2008-03-08

Do you know any IR couples like this?





I have had the fortunate situation of being married to a man who is fairly aware of race and race issues. I think him growing up in predominantly hispanic and black areas (at least throughout high school),has made him more aware than maybe someone who has not been exposed to different races growing up.

Now I do know a few couples, some even in my family in which there is one partner a bit racist and completely unaware of it because they feel since they are married to someone of a different race there is no way they could be racist.

My prime example of this is my husband's friend. He is hispanic, his wife is white. His wife says crazy off the wall stuff all the time, stuff I would have cursed my husband out if he had said those things to me. She got upset that her brother in law prefers to date hispanic and black women primarily. She feels the only way he is going to get a decent woman is to marry a white women, just like his brother. Every hispanic or black girl he has ever brought around them isn't good enough for him, but the one white woman he did bring around was perfect for him, even though he treated her like complete crap and she was slightly bipolar and didn't take her medication consistently. She also has issues being around hispanics outside of her husband's family. Her mother in law comes to visit for her husband's birthday. For his birthday and for my husband (she treats him as a son, my husband actually lived with them for a while in high school), she wants to make tamales. She asks her daughter in law to take her to a Carnival, Fiesta, or Ole (grocery stores that are geared to the hispanic population) and the wife refuses. She is scared someone is going to scratch her car. That is the excuse she used anyway. I don't know why the chances of her car getting scratched increases at these stores. The wife will however take her mother in law way across to the other side of town to go to a Central Market or Whole Foods (i.e. specialty grocery store with organic food whose demographic tends to be a bit more caucasian)so that her mother in law can get what she needs to make tamales.

They recently had a baby. She was actually excited the baby came out looking relatively white. She is unaware that many children of color come out a certain skin tone, but darken after time. The child has darkened and surprise looks as if she may be hispanic, she has quit talking about the baby's skin tone.

She has even said crazy stuff to me.

She is very nice, but I have to keep her at a distance so I don't have to tell her about herself.