2008-03-30

European White Guys vs. American White Guys

In the last post, there were comments made about European White Men vs. American White Men. I figured it would make a good post, since I have dated European Men and American Men.

My experience with American white guys for the most part have been good. I have had some bad experiences though. Guys who ask me out, but are scared to tell their friends or want to keep things on the down low. Men who basically just want sex (hell who I am kidding, that is all men LOL). Not all American guys were like this, heck I am married an American guy :)

I will say I have dated three European Guys (one from Italy, one from England, one from Germany). I found them to be more open to dating IR. The English guy was the first white guy my age that actively pursued me. Usually the white American guys were older, I wasn't into older guys, I liked guys my own age, I still do. I don't think I would want a 21 year old or a 50 year old at this point in my life (if I were single). He was also actually really attractive, and I will admit I have a weakness for accents, but he was really pretty. I even lowered my height requirement, he was only 5'10 which is short for me :) Blue eyes, dark hair, and a very, very nice six pack. I don't think I ever saw a six pack like that in real life ever before then, or even now. It was awesome. I digress. Anyway he was a college student, like myself, he was really nice for the most part, the only reason we quit seeing each other is because he moved back to England. He was shockingly open about our relationship with everyone. The white guys I had dated in the past weren't so overtly open with the whole relationship. They wouldn't show affection in public aside from holding hands, where as this guy was openly affectionate. I found this to be the case with the other two European guys as well.

The Italian guy was a bit older, I was 19, he was 28, but again very open about the relationship. He was big on going out and very confrontational with people who even gave us looks, which you get a lot in Texas. It is odd to see BW/non black men couples. I am used to the looks since I pretty much have always dated IR. We broke up though because he was really shallow. He was all about appearances and very absorbed in the Dallas materialistic lifestyle.

The German guy was a bit more reserved than the other two, but still open. He just had no clue about black people at all. He would ask me crazy questions all the time. I had to leave him alone.

Now I have gone on some casual dates with other European guys (Irish and English mostly), but nothing really all that serious.

Most the American guys I have dated, including my husband don't seem to be as overtly affectionate. They also tend to have issues or concerns about their parents and/or friends. I think it is more of an novelty to date a black girl. There is no intention of a serious long term relationship. When they actively pursue a black woman, it isn't always overt, they are more subtle in their approach. I think the strained race relations are obvious in these relationships. There is also a matter of politics. I find European guys tend to be more liberal. Of course I live in Texas, where everyone is a hard core republican, so many of the guys I have dated have been kind of conservative, even those who are a bit more liberal, like my husband tend to be a bit more conservative.

My experiences I will admit are limited, but this is my take on American guys vs. European guys. I don't think American guys are bad, just different, and the racial history of America brings some complex feelings on the concept of IR dating.