2008-02-16

The Double Standard?




This man is steady talking about a black woman who expressed her preference for white men. This man is the type of man who would go to this event:



Thanks seattleslim!!!

He was making that video in response to this video:



This woman is really cool. Very different, but really cool. I don't agree with everything she says, but honestly her opinion is an interesting one and she has a lot to say. Warning though her blog is kind of racy (she is in an adult oriented industry) and she curses more than me.

Why is there is a double standard between black men and black women? Black men can have preference and other black men don't seem to have a problem with it. They can be completely turned off by dark skinned women, only want women who look like Beyonce. The long flowing blonde hair, the honey colored skin, the ability to pass or look mixed. They can date hispanic, asian, white women and it is ok. There is no outcry, except from black women. Now let's turn things around, these same black men high fiving guys with preferences for light skinned and non black women, now will have an issue with a black woman dating a non black guy. I do not know how many times in college I heard the "come back home" diatribe from black guy friends when they realized I was dating white guys. The big brother, little sister lectures about white men only wanting sex, and they could never bring you home to their white families. Some of these guys were steady dating women of other races, some exclusively, but yet they had a problem with me dating white or hispanic or whatever else I was dating at the time.

My theory about the double standard is this: We take ownership of those who look like us, and even if we don't follow the rules (i.e. date within the race) it isn't ok for others to do so.

I always used to hear these same black guys who gave me lectures tell me that I shouldn't worry about them because when it was time to settle down, it was going to be a black women for them. Why I gotta wait for you, what am I supposed to do in the mean time? A girl has needs too!!!!! These same black men would psycho analyze me trying to determine how and why I always seemed to be with white guys, but they never questioned themselves.

How can men and women who date IR combat this double standard? I shouldn't be mad a black guy is dating a white woman, and he shouldn't be mad I am dating a white guy. Shouldn't we just be happy the other found happiness?