many options on the internet for you to feel you must dictate the direction of a blog that isn't even yours!!!! I have a link to a message board on the right dedicated to talking about black women and white men, but guess what they chat about other things too!!!!!!!

I think most people with this complaint come to these particular blogs looking for men. Blogs are not places to get men, they are places to observe, learn, and sometimes comment. Not a dating site.

I am also tired of being a representative of black women. I don't think exactly like every other black women out there. If people think all black women are like me, they are too ignorant to even talk to. Black women are diverse in looks, talk, and ideals. So if I am a representative of black women, I am resigning from the job.

If a white man or any person of another race chooses to look at my viewpoint and say that is reflective of black people, they need to reevaluate why they feel that I represent all black people. 50 Cent or Beyonce don't represent me, but I always see their black asses plastered everywhere, so why would my behavior or thought dictate what another person thinks of black people?


Straddling the line of old and young

I am straddling the line of old woman and kid.

-For instance today I went to Toys R Us and bought a magic wand with magic sound for myself. I have played with it all day today. My husband has hidden it from me, he is tired of the magic sound and lights.

-I got pissy that some loud kids were talking in a movie theater.

-I know what the hell the Suite Life of Zach and Cody is thanks to my newly acquired little sister, and I hate it; but I watch it so often, I recognize the janitor guy doing a medicine commercial.

-I blog, but I listen to NPR when I do blog. My husband still doesn't understand the concept of talk radio, and why I am drawn to it. I love it, I can't help it. Old people love talk radio.

Movie Theater Etiquette

OK today me and the husband went to see Sweeney Todd. It was a good movie from what I could hear of it. Three people in my theater thought it would be cool to chit chat during the whole damn movie. They talked about how Johnny Depp talked, the outfits the people were wearing, and were so enthralled in their conversation they were asking each other questions about what happened.

Now I am a movie fiend. I love going to movies. I love listening to and watching movies. So I am wondering for those who go to the movies just to talk, why the hell don't you go hang out in a Starbucks and talk so the rest of us folks can watch the damn movie?!?!?!?!! Also for the folks who need their cell phone on during the movie. If you are so important that you need to be reached via your phone during the movie, and you need to answer said call right then and there, then your dumb ass doesn't need to be at the movie theater. Stay at the house or in the office, and if you have to be in the theater, get up and leave to take the call.

Needless to say I have learned to hate people in general, and I am just turning into a mean old lady.


What About Beirut....who doesn't like Beirut?

OK What about Okkervil River?

OK What about Sigur Ros?

You have to like Sigur Ros because they make up their own words. no English or Icelandic here, just stuff that fits the music. Is Nice


Racism is dead?

Racist graffiti being removed from home after two weeks

By ANGELA K. BROWN Associated Press Writer
© 2008 The Associated Press

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ARLINGTON, Texas — For the past two weeks, hate-filled words sprayed with bright red paint have remained on a home's white garage doors: "Kill." "Die (N-word)."

Broderick Gamble, who is black, rejected some of his neighbors' requests and the city's offer to remove the racist graffiti. He said he wanted people to see the stark symbol of hatred, which appeared two days after his fiancee was allegedly beaten with a 2-by-4 board by one of their white neighbors.

But Thursday, Gamble said he had accepted a national talk radio show's donation of new doors that will replace his old ones in a day or two. He said he is ready to put the incident behind him, now that people are aware that racism remains a problem in today's society.

"That's the message we were trying to send after this atrocity happened to us," he said Thursday, adding that he was happy to be "blessed" with new garage doors.

Arlington police said they have no suspects in the Dec. 21 graffiti incident.

Grace Head, 66, is accused of hitting Silk Littlejohn, who is black, in the face with a board, throwing trash in the couple's yard, jumping on their car and yelling racial slurs Dec. 19, police said.

Authorities charged Head with aggravated assault, criminal trespassing, failure to identify herself to a police officer, felony criminal mischief and misdemeanor criminal mischief. They hope to prosecute her under state hate crimes laws, which would increase the punishment, said Police Chief Theron Bowman.

Head is out of jail on bond. No one answered the door Thursday at Head's house, where two signs hang in her front yard: "security cameras in use" and "smile — you're on camera."

Her attorney Albert Ross told The Associated Press that "there certainly is another side to the story" but said he preferred to discuss details in court.

"Grace is certainly not a racial, prejudicial person," Ross said.

City officials said racially motivated incidents are uncommon in Arlington but will not be tolerated.

"I want to say emphatically: There is no room in Arlington for people who perpetrate hate crimes, particularly those that are based upon race," Mayor Robert Cluck said Thursday at a news conference. "We are proud of our diversity, and our intentions are to continue to celebrate diversity in Arlington."

Arlington's population includes 67.7 percent white residents, 19.3 percent Hispanic, 15.9 percent black and 5.6 percent Asian residents, according to the Arlington Chamber of Commerce.

Councilman Mel LeBlanc said some neighbors have been frustrated by the slow progress of construction on what Gamble calls his "dream home." The 2,800-square foot stone house remains unfinished after two years, and large mounds of dirt and piles of debris cover the yard.

That may have played a role in the incidents, but there's no excuse for a hate crime, LeBlanc said.

"The reprehensible act of an individual, I can tell you, does not reflect the overall sentiment and sensibility of our community," LeBlanc said. "This is not Arlington. This is an aberration."

Gamble said he has done most of the work on the house himself but has been delayed by thefts of his tools and materials. Despite the attack and graffiti, he said, he has "not one bit" of regret about building in the usually quiet neighborhood with mostly older residents, and he and his fiancee plan to remain there.

Some ministers are organizing an event Jan. 12 to help Gamble finish his house and clean up his yard, urging all local churches to participate.

"We want to use this as an opportunity to address the question of reconciliation," said the Rev. Peter Johnson, state director of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference. "This is an opportunity to speak to the past but to move forward. We have international enemies; we don't need to be our own enemies."

Hate crimes in Texas fell to their lowest level in five years, with 245 reported in Texas in 2006, according to FBI statistics. There were 7,722 hate crimes motivated by prejudice against race, religion, sexual orientation or a disability in the United States in 2006, according to the FBI.

"This heinous act against this family has not gone unnoticed or unchallenged," said Rita Sibert, president of the Arlington branch of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People. "Any time members of our community are mistreated because of their differences, we are going to act and react immediately.

Dallas County Showing Again Why I Am Against The Death Penalty

How many people have been exonerated after being convicted in Dallas County? This person makes 30 for Texas, 15 for Dallas County alone per this story. The worst part is, that this is getting more national coverage than local coverage. They are treating it like a crime blotter story.

Texas man freed after 26 years in prison

By JEFF CARLTON, Associated Press Writer 1 hour, 53 minutes ago

DALLAS - Three times during his nearly 27 years in prison, Charles Chatman went before a parole board and refused to admit he was a rapist. His steadfastness was vindicated Thursday, when a judge released him because of new DNA evidence showing he indeed wasn't. The release of Chatman, 47, added to Dallas County's nationally unmatched number of wrongfully convicted inmates.

"Every time I'd go to parole, they'd want a description of the crime or my version of the crime," Chatman said. "I don't have a version of the crime. I never committed the crime. I never will admit to doing this crime that I know I didn't do."

District Judge John Creuzot, whom defense lawyers credited with shepherding Chatman's case for exoneration through the legal system, recommended that Texas' Court of Criminal Appeals find Chatman not guilty. With several relatives dabbing at their eyes with tissues and cheering, Chatman was released.

"I really can't tell you how I feel," said his aunt, Ethel Barley. "But I can tell you it is a different feeling than I have had in a long time, just to be holding his own hand."

Before the crime is officially cleared from Chatman's record, the appeals court must accept the recommendation or the governor must grant a pardon. Either step is considered a formality after Creuzot's ruling.

Chatman became the 15th inmate from Dallas County since 2001 to be freed by DNA testing. He served more time than any of the other inmates, four of whom were in court Thursday to show their support.

Dallas has freed more inmates after DNA testing than any other county nationwide, said Natalie Roetzel of the Innocence Project of Texas. Texas leads the country in prisoners freed by DNA testing, releasing at least 30 wrongfully convicted inmates since 2001, according to the Innocence Project.

One of the biggest reasons for the large number of exonerations is the crime lab used by Dallas County, which accounts for about half the state's DNA cases. Unlike many jurisdictions, the lab used by police and prosecutors retains biological evidence, meaning DNA testing is a viable option for decades-old crimes.

District Attorney Craig Watkins also attributes the exonerations to a past culture of overly aggressive prosecutors seeking convictions at any cost. Watkins has started a program in which law students, supervised by the Innocence Project of Texas, are reviewing about 450 cases in which convicts have requested DNA testing to prove their innocence.

"It is time we stop kidding ourselves in believing that what happened in Dallas is somehow unique," said Jeff Blackburn, the founder of the Innocence Project of Texas. "What happened in Dallas is common. This is Texas."

The hearing attracted a standing-room-only crowd that included Watkins, who was greeted warmly by two wrongly convicted Dallas men who have since won their freedom. Also there was state Rep. Terri Hodge, a member of the criminal jurisprudence committee, who promised unspecified reforms when the Legislature convenes in 2009.

Chatman was 20 when the victim, a young woman in her 20s, picked him from a lineup. Chatman said he lived five houses down from the victim for 13 years but never knew her.

She identified him in court as the attacker, and serology tests showed that the type of blood found at the crime scene matched that of Chatman — along with 40 percent of other black males.

Chatman said he was working at the time of the assault, an alibi supported by his sister, who was also his employer. Nevertheless, Chatman was convicted of aggravated sexual assault in 1981 and sentenced to 99 years in prison.

Chatman said he believes his race led to his arrest and conviction. The jury, he said, had one black member.

"I was convicted because a black man committed a crime against a white woman," Chatman said. "And I was available."

Chatman said he wants to work with the Innocence Project of Texas to support other people exonerated or wrongly convicted.

"I believe that there are hundreds, and I know of two or three personally that very well could be sitting in this seat if they had the support and they had the backing that I have," Chatman said. "My No. 1 interest is trying to help people who have been in the situation I am in."


Associated Press writer Paul J. Weber contributed to this report.