Misconceptions of Race I Had As A Child

As a kid I was painfully aware of race from the time I started school. I would wonder about it, and I made assumptions that now seem weird, but it is how I saw race.

I thought there were no other races except white, black, and "chinese" (not asian,Chinese, and you could be Korean, Vietnamese, or Filipino, you were still Chinese when I was five). Most asian people I had met probably up until high school weren't Chinese, but rather Vietnamese and Filipino.

The first time I saw an asian person in real life I was 7 and I loudly pointed to a little asian girl around my age, and told my mother "Look, there's a real life Chinese girl!!!!" My mom was embarrassed, and told me not to point at people, and that they should be called asian, as we don't know what country they came from.

If you were anything else outside of the concept of white, black, or "chinese", you were just black. I remember watching Sesame Street, and Maria and Luis were black, just like Gordon, Susan, and Olivia. I figured they were the same color as some of my relatives, they must be black.

I thought all people, regardless of race had brown eyes. I never paid any attention, until a year or so after playing with my next door neighbor Jared, that white people had different color eyes aside from brown. I never noticed family members with blue or green eyes either until my brother was born.

I thought all babies were born white because my brother came out light skinned, with green eyes, and blonde hair. I thought they darkened up over time to become black, my brother did darken, he never achieved the brownish color of me and my parents, as a result I then assumed he must have been adopted, as I was not witness to the actual birth. I also assumed this because the bottom of my feet and the palm of my hands were white. They just didn't darken quite right.

I didn't understand the concepts of weaves and wigs on black women until almost high school, I thought people just had really long hair, and the braids down to their booty was normal hair.


Does Your Region Determine Racism?

So at this seminar I am going to, which has nothing to do with race, me and a couple of women had a discussion about race. I should note that these women were black. One of the ladies was from California, and someone asked her how she enjoyed Texas. She said it was hot, the people were friendly, but it seems that it is really racist here. The conversation continued on, but I couldn't help thinking is California less racist? I mean I think of Rodney King and say no, but I do know that the black people I do know from Cali seem to have a more idealistic view of race and race relations than let's say from me, who was born six miles from a sundown town, and was raised constantly reminded that I was different than the "norm". I mean most of those I know from Cali date IR, whereas IR is still seen as strange in this neck of the woods, in particular with black women and white men. Per some women IR is all the rage in California, and if I was into white guys I needed to move there as they were plentiful. I still managed to find one here in Dallas, but it was I admit slim pickings for the most part in terms of IR, most guys here at the time I was dating wasn't up to the challenge of stares and comments from strangers, friends, and family, not to mention here, blonde hair, blue eyed, stick thin, with fake boobs reigns supreme.

I know up on the east coast, there is a perception people in the south are all red necks, and we have not discovered central air and heat (is there a reason in every movie about the south, people are always sweating and drinking ice tea, even inside their own homes), but there is also a perception that whites down here are more racist, and then I think of thinks like Bensonhurst, Sean Bell, and Amadou Diallo. I know when I think of Florida, I never think of Miami, I always think of northern Florida with backwood rednecks. Or Mississippi, I always tend to think that the KKK is still out and about, even though I have no evidence of this. I think of Washington state as the white holy land, filled with neo nazis, but great coffee and lots of rain. Georgia I always think of Deliverance and the KKK.

So I am curious, does region really affect racism, or does it affect the type of racism?


Shopping to Avoid Heat

My A/C went out Friday, in 100 degree weather, so me and the family have been suffering with cheap box fans and ice to fight the heat. In Texas, every one has central A/C, if not you will die. Seriously. Box fans blow hot air really well, but me and the man decided to avoid the heat by shopping. So all was not lost. We provided the dogs and cat with tons of ice, water, and fans blowing hot air, and off we went.

Today was a great day. I was able to buy some hair products. If you read my other blog, you know about my product junkieism. I was also able to update my music collection. Well not really, I am still transferring items that I had on tape over to my ipod. I was able to get my "Until The End Of The World" soundtrack. The movie I was ok with, the soundtrack was AWESOME. It triggered my love of Nick Cave. One of my most favorite songs ever.Seriously. I promise to stop using "seriously" as a complete sentence. Seriously. Oops sorry.

Ill Love You Until The End Of The World - Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

I was totally in love with Nick Cave in 10th grade. I don't know why he looks kind of scary, but I still think his stuff is awesome. He is a very talented man, no matter if he looks scary or not.

Isn't this song awesome?

I was also able to buy a couple of books.

Then we proceeded to the movies. We went and saw the Dark Knight. It was pretty good. I am really losing myself, I haven't seen a indie or foreign film in a while. I need to rev up my Netflix to maintain my street cred.

Overall we managed to stay out until night time and it has cooled down, so the suffering is to a minimum. The high today was only 101 degrees. The temperature as I write this is only 85 degrees.


Black Men.......................

I like black men, I find some black men attractive. I have only dated a few black men in my life, but few black men have ever approached me, I always been approached by non black men, mostly hispanic and white. There are several reasons I like black men.

My father is black. My dad is awesome. He has been married to my mom for 35 years as of August. He is the coolest man ever, even though he will wear a throwback jersey with some khaki pants and a fanny pack while on vacation. He also shops exclusively at Eddie Bauer. Aside from that, he is awesome.

I've got an awesome brother. He is black too if you didn't know. Yes we have the same mother and father. My brother has asperger's (autism) and has managed to go to college and work full time. I know many men of all hues, who weren't able to do that.

I've got another awesome brother. He has only been my brother technically for 7 months, but he also happens to be my 2nd cousin, and he is 9 years old. He is scary smart, and very sweet. He will grow up to be an awesome black man.

My uncles, cousins, and grandfather are black. I have SEVERAL uncles, and the majority are good guys. Out of 13 uncles, I can say 10 are wonderful men. There are a few bad apples in every family, I don't count those as the representation of all black men. Even if they are divorced, or never married their "baby momma" they are active in their children's lives, work, and take care of themselves or their families.

The whole point of this post was to say what I have said a thousand times. My attraction to white men has nothing to do with black men. Black men do not equate into my life with my husband, or with any man I dated prior to my husband.

You shouldn't have to hate or stereotype people to justify why you are with your significant other.

For me to stereotype black men as one monolithic group, I would have to do the same for myself as a black woman.

As you guys may know this blog is a piggyback off of C1's controversial post on his blog. He had a little bit of craziness going on, and I literally just sat back and watched. It was becoming a mess. I had to personally remind myself the supposed black men posting don't represent ALL black men. I felt a reminder was needed, as some of that stuff over there was a hot mess. Kudos to C1 for limiting the censoring. It is hard to determine what constitutes censoring and what doesn't.

Did you ever get to listen to this stuff

I grew up on this. I think by law my father can't like folks unless they look like they could possibly be pimps. My father loves blues. He especially loves Buddy Ace

I grew up listening to Johnnie Taylor, and I just loved this song when I was five. How appropriate was it I listened to this song at age five?

Marvin Sease is a nasty old man, but I know all the words to Candy Licker, I am not going to lie:

Of course there is Bobby Blue Bland:

Millie Jackson is one nasty woman:

I love this song because it does the whole R. Kelly "sing talk" intro that is so prevalant in all these songs LOL R. Kelly took it further in that he has whole entire songs with "sing talk"

and finally I share with you KoKo Taylor, The Queen of Blues, who doesn't know this song:

All Bound For MuMu Land.........My Obsessions In The Late 80s, Early 90s

I LOVE TAMMY WYNETTE.......don't laugh. I LOVE KLF....again don't laugh, they started my love of techno......don't laugh

You all need some Snap

and some Technotronic....make sure to get your bicycle shorts out.

I got in trouble on a school choir trip singing this song, my choir teacher was uber conservative and religious and thought this song was blasphemy. I went to public school and sang nothing but Christian songs at competitions and programs. We also prayed daily. That was kind of messed up, what about the non Christian kids?


You loved this song......admit it, and you like that CoCo Chanel guitar...nothing says class like Chanel


Why Is It Sexy On Her, But Ugly On Me?

Angelina Jolie is considered a very sexy woman.She has what is considered "full lips". Full lips are the ulimate is sexiness now. People are willing to put collagen in their lips to achieve this look. We all want full lips like Angelina. Well I have full lips. When I was growing up,full lips, at least on me were called "big, greasy, n*gger lips". I don't think that was meant as sexy. No one even told me they were sexy or feminine, they just said big and gross.

Jennifer Lopez and Jessica Biel are applauded for their dierrieres. They have voluptuous and curvy figures. I have a "enhanced" dierriere. When I was growing up that was called being a "fat ass". Not sexy, just gross and fat. I used to beg for a pancake ass and no thighs. I was 115 lbs soaking wet, with my ribs sticking out thinking I was fat because my booty was "ample". Oh the days of black girl anorexia, where 800 calories and an hour or two of working out was done in vain to get rid of a butt and thighs.

I remember growing up watching Bo Derek in "10". Her cornrows made her a sex symbol. Cornrows on me were just another "black, crazy, hairstyle".

Why do we have this double standard? Why is it what is pretty on those lighter than me, is considered ugly on my dark skin?

Why is ok to have "black" attributes, but not ok to be black?

More Fun With Jovent

A couple of weeks ago, I received a nice email from JoVent. JoVent has struck again with more words of encouragement. This time, I decided to create a filter that would ensure all emails from JoVent would go directly to trash.

I am too tired right now. We went to Houston this weekend to visit the grandparents. Yes we opted to stay at the Marriott, so our roach encounters were limited to only three huge super roaches. One came right at me like it was going to eat me in front of my husband's grandparents, aunt, and uncles. The grandmother feels her ridex should fix this roach problem. I think her only hope is an exterminator. These roaches are full grown. These ain't babies, they have been alive for years to be so HUGE.Needless to say even in the nice, bug free Marriott, I keep getting scared of roaches on me.

On our way home we were sitting in traffic due to a bad accident in 102 degree weather, so my car at this perfect time started overheating. We were able to pull off the side of the road to check for leaks, nothing. No steam, no issues, but when we started back up after cooling down, more overheating yay. Guess what? We had to spend ANOTHER night in Houston, this time at a LaQuinta not to far from where we pulled off. Why LaQuinta, it was either here, or a no name hotel. You know I like to pretend I am rich when it comes to hotels, but NOPE I am roughing it at a LaQuinta, at least the LaQuinta is new, and only two exits from a Nissan dealership with a service department, which on Sundays is CLOSED. So we will get it checked tomorrow morning. What fun. Note, I have been able to post comments all weekend due to a blackberry and my husband's PC (uuuggghhhh, where is my Mac) laptop. Just FYI LaQuinta offers free WiFi. My blog addiction continues.

Anyway here is some great prose from our BFF JoVent. My response was much shorter this time, I thought with his infinite whiteness, JoVent would be able to read my last email, but that was too much like right. We now just give flippant, sarcastic responses.

from JoVent@aol.com
to siditty@gmail.com
date Sun, Jul 20, 2008 at 10:02 PM
subject Black People Are Dumb and Ugly
mailed-by aol.com

hide details 10:02 PM (3 hours ago)


There are an estimated 1.5 million Black men in prison and another 3.5 million on probation. Black males make up more than 70 percent of the total prison population, even though they make up only 6 percent of the U.S. population.
Although blacks are 12% of the population in reality it is just 2% of the blacks that commit 50% of the murders and a greater percentage of other crimes. Consider: black females - 6%. Blacks from zero yrs. to 12 yrs. and black males from 50-100 years commit an infinitesimal percentage of the crimes. Therefore we are left with two percent. If we eliminate crimes committed by this two percent from the U.S. statistics our country compares very favorably with all Western countries. Fact -- blacks kill 7 times more than whites kill. Fact -- blacks kill whites 20 times more than whites kill blacks. Fact -- blacks mug or commit group crime against whites 50 times more than whites commit against blacks. Fact -- blacks rape white women 2000 (yes 2000) times more than whites rape black women. In New York City, about 300 white women are raped by blacks every year BUT there has not been a black woman raped by a white male in anybody’s memory (going back over 20 yrs.) Consider: Al Sharpton had to go upstate New York to find a hoax and that was almost 20 years ago. (Source NYT 4/22/05)

According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics 2004 report (released May 2006), blacks commit 54 percent of the homicides in America even though they constitute only 12 percent of the population.

An individual black male is seven times more likely to commit murder than an individual white male. It so happens that black felons commit 43 percent of aggravated assaults, 66 percent of armed robberies, 27 percent of rapes and 85 percent of interracial crimes of violence, mainly against whites (this last figure from a Justice Department report 2003). However, it's not just in the United States. The greatest dicators in recent years have emerged in Africa. People like Idi Amin of Uganda, Hastings Kamuzu Banda in Malawi, Mobutu Sese Seko, in Zaire, self-anointed Emperor Bokassa of the Central African Republic, Mohammed Saidi Barre in Somalia, Sani Abacha of Nigeria, Robert Mugabe in Zimbabwe -- the list is endless.

Blacks are dumber as well, statistics analyzed by the New York Times (July 4, 1999) dispel the poverty argument by establishing that impoverished white children whose parents earn less than $10,000 a year score higher on standardized SAT tests than black children whose parents earn more than $70,000 a year. Also, nearly 70 percent of black children are born out of wedlock.

from Siditty
to JoVent@aol.com
date Mon, Jul 21, 2008 at 1:35 AM
subject Re: Black People Are Dumb and Ugly
mailed-by gmail.com

hide details 1:35 AM (1 minute ago)


Uuuhhhhmmmm didn't we already have this conversation? Are you unable to read and comprehend with all your infinite white power and smarts?


How Did You Get Your Man?

I get this question a lot via email. The answer is I really don't know. I lucked out. I ended up with a really smart, nice guy, who is patient with me, and does well for himself. I guess I will just tell you how I got the one guy I married.

My husband is my first real adult relationship. I had dated guys for a couple of months at a time, but this guy was the first guy I really dated, and he is one of the few men who have actually professed their love for me. He is my only long term relationship. He is the only man I have lived with.

With that disclaimer. Here goes.

My husband had a crush on me, he is shy. I am not. I pursued him. I put myself out there to get shot down. It worked out. I am the more aggressive person in the relationship. He and I started talking, we talked about going out on a date. I actually scheduled the date, and was very persistent. My husband actually cancelled our first date, he didn't have enough money. I offered to pay, he refused, we scheduled at his next scheduled pay period. I know s a black woman, especially one who dates IR, nice white men don't knock down my door to ask me out. You find one who likes you, you go for it.

Speaking of pay, I wasn't bothered he was only making $13/hour. It didn't bother me he was not banking six figures because I knew he was really smart, and he had just started in his career. He was also in college. He is now an IT consultant, that job taught him how to be good at his current job. IT consultants make more than $13 per hour. I figure as long as a guy makes an effort and he isn't just sitting on his ass, it should work out great. Also note our first date was at a Cheddar's, which is about on par with a Chili's or Friday's. I knew not to expect five star dining or that we would be hanging out at only upscale establishments. Maybe because I am not too much into status, money doesn't bother me, as long as you can live comfortably, it is all good. I am not about going out on a date at the soup kitchen (unless it is a cutesy, let's volunteer to help the homeless kind of thing), but I don't need anything too fancy.

Even though we have absolutely nothing in common and he isn't necessarily someone I would hang out with as a friend, doesn't mean he doesn't make a great friend and husband. Music, clothes, lifestyle, ideals, you name it, we have nothing in common. Even though we have nothing in common, he is a really sweet guy. He is very patient with me, and he says sorry, even when he shouldn't to keep the peace. He is a saint, and we manage. It gets a bit frustrating at times that we have to compromise on doing things, but for the most part it works out.....at least I think :) I guess I am saying, keep your options open.

OK I know I look just like a supermodel and should expect the same, but regular guys who aren't pretty boys make for great partners. Pretty boys are what I dated before I met my husband. We could go shopping together, they could be complete jerks, and they weren't open to monogamy because they had options. My husband although very cute is more of a guy's guy. He shaves and cuts his hair because I make him. He isn't into fashion or status, and I have to encourage him to clip his toe nails. Even though it can get on your nerves to follow after a man about his hygiene, at least I know where he is every night, he is with me, he isn't on the prowl, and he is overall not into looking for women. I have dated pretty boys, pretty boys have too many options, and they get a bit wrapped up in expanding their options, which isn't good for long term relationships. I can overlook my husband's flaws, as he was able to overlook my flaws, and I have several. Commitment isn't a bad thing to regular guys, to many pretty boys, commitment is on par with death. When I quit dating pretty boys, I received commitment. Coincidence? I think not.

In terms of commitment, a great test to prove how committed a guy can be, tell him about three months into the relationship, very nonchalantly that he is going to marry you. If he doesn't run, he will actually marry you. Trust me on this, I know.

Another thing, hold out on sex. Don't sex up men on the first date. Guys want girls who are willing to wait. One night stands have sex on the first date. Girlfriends date before they mate. Let me embarrass myself by saying my husband was the one who wanted to wait. I was the fast ass hussy trying to hook up. I didn't know how the grown folks dating game worked. I know I am a hoochie.

Anyway that is how I got my man. The timing was good we hooked up, and got married. I hope this helps. This is not the rules of dating, but rather guidelines, there is no one way to "get a man"


Dating White Guys and Being a Black Racist

Today I received an email from someone who felt that I was a black racist. They felt I was too bitter and angry (I get that a lot because of my blog title), and felt I was completely racist against white people. Then they asked me a question that made me think. If I wasn't married now, would I date, get into a relationship with, or marry a white guy. The question simply should be yes. In all respects, I have always dated white guys, even before my husband, I am normally attracted to white guys, as that is what I am surrounded by, and have been the majority of my life. I think about this and would like to say I would be open to any and every race of man, as long as he was attractive, intelligent, and just an all round good guy, but I honestly don't know.

As I have stated in other postings I sometimes get militant. I get angry, I feel race relations suck, and I hold some prejudices against white people, I am not saying it is right, it just happens. I don't like to think I am a full time racist, but since on this blog I do talk about race a lot, I think about it a lot. Especially since the Cheesecake Factory incident. I have wondered if that incident would have happened if I was dating, rather than living and married to my husband, would I have written him off. I know I had written off a few white guys in my time for similar situations. I also know, at least where I live, I am not what is considered attractive by most white guys. I am too dark and "ethnic" looking in comparison to the blonde, blue eyed ideal that is prevalent. I would look ridiculous trying to attain that look, so I am in the background. A few guys would be interested sexually, but I think most white men in my area aren't open to dating black women, unless they are lighter hued. So I would probably be dateless in most situations, unless I was open to one night stands or purely sexual relationships.

Maybe I am angry, but if Cillian Murphy approached me, maybe my racial hang ups would never reoccur. The blue eyes would hypnotize me.

Sometimes I think race is such an issue for me because I don't fit in anywhere. I don't fit in with whites because I don't look like them, but I don't necessarily fit in with blacks, because of my white surroundings. When I am around white people I can't forget I am black, when I am around black people, I can't forget I am different. I think it has to an extent caused some confusion in my life at times, but it seems as I get older I become more and more aware of race, and at times very bitter about it. Who knows. I haven't been single since I was 23, so I don't know how I would perceive life as a single person race or not.

Keeping White Privilege Is Important

I recently read a posting over at feministe about being Jewish and white. The poster was upset because some of her acquaintances did not see her as white, but Jewish, even though her skin and her physical characteristics are white in appearance.

All I could think was, is white privilege that important that you must assert your whiteness? Is it an insult to be other than white? If people perceive you to be "other" does it diminish yourself as a person and how you see yourself in society?I am confused as to why if racism per so many is gone or is not as prevalent, why is her whiteness or perceived whiteness so important? She goes into a long story explaining the history of Eastern European Jews and how there was a campaign against them from Eugenicists to prove them less than white. I understand the campaign, which maligned many other races and groups as well is offensive, but why in this day and age is she upset someone might not assume she is white?

Why is it she feels that it is now important to self identify, rather than have people do it for her? No matter what I do, my blackness is defined. It doesn't matter how of mixed race I am, my skin shows black and people make all types of assumptions about me based upon color, and it doesn't matter what others think, if I were to do that, me and many other blacks would have just given up (which many in my opinion have, again my theory on Jim Crow and the legacy of slavery causing many blacks to have undiagnosed PTSD, explaining many of the issues within the black community, I will blog about that later).


Hhhhmmmmmm What Do We Make of This?

Let's see:

  • Michelle and Barack have a picture of Bin Laden above the fireplace mantle.
  • They are burning the American flag
  • Barack is in "traditional" Muslim Wear
  • Michelle is militant, with a gun, and instead of her relaxed hair, she has now decided for an afro, because you know an afro is practically screaming from the rooftops "BLACK POWER"

When I Wish Feminism Would Go Out The Window

As most of you know, I was raised with my father. My parents were married, and even though my father traveled a lot, when he was home, he worked from home, so I was around him a lot. He taught me to fish, change tires, change my oil. He was the one who mowed the lawn, washed the cars, fixed things around the house. He played video games with me, helped me in basketball and softball practice, taught me how football worked. Even though my mom did most of the cooking and housework, my father helped. He even on occasion tried to do my hair, it wasn't like my mom, but he tried.

My husband was raised pretty much by his mother. He knew his father, but they weren't close, and he could go months at a time without seeing him. His dad never took him fishing, played video games with him, did sports, or anything of that sort. My husband's fondest memories of his father are watching Knight Rider with him. That is about all he remembers of what his dad did with him. Even though my husband is awesome, it is sometimes painfully obvious he didn't have his father, and I get frustrated with him.

My husband doesn't change oil. He doesn't mow the lawn, he has no idea about lawn maintenance. If something is wrong with the house, it is my job to do it or we have to call someone. I don't do my own oil changes or change my own tires because he feels it is man's work, but then he doesn't do it, and we waste money to have others do it. He doesn't cook, and he doesn't help with housework. He doesn't fish, he doesn't play sports, but he does like to watch basketball and football. I sometimes wish he liked to go to the park, go hiking, take up bike riding, or running, and not have all his hobbies involve a computer, cartoons, electronics, or video games. He wants the male role around the house, but he doesn't really do it. This is where my feminist brain turns off and I get upset. I wish sometimes he did do the "man" things, or at least some of the "women" things. He works, I understand that, but he can help around the house too, and when I was working he didn't help either. I did the laundry, cooked the meals, take the animals to the vet. I fix the slow drains and clogs, I am the one who can fix the stopped up toilet if it takes more than a plunger to fix. I plant the trees, I edge the lawn, trim the bushes, and sometime I wish he would bother to learn to do these things. I understand he doesn't know how, but since it isn't any interest to him, he doesn't care to, and it doesn't matter if our yard looks like a damn jungle to him.

This is when I wish I wasn't a damn feminist. The "you can do it all" notion gets on my nerves. Why can't we both do it all? Why is it just me?

Dancing And Clubs

So the other night I asked my husband, why I can't go dancing with girlfriends. I get my once year to the club chance, but other than that, it is a big fat no. Usually I go to the gay club with my girlfriends. I am not allowed to go to the gay club with gay guys, as they might be tricking me and not be gay. As if. Anyway my husband's refusal for my need to go to a club and dance is because guys go to clubs to pick up chicks. I actually go to dance. I like to dance. It is fun to me, I suck at it, I dance like Carlton, but I still like to do it.

When I go to the club, if I go with my friends we usually do the girl corner and just dance with ourselves, we aren't trying to pick up men, so I don't understand his fears of me and clubs. Clubs are the worst places to pick up people in my opinion. The darkness hides ugliness too well and it is too loud to have a decent conversation. To be honest when I go to the club, I realize it is crowded, it smells like cigarette smoke, and the people there are reflective of the typical Dallasite, label obsessed, fake, and pretentious, the $30K millionaires. But clubs are the only place aside from home where I can dance. My options are limited.

I still like to dance, and just FYI my husband won't dance with me in public or private. He abhors the thought of dancing so much that at our wedding he would not dance. Our "First Dance" wedding photo was staged.

* Not a fan of Dane Cook, but this piece is totally appropriate for this post.


Confederate States of America

The Confederate States of America is a movie about modern day America if the Confederacy had won. Many people claim the Confederacy would have eventually gotten rid of slavery. I personally don't think so, the movie tends to agree. Here are a few clips from the movie. Things would have been vastly different in terms of America's influence on the rest of the world though.

Note: Some of these commercials are for products that actually existed in America.

Coon Chicken Inn

Newsbreak and Contrari Commercial

Darkie Toothpaste

The Confederate Version of "Cops"

Now this is a real commercial, no lie:


Toccara Jones-Normal Size Girls Get Their Due

Toccara is or was considered a plus size model, but now she is in the special "Black Issue" of Italian Vogue. It is nice to see a woman who isn't stick thin able to model in the big time.

She has a very "classic beauty" look to her. Very gorgeous. She reminds me of Sophia Loren. Back in the day, models could have thighs and boobs, now it seems shunned.

I might have to quit being feminist like and break down and buy this issue.


It's That Time of The Year

So me and the husband are planning to visit the grandparents. I have written about this in the past. I love his grandparents, but I don't love where we sleep. Last time I think we did the right thing and opted to stay at a hotel. I know this sounds mean, but the grandparents are very sweet and loving, but the fights with roaches, bugs, and rashes are not so sweet. Awaking in the middle of the night with bugs crawling on your face in bed, not cute. Breaking out into a horrible rash is also not cute, and fighting a big ass water bug aka roach is not cute either. Thankfully, someone else has informed them of the uncomfortable fold out sofa bed, but no one has informed them of the shower faucet you have to position just right to keep from leaking, the constant use and lack of cleaning of the shower that goes on in the guest quarters, and the bug issue.

So last time we stayed at a vey nice hotel. I love Hotel Icon. It is in a nice area, fairly quiet, and quite trendy. We will not be staying there again, as we are trying to save money, not blow it, but we will opt for a nice Marriott. I don't think I am too picky. We got a good deal, and it isn't 5 star, but I can handle it. If you don't know when I travel I like to pretend I am rich. This time we plan to travel as if we are middle class. I wanted to stay at the Magnolia, as that is one of my favorite hotels, but my husband being my husband felt that the distance was too far, and free milk and cookies should not sway my choice in hotel.

This time I hope the visit will be uneventful, as his family has a way of saying things they shouldn't say. I also hope that no one assumes I am dating my husband's mentally challenged uncle. For some reason people like to mistake me as his caregiver/girlfriend. It is beyond comprehension my husband could be married to me for some folks. It makes perfect sense for me to be married to a man with the mind of an 8 year old.

Something Light

I got some more stuff, but I thought we would try something a bit more light. Here is a Dave Chappelle skit.

The Racist Test

What is wrong with Rev. Jackson?

Sometimes it is best to sit down and stay quiet, Jesse!!!

Rev Jackson sorry for Obama jibe

US civil rights leader the Rev Jesse Jackson has apologised for "regretfully crude" remarks he made about Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama.

In a reference to Mr Obama, Mr Jackson on had said on US Fox News: "I want to cut his nuts off", not knowing his comments were picked up by a live microphone.

Mr Jackson had said he thought Mr Obama was "speaking down to black people".
The reverend said he was "very sorry for any harm" and that he had "deep and wide" support for the Obama campaign.
Mr Jackson has been a key civil rights campaigner and was unsuccessful when running for the Democratic presidential nomination in 1984.

'Moral content'

Mr Jackson was talking to a guest ahead of a live interview on Fox on Sunday in Chicago when he made the remarks.
He was discussing the question of Mr Obama's speeches on morality that the presidential candidate had made in black churches.

He said he thought there were other key issues facing the black community, such as unemployment and crime.
The reverend added: "See, Barack been, um, talking down to black people on this faith based... I want to cut his nuts off... Barack... he's talking down to black people."
Mr Jackson said he had called the Obama campaign to apologise "for any harm or hurt that this hot mic private conversation may have caused".

"My support for Senator Obama's campaign is wide, deep and unequivocal."
Mr Jackson said he was trying to appeal to Mr Obama for "the moral content of his message to not only deal with the personal and moral responsibility of black males, but to deal with the collective moral responsibility of government and the public policy".

A spokesman for the Obama campaign, Bill Burton, said the presidential candidate would "continue to speak out about our responsibilities to ourselves and each other, and he of course accepts Reverend Jackson's apology".
Mr Obama has had a number of problems with clergymen during his election campaign.
In May he said he was "deeply disappointed" with a sermon by supporter Rev Michael Pfleger, who suggested presidential rival Hillary Clinton had felt "entitled" to beat Mr Obama because she was white.

Earlier, Mr Obama denounced the claim by Rev Jeremiah Wright, who officiated at his wedding and baptised his daughters, that the 9/11 attacks were an example of "America's chickens coming home to roost".


Racist or Misunderstanding?

If I were to look at recent news and form my opinions of the Japanese, I would say they were obsessed with white people and thought black people look like monkeys. Maybe I am overreacting?

Monkey ad apparently portraying Obama pulled
July 3, 2008 Recommend (14)

A television ad featuring a monkey that appears to portray Sen. Barack Obama has been pulled by a Japanese cell phone company.

The ad shows a crowd cheering as a well-dressed monkey speaks at a podium.

The people are waving signs that say "Change." The monkey encourages users to change providers.

The company that aired the ad, eMobile Ltd., said it had no idea of any racial undertones and insisted the ad was an acknowledgement of Obama's popularity.

Eric Gan, president of eMobile, said their company's mascot is a monkey -- an animal revered in Japan -- and has been used in previous ads.

But bloggers immediately voiced their disapproval of the ad and accused the company of being racist.

Gan said the company was unaware of how the ad might be interpreted.


Black People Contribute So Much

I on occasion get emails from people who read the blog or other comments I post on other blogs. This is one such email. I would usually ask the person to post their email, but hey you sent it to me, it is mine and I don't really care for this person. They spout the same tired stats to prove why whites are better than blacks, but can't really use common sense and logic.

from JoVent@aol.com
to siditty@gmail.com
date Tue, Jul 8, 2008 at 3:24 AM
subject Black People Contribute So Much
mailed-by aol.com
hide details 3:24 AM (3 hours ago)


Although blacks are 12% of the population blacks commit 50% of the murders and a greater percentage of other crimes. Consider: black females - 6%. Blacks from zero yrs. to 12 yrs. and black males from 50-100 years commit an infinitesimal percentage of the crimes. Therefore we are left with two percent. If we eliminate crimes committed by this two percent from the U.S. statistics our country compares very favorably with all Western countries. Fact -- blacks kill 7 times more than whites kill. Fact -- blacks kill whites 20 times more than whites kill blacks. Fact -- blacks mug or commit group crime against whites 50 times more than whites commit against blacks. Fact -- blacks rape white women 2000 (yes 2000) times more than whites rape black women. In New York City, about 300 white women are raped by blacks every year BUT there has not been a black woman raped by a white male in anybody’s memory (going back over 20 yrs.) Consider: Al Sharpton had to go upstate New York to find a hoax and that was almost 20 years ago. (Source NYT 4/22/05)

According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics 2004 report (released May 2006), blacks commit 54 percent of the homicides in America even though they constitute only 12 percent of the population.

An individual black male is seven times more likely to commit murder than an individual white male. It so happens that black felons commit 43 percent of aggravated assaults, 66 percent of armed robberies, 27 percent of rapes and 85 percent of interracial crimes of violence, mainly against whites (this last figure from a Justice Department report 2003). However, it's not just in the United States. The greatest dicators in recent years have emerged in Africa. People like Idi Amin of Uganda, Hastings Kamuzu Banda in Malawi, Mobutu Sese Seko, in Zaire, self-anointed Emperor Bokassa of the Central African Republic, Mohammed Saidi Barre in Somalia, Sani Abacha of Nigeria, Robert Mugabe in Zimbabwe -- the list is endless.

Blacks are dumber as well, statistics analyzed by the New York Times (July 4, 1999) dispel the poverty argument by establishing that impoverished white children whose parents earn less than $10,000 a year score higher on standardized SAT tests than black children whose parents earn more than $70,000 a year. Also, nearly 70 percent of black children are born out of wedlock.

My response:

from Siditty
to JoVent@aol.com
date Tue, Jul 8, 2008 at 7:29 AM
subject Re: Black People Contribute So Much
mailed-by gmail.com
hide details 7:29 AM (0 minutes ago)


Well aren't you smart, you are good at twisting statistics. Where did you get them, from Stormwatch?

For all those crime stats did you ever stop to think that black people have more access to white people than white people to blacks? Think about it, your "people" have the option to have limited contact with blacks, as they are greater in numbers in this country compared to blacks. Blacks have to interact with white people, even if they live in an all black neighborhood they are more than likely to have white law enforcement, white bosses and coworkers, white teachers, etc. They have more access to whites, and since whites typically make more than black people, white people for those who commit crime make easier targets than blacks. Did you ever stop to think about that?

We make up less than 12% of the population, white people make up 74% of the population. So white people have to actively seek out black people to commit crimes against, black people don't. Your lack of common sense astounds me.

In terms of white and black rape. You do realize white men have been raping black women for centuries in this country. The reason we had miscegenation laws were because of the prevalence of white men impregnating black women, not the other way around, only until the mid to late 1800's was there a fear of black men raping white women. Why is that?

In terms of why black men are able to rape white women in greater numbers than white men to black women, again it is access, greater numbers of whites than blacks. If you want a recent case of white men and white women raping a black woman, please research the Megan Williams case. She was raped and tortured for days on end, and not one single assailant was black, imagine that.

In terms of dictators have you never heard of Mussolini, Hitler, Francisco Franco, Josip Broz Tito, Saparmyrat Niyazov, or Augusto Pinochet? Hint, they were not black. However did you ever stop think of all these African dictators you have posted that they ran countries in a state of disarray after years of oppression and dogmatic rule by European countries? These dictators based their rule on what they knew, and it was the European occupancy that preceded them. Did you ever stop to think of that?

In terms of the IQ gap and being "dumber", explain to me why blacks in the early years of their educaton, grade school, score on par with their white counterparts? It is only in high school where you see the difference. Could it be the glaring discrepancies in between the resources and the experiences of teachers in predominantly black schools vs. white schools? Your IQ is affected by your environment. Me and my brother went to "white schools" that had way more resources and more seasoned teachers. Inner city blacks don't have that opportunity, and I graduated in the top 10% of my high school class. Also you might want to research a study done in the 1970s called the Chitlin Test. Black students overwhelmingly outscored whites in this test. IQ is still being debated on whether it is genetic or due to environment or both. If it is environmental that explains the discrepancies.

I wasn't born out of wedlock, neither was my mother, my father, my brother. I know more fatherless white children than black children, of course I also know more white people as the numbers tend to show you are a larger portion of the population.

In all these stats you spewed, can you tell me the sample size given? You are quoting a newspaper and not a journal for the majority of your stats. The only legitimate stats you could have given came from the DOJ, which how do I know you actually looked up versus receiving them from some of your racist buddies?


I love Jon Stewart

I Don't Know What To Make Of This: 2+2=5

I found this video on youtube, and someone equated the pigs to white people and the cows or bulls to black people. I say it is more of a class thing. The pigs representing the upper class, and the bulls representing the middle class and poor.


You Think Your Better Than People Because You.......

Today on another blog, I got the "You think your better than people because you......" comment today in response to me responding to someone who on a consistent basis has offended me with his thinly veiled stereotypes and comments on why he this his wife is a "magical negro." As he has explained in numerous postings his wife came from a family of evil.

Here is the comment:

You need to get over that suburban black being better than inner city black attitude. I sort of got the feeling that you were better than that. But let me tell you this...the same way that you refer to his wife as ghetto trash, you are considered trash as well. I dont care about how "WHITE" you sound or the fact that you have a white husband or the fact that you are from the suburbs... In fact, I guarantee that you have been considered trash by some of those white boys that you "LOVE" so much. It would only take a heated argument for it to come out. You need to get over yourself.

I never once said that I was better than an inner city black. I have no clue if his wife is an inner city black, which to me speaks volumes on this persons insecurity. I have dealt with this my whole life, and I don't really understand it. I also want to note that a "It would only take a heated argument for it to come out. You need to get over yourself." speaks volumes. Never once have I said I am better than anyone. I see myself as damaged goods, not because of where I live or where I come from, but I as I said to someone via email the other day, I don't fit in. I am "too black" to be white, "too white" to be black. I talk and act too white, but I look too black. It confuses people, they keep their distance. In terms of my "superiority" coming out in a heated argument, why would you expect anything to come out? Why would you expect me to do anything? Was an opinion already formed in your mind and this was your chance to pounce?

Also note, I will proudly proclaim to anyone I am one generation removed from the "ghetto" and the country. I said this at the other blog, I will say it here, being poor does not automatically mean ghetto, nor does being wealthy equate to having class. If I felt that way, I would have to disown members of my own family, including my grandparents and some uncles and aunts. I don't do that. I love my family, even the ones who have hurt me. The ones who make fun of the way I talk. That did the "I told you she was white" when I married my husband. The ones who told my mother that she was going to get knocked off her pedestal and just because she married my father, got a degree, and moved her kids into a "white area" didn't mean she wasn't black any more, and that the white people would always think of her as a "n*gger."

Hell, to be honest those family members do have a point, no one ever forgets I am black with my dark skin, curly black hair, broad nose, and full lips. Even when I went through my period of "discovering my blackness", when I tried to assimilate with black folks, I still couldn't. Per some I still "acted white", and I was told by one girl I sound liked a white girl talking black when I tried to sound "more ethnic."

Some of the reasons for my I think I am better than others would kill me as well. Some of the best were

....Because you got good hair (I had everything to do with my hair texture)
....Because you have a daddy.
....Because you went to college.
....Because you live in a brick house (that was from some country folk)
....Because you talk to white folks (hello I had no choice, unless I wanted to be alone and have no friends)

I can't win. My parents received this type of treatment at times. They often would get the "forgot where you came from speeches" when money wouldn't be loaned after the first three loans initially given were never paid back. When they wouldn't pay for the whole tab, or put money on books for folks in jail. When crack heads would ask to come over while unsupervised.

I want to note, my father fought tooth and nail to prove he was still in the neighborhood. My dad ran agriculture programs (yes my father is in agriculture) for the teens in the neighborhood he grew up in. Sought interns from his alma mater, Prairie View A&M. My mother quit her job teaching in the suburbs to go to an inner city school, she wanted to make a difference. These are not people who moved off and became ashamed of their upbringing, but they were no longer black enough because they didn't live in the heart of the "ghetto" or "poverty" they once came from.

How does one fit in, how does one prove themselves to be "normal"?

****Disclaimer***** To make sure that people don't think I am twisting comments or words and quotes, you can see the quote that inspired the whole transaction in it's entirety on C1`s blog. Please do not go there to derail his topic, if you want to yell at me and tell me how horrible I am come here to do it. He made a great post and I do not want to deflect from that. Also note that the quote did not come from the person I was talking to, but rather someone wanting to defend him.


You're Good Enough To Screw, But Not Good Enough To Date or Marry

As a black woman, at least for me growing up, I was told by my parents, and by friends, both black and white that a white guy will screw you, but they will never ever marry you. I disproved that theory with my husband, but as some people can attest in my previous post and in my own personal experience, I find people who hold this belief near and dear to their heart.

I have had the dreaded "How Much?" question come from white and hispanic men. The first few times I looked in confusion and ran away. If you ask me now, you will likely get cursed out. I don't think I dress all that "sexy" in everyday life. I didn't know converse, t-shirt, and jeans were prostitute gear. Even when I wear shorts and skirts, trust me with my husband, they are outdoor appropriate. It never ever seems to happen when I am "dressed sexy", like when I would go to a club or some night spot, but rather in broad daylight in downtown Dallas or when I am in "less savory" neighborhoods. Man walk up behind you, or pull up by you in cars and ask that question. When I do go to the nightclub or night spot, instead of the "do you want to dance question", you get the "Will you dance for me, I will give you $50 bucks" question. I am not at a strip club, but rather a regular run of the mill night club, and I don't think I have ever offered anyone a table dance. To be realistic, I can't really dance, I wouldn't know how to table dance to obtain the $50.

So why is it I and other black women get this question. Of course this isn't an everyday occurrence, but you do wonder why is it assumed I am open for business, when in reality I walk down the street. I once asked my husband this. He says it is a combination of three things. Assholism, idol worship, and outdated stereotypes.

The first reason is obvious. Some men are assholes. They just have no home training, and they think money will give them access to everything. They can be old, fat, ugly, and lack personality, but they feel money gives them the right to be complete jerks. These men assume that $50 will mesmerize you. These are the men I have referenced back in older in posts, they feel that you should be open to giving them oral sex in a fast food parking lot because they bought you a happy meal.

My husband readily admits on our first date, he was very mesmerized by my ass, he is an ass man and has no qualms about it. He worships ass. He wants me to aspire to be Buffie the Body, but I don't think my butt can get that big. He can to this day 9 years later tell me every detail of the dress I wore, he loved the dress. He still asks me to wear the dress, which now would look dated and completely out of style. He also thinks I "switch" my butt when I walk. I admit this happens, but I do have a big ass, I can help that it moves from side to side when I walk. It is not completely obvious, I don't purposely do it, but you have to focus on my ass to notice. He admits he focuses on my ass a lot. I definitely understand how if a man is looking at your ass. So he feels they notice and get mesmerized and lose their mind. I don't know if my bootie is all that, but some men it doesn't take much. I guess if you are willing to pay for sex, you probably don't have high standards, just be able to breathe and expose body parts and these men are excited.

In terms of stereotypes. We have all heard the "black women are easy", "black women are wild in bed", and "black women know how to move" stereotypes. Even though as black girls we are told it was white girls who were easy and would do things black girls wouldn't. White folks were told the opposite. I know white guys who attempted to date me and dating me involved not dinner and a movie, but going back to their place. I was dateless a lot in high school because of this. I was not going to be an afterschool special on ABC. I knew better. In college as well this often happened. Guys who wanted girls, but never in public , only in private. I honestly thought for a long time the only way I was going to date a white guy was to screw him first, so I was a bit put off by white guys for a while and remained dateless.

All in all a lethal combination of these three things cause some men to act a damn fool.


More Asian and White Love?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!

I swiped this from The Fighting 44s.

So a while back we had a heated debate on Asian women here. How they are viewed as the ideal minority here in America, and how it is perfectly acceptable in mainstream society for a white man to have an asian girlfriend or partner and no one blinks an eye to it.

Now I found this. Apparently in Japan this restaurant is all the rage. Asian women getting served by "Western"(i.e. white men). Apparently the owner of the place questioned what Asian women wanted, and they said "Western" men. Then stereotypes flew. Asian men apparently aren't capable of being gentlemen like Western men are. Apparently "Western" men are "smoother" and make them feel special more than Japanese men as well.

I wonder how well this will go over in America?

Insomnia Strikes Again

I went to bed around 11:00 tonight, at around 2:00 am I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep. My cure for insomnia for tonight, is a sleeping pill, some video surfing, and watching "Critters". Dee Wallace Stone is an American Institution. Scott Grimes is now on ER. I didn't even know the show still came on. He apparently also aspires to be the next Bruce Springsteen. Note in the picture with Mr. Grimes is Alyssa Milano. Just wondering does anyone else remember Teen Steam, the Alyssa Milano workout video? I do.

Note that Alyssa and her work out cohorts look of average weight. Of course it could be the spandex. Spandex made everyone look bigger. If this video (ok it would be on DVD or available on iTunes now) was to be released now, they would make those girls go on a diet of cigarettes, cocaine, and raw carrots as they would now be deemed as too fat, and if that didn't work gastric bypass surgery.

The trailer for the high budget cinematic masterpiece Critters:

Some Faithless to describe my condition......I can't get no sleep.


The Feeling Of Relief

Here in Dallas we have had a string of seemingly random shootings on our highways. A man in a dark colored compact car just started shooting folks while driving. He actually shot at a woman yesterday on a road I was driving on at the time of the shooting. Per the news there have been six victims since Sunday. They finally apprehended the perpetrator of the vehicle. His name is Thai-An Huu Nguyen. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw the name. Why? Because I knew he wasn't black.

Often times when we see the news, it is death, crime, and anything and everything that can scare the hell out of you. That is how they get ratings. Part of this is perpetuating stereotypes and spinning stories to create a nice formulaic story to get those great ratings. Many times we see crime, we see black people. We see victims, we see white people. In my mind I knew the perpetrator of this crime was not a black man, they would have given out his description as such, instead they gave out a vague description of a man driving a dark colored compact car, race wasn't mentioned.

Am I wrong to feel relief that this story can't reinforce racist stereotypes? That this man wasn't the usual statistic we associate with black men? Does this make me a racist for feeling this way?

In another bit of local news, Patrick Waller is now the 19th person wrongly convicted in Dallas county for a crime he didn't commit. He has spent 15 years in prison. The men who actually committed the crime will not spend a day in prison because the statute of limitations has run out.

Are We This Desensitized That We Don't Care? Esmin Green

Death on psych ward leads to reforms
N.Y. hospital staff ignored patient as she lay dying

David B. Caruso, Associated Press
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
(07-02) 04:00 PDT New York - --

City hospital officials agreed in court Tuesday to implement reforms at a psychiatric ward where surveillance footage showed a woman falling from her chair, writhing on the floor and dying as workers failed to help for more than an hour.

Esmin Green, 49, had been waiting in the emergency room for nearly 24 hours when she toppled from her seat at 5:32 a.m. on June 19, falling face down on the floor.

She was dead by 6:35, when someone on the medical staff, flagged down by a person in the waiting room, finally approached, nudged Green with her foot, and gently prodded her shoulder, as if to wake her. The staffer then left and returned with someone wearing a white lab coat who examined her and summoned help.

Until the staffer's appearance, Green's collapse barely caused a ripple. Other patients waiting a few feet away didn't react.

Security guards and a member of the hospital's staff appeared to notice her prone body at least three times, but made no visible attempt to see if she needed help.

One guard didn't even leave his chair, rolling it around a corner to stare at the body, then rolling away a few moments later.

Green, who had been involuntarily committed the previous morning and had waited overnight for a bed, stopped moving about half an hour after she collapsed.

The New York City Health and Hospitals Corporation, which runs the hospital, said six people have been fired as a result, including security personnel and members of the medical staff.

The psychiatric unit at Kings County Hospital in Brooklyn had already been a subject of complaints by advocates for the mentally ill.

A state agency, the New York State Mental Hygiene Legal Service, and the New York Civil Liberties Union filed a lawsuit a year ago, calling the psychiatric center "a chamber of filth, decay, indifference and danger."

Both sides in the dispute went before a federal judge Tuesday to jointly file papers in which the hospital system agreed to a series of reforms. Under the agreement, patients in the waiting room will now be checked every 15 minutes.

Over the next four months, the hospital will attempt to shorten the median waiting time to around 10 hours. A judge is scheduled to approve the agreement today.

The tape of Green's wait has also been turned over to prosecutors.

Green's medical records raised the possibility that someone might have tried to cover up the circumstances of the death.

One notation said that at 6 a.m., she was "awake, up and about" and had just used the restroom. Another said that at 6:20 a.m., she was sitting quietly in the waiting room and had a normal blood pressure. At both of those times, Green was either in her death throes or already dead.

Mayor Michael Bloomberg said that he was disgusted by the tape, and that the actions of the hospital staff were unacceptable.

"I think what they said is, 'Oh well, people sleep on the floor all the time, and I didn't pay any attention,' " he said. "They shouldn't be sleeping on the floor ... and you should pay attention."

Health and Hospitals Corporation President Alan Aviles said in a statement that he was shocked and distressed by the situation and promised a thorough investigation.

The office of the city's medical examiner said it is still trying to determine why Green died. She had been brought to the hospital suffering from agitation and psychosis, city officials said.

Green was born in Jamaica, and the city has agreed to fly her body home for burial.


This article appeared on page A - 4 of the San Francisco Chronicle


Cheesecake Factory, Race, and Marriage Part 2

First let me get my militancy out of the way:

I just love Saul Williams, I forgot to add him to my "WTF? You think he's hot?!?!?!?!?!" list.


So my husband broke his rule of not reading my blog, because he saw me typing the blog up, he wasn't so upset with the blog itself, but the comments. He feels he isn't naive at all, just willing to give the benefit of the doubt. He feels that he as a white male has this burden of proving he isn't racist, which he understands why, but maybe that is why he is willing to do such a thing, as he doesn't see himself as racist (I don't see him as racist either), but he like me are both naive in the ways of what it is like to be of the opposite race, we can't experience that, even if we wanted to. He was also willing to say he wasn't denying it wasn't racially motivated, he just wanted to give people the benefit of the doubt. He feels I was angry for no reason though, but that has everything to do with my having a quick temper in general. I think he wants to see the good in people, and he thinks sometimes I see the bad in people, which I do to an extent. I am just not trusting of people, but that is just how I am.

I mentioned this in the comments section of the last post, my husband does know what it is like to be a minority somewhat, as he spent some time being the "only one" in schools that were predominantly black and hispanic, even when we met in college, the majority of people he was around were black. I've never thought him to be uncomfortable around my family, he was able to woo my parents, and he just isn't focused on race. This can be a good thing and a bad thing. Being around a person like me, I enjoy having discussions on race and politics, so often I discuss it here on this blog. My husband did point out I talk about race a lot, and that I seem to obsess over it, as in real life we never discuss race or rarely if ever politics. We usually discuss television and what is going on at work or with family and friends, etc.

All in all, he just wanted to make sure I knew he would stand up for me if he felt I was being discriminated against, but I think my issue would still be would he be able to recognize it, after all our experiences are vastly different.