2008-06-19

Sharazad Ali Revisited

This morning I received a comment to this post from Keeta.

Keeta said:

WOW! Everyone blows me away when speaking about Sharazad Ali but I have yet to see many people who discuss her and truly understand the meanings of her words. They are alot of black women who are responding in the same manner in what she has spoke of in the book. What irritates me is how many of us ladies are not taking consideration of what the TRUTH is and how this is all related to our history as black people. We as black people were the original man and were equipped with the knowledge of how to survive in all areas of life but now in this day in age we look to what caucasians have TOLD us is right. We as sistas have to stop worrying about what she gone say or what doesn't look right to somebody else and do what is best for our people as a whole. Our communities don't seem to be any better now and that comes from following what the caucasian has told us but let your own people try to provide information to us to help each of us benefit and no one wants to listen, no one stands up. Question: is if so many men agree with her why wouldn't sistas really take a serious look into this....why because of exactly what Shahrazad is speaking of in her book we are helping the black man to fail. What is so wrong with uplifting black men? We are very strong as black women but we are too weak to admit when we are wrong and to take a stand for the Black nation as a whole.For those who have read the book u can't tell me some of the things she said u didn't think, I do that sometimes or I've did that before. I know I have and I was unhappy and making my man unhappy but I know I wanted to be with him, but now I treat him like the King he is and was made to be, and he treats me like a Queen everyday. I am happy and the family is happy and this is just because I understand my man now!! It is time for us as a Black nation to reclaim our destiny.If we begin to change now, we can all begin to change. And also you don't have to agree with everything someone says but do learn YOUR history and not what they want us to know.


I see comments like this a lot. It seems many times black women are the "whipping boy" of the black community. If black men fail it is because black women don't support them. If they date white women, it is because of black women (we are fat, demanding, full of attitude, gold diggers). If they are weak men, it is because black women bullied them. We as black women can never catch a break.

My response to Keeta is this:

From what I gather Sharazad Ali does not believe black women are as intelligent as black men. We have smaller brains. We shoplift, we bully black men, and we are to blame for the issues that plague the black community. As I stated before, I believe the downfall of the black community rests upon the shoulders of BOTH black men AND black women. If she has not stated this, retracted these comments, and changed her tune, please let me know.

What irritates me is how many of us ladies are not taking consideration of what the TRUTH is and how this is all related to our history as black people. We as black people were the original man and were equipped with the knowledge of how to survive in all areas of life but now in this day in age we look to what caucasians have TOLD us is right.We as sistas have to stop worrying about what she gone say or what doesn't look right to somebody else and do what is best for our people as a whole

How are we responding, by saying that blame can be both addressed to men and women. What exactly is the TRUTH? Why is it assumed our feelings came from a caucasian perspective? Why would you assume we are worried about how we are going to look to other people. I learned a long time ago if a person has negative perceptions of black people based upon stereotypes, no matter what the stats say, what examples are in front of them, they will simply continue to choose to see us in a negative light. Why would treating women as secondary to men be helpful to the black community? I am not sure I understand that?

Our communities don't seem to be any better now and that comes from following what the caucasian has told us but let your own people try to provide information to us to help each of us benefit and no one wants to listen, no one stands up. Question: is if so many men agree with her why wouldn't sistas really take a serious look into this....why because of exactly what Shahrazad is speaking of in her book we are helping the black man to fail.

I agree, our communities are failing for the most part, but how are we following the caucasian ideal? There are many black men in this country who are angry, and black women make the perfect scape goat. We are to blame for out of wedlock births alone, the number of girls who get raped or exploited by men old enough to be their fathers, we are to blame when the whole community fails. We are to blame for black men not going to college, but rather jail. We have become the scapegoat alone for all the negatives in the black community. Why must we continue to be the blame, and why are SOME black men so quick to embrace this. Black women it seems in this country are alone, we have no one to embrace or protect us, but ourselves. That lends to the stereotype of the "strong black woman". White women are many times seen as victims, but black women can never be seen as the victim, as we are told we are the aggressor and the main problem to all our issues.

What is so wrong with uplifting black men? We are very strong as black women but we are too weak to admit when we are wrong and to take a stand for the Black nation as a whole.

Nothing is wrong with uplifting black men, but they cannot abscond from the blame of why the black community is failing. It is again due to black men and black women, not either or. I think many folks men and women have taken a stand for the "black nation", but when fingers are pointed, it always falls to the black woman. Why is that? Why are we going to college, earning careers, and raising children alone, and still being told by black men and some black women that we aren't doing our part to help the community. Where are the black fathers who helped make these babies, but left these women alone to raise them?

I know I have and I was unhappy and making my man unhappy but I know I wanted to be with him, but now I treat him like the King he is and was made to be, and he treats me like a Queen everyday.

That should happen with every relationship. My definition of King, might be different from yours though. I believe a relationship is 50/50. It is give and take. I cannot give 100%, while he just takes 100%, and I feel that as a black woman that is what happens many times with the men who share the views of Sharazad Ali.

And also you don't have to agree with everything someone says but do learn YOUR history and not what they want us to know.

I definitely understand that, black history isn't taught in schools. We are only taught about slavery and Jim Crow. I do think ALL races of people should be more aware of African American history, but alas we are assigned to one month out of the year, and then we go back to "regular history" which is heavily biased to whites and males. I think we should be aware of ALL history of ALL the people in this country.