2008-04-02

White Women's Reactions To IR Between BW and WM



This woman above is considered by America as the traditional beauty. She is blonde, straight hair, blue eyed, and white.

Most black women I know don't fit this mold. We have dark hair, brown eyes, dark skin, and a lot of us don't have long, bone straight hair. This is the cultural norm of beauty, and even if you don't have all of those features, but at least one of them you can at least say you might be pretty in the context of normal beauty. The most important of these features being white skin. Most black women cannot. If we have straight hair, it is due to relaxer and weave. We can only bleach our skin so much, we will never look white, and the only way to get blonde hair and blue eyes is through aid of dye and contacts. So we can never be authentically beautiful in the eyes of most people in America.

This takes me to some reactions I have gotten from SOME white women in realizing I am married to a white man.

-Some are shocked me and my husband are actually married and not just dating or shacking up. They assume it is crazy that a white man would want to marry a black woman. To them that is beyond comprehension and so they just think his relationship with me is a complete phase, and he will obviously marry a white woman eventually.

-Some make the assumption my husband is from the trailer park. He must have come from poor folks. As any white man from a decent white family would never shame his family by marrying a black woman.

-Some are shocked he is employed and he is the primary bread winner in the family. I make(made) decent money, but not enough to support me and my husband with his expensive taste in electronics, computers, and video game addiction. He makes decent money. The assumption is he must be using me for money.

-Some are shocked he does not look like the Hunchback of Notre Dame. He is actually a normal, cute looking, white guy. Only ugly men who can't get white women would want a black woman right?

-Some assume he must be deuce like. He isn't. Yeah he listens to hip hop, but he shops Banana Republic. Very, very preppy. I will admit when we first met he loved some Tommy Hilfiger, wore a gold chain, and had some FUBU t-shirts. He has in his defense never broke out into ebonics and that was a very short phase in his life during high school and the beginning of college. He isn't "down", and my parents would have beat him down if he were speaking ebonics. Hell, I am not allowed to speak ebonics in their house.

It seems to confuse some white women that a man, much less a white man could ever want me. Is it due to jealously? I don't think so, I think it is due to the fact that white women in terms of beauty are put upon a pedestal, not just by white men, but all races of men, so for any man to go against the grain unsettles some women, and they realize and can see that black women are competition in the dating world.