Black Hair and IR Relationships

OK I am hitting on the touchy subject of black hair. As you know I am natural. I have been for pretty much the duration of my relationship. But I have an admission. I was addicted to the ceramic hot iron. I couldn't get away from the straight look. I would spend two hours once a week straightening my hair. Once it was straight it would stay straight. No water touched that hair until the next washing. No humidity. No running your fingers through it or messing it up. I wrap it up at night. I know that satin bonnet looked sexy as hell to my husband. The hair has been a pretty minute issue in our relationship, but it has come up. If you want to take a shower together, it better be on wash day so messing up my hair is not done in vain. I am running to and from the building on rainy and humid days. I can't be outside all day. I can't be sweating at the gym, I have to glisten and then make sure my hair wasn't exposed to said glisten. Again no getting carried away and playing in my hair.

I think that white guys don't think about the time spent to make black hair straight. It is a lot of effort. So when they ask you things like if you want to go swimming or if they can play in your hair, they don't understand why you look at them so crazy. Or when you looked at him crazy because on the way to the mall, restaurant, etc. it started raining and you were not trying to get our hair messed up by walking casually into said place. My husband didn't know about the black hair issues. He was innocent as all get out when he saw me put in my last relaxer and asked "Why do you put that stuff in your hair?" Understanding the concept of relaxer, but not fully understanding the concept. He once asked me could my hair grow. When I met him my hair was much shorter. I started growing my hair to show him my hair could grow. Now he has decided he likes longer hair so I have been encouraged not to cut it, but keep it at its current length. He still likes it when I get a wild hair up my ass and straighten it. But he likes it curly too. I think he likes a curly a little bit better because it is less maintenance for me and less time. He likes the braid outs too, but doesn't like the day I go around the house looking like Celie from The Color Purple the day before I do the braid out.

I am natural now. One really cool thing about being natural is I can get my wet. My husband can touch and play in my hair because now a little shea butter and spritz and I am good. I can work stuff out with a little product and not look too crazy.