2008-02-20

Porn and Feminism



I was reading this article here in defense of pro-sex feminism. Which led me to this article. When I first decided I was going to be a feminist, sometime when I was 16, I fell into the anti-pornography camp. Pornography exploited women, and encouraged and embraced violence against women. Porn to me was bad. I had never even seen a porn at that point, unless you count that soft core stuff on Skin-a-max. Just on a personal level at that point, I thought sex was a shameful thing, done behind closed doors in the sanctity of a monogamous relationship. Masturbation was a sin, and for those with no self control (I admit it now, I was a sinner). I think this had a lot to do with my Baptist upbringing and my experiences being molested. I thought sex was a horrible thing, and I felt guilty for years that by all accounts I knew things from the age of 5 to 12 that I never should have known sexually, and that I never ever should have ever experienced pleasure from such things, but like most people who have been molested, you learn that many times your body betrays you, and you do experience pleasure from something that is wrong. It took me several years to learn this. I also think that my experiences led to other things I will talk about in another post.

My foray into porn didn't come ironically until after I met my husband. I found his porn stash at his apartment and on his computer. I confronted him about it, and he was unapologetic, which really killed me at the time. I equated his liking porn to him not being satisfied with me, and he equated his utilizing porn to being a horny guy. Needless to say he asked me did I look at porn, and at that time aside from the smutty romance novel, I could honestly say no. Then he told me to go look at porn, and I actually did, and it didn't bother me as much that he looked at porn because I was watching it too. I think was lucky at that time because now they have porn directed at women, not the porn for women, like at Yan's, but actual porn in which for once the woman didn't have corny dialogue, the man had to look somewhat decent, and for which the women did not have to worship the all mighty penis. I felt I was still keeping it real as a feminist, but yet not be sexually repressed. I started reading Susie Bright and Betty Dodson. Even on my blog, if you look at my list of links, I have a link to a adult sex store.

I think I see porn for what it is now, in most cases, which is entertainment and an aid for horny people. I will also venture to say most people get horny, and there is a reason porn is such a huge industry, not all of it appeals to every one, but in porn, there is something for every one.