2008-07-06

You Think Your Better Than People Because You.......

Today on another blog, I got the "You think your better than people because you......" comment today in response to me responding to someone who on a consistent basis has offended me with his thinly veiled stereotypes and comments on why he this his wife is a "magical negro." As he has explained in numerous postings his wife came from a family of evil.

Here is the comment:

You need to get over that suburban black being better than inner city black attitude. I sort of got the feeling that you were better than that. But let me tell you this...the same way that you refer to his wife as ghetto trash, you are considered trash as well. I dont care about how "WHITE" you sound or the fact that you have a white husband or the fact that you are from the suburbs... In fact, I guarantee that you have been considered trash by some of those white boys that you "LOVE" so much. It would only take a heated argument for it to come out. You need to get over yourself.


I never once said that I was better than an inner city black. I have no clue if his wife is an inner city black, which to me speaks volumes on this persons insecurity. I have dealt with this my whole life, and I don't really understand it. I also want to note that a "It would only take a heated argument for it to come out. You need to get over yourself." speaks volumes. Never once have I said I am better than anyone. I see myself as damaged goods, not because of where I live or where I come from, but I as I said to someone via email the other day, I don't fit in. I am "too black" to be white, "too white" to be black. I talk and act too white, but I look too black. It confuses people, they keep their distance. In terms of my "superiority" coming out in a heated argument, why would you expect anything to come out? Why would you expect me to do anything? Was an opinion already formed in your mind and this was your chance to pounce?

Also note, I will proudly proclaim to anyone I am one generation removed from the "ghetto" and the country. I said this at the other blog, I will say it here, being poor does not automatically mean ghetto, nor does being wealthy equate to having class. If I felt that way, I would have to disown members of my own family, including my grandparents and some uncles and aunts. I don't do that. I love my family, even the ones who have hurt me. The ones who make fun of the way I talk. That did the "I told you she was white" when I married my husband. The ones who told my mother that she was going to get knocked off her pedestal and just because she married my father, got a degree, and moved her kids into a "white area" didn't mean she wasn't black any more, and that the white people would always think of her as a "n*gger."

Hell, to be honest those family members do have a point, no one ever forgets I am black with my dark skin, curly black hair, broad nose, and full lips. Even when I went through my period of "discovering my blackness", when I tried to assimilate with black folks, I still couldn't. Per some I still "acted white", and I was told by one girl I sound liked a white girl talking black when I tried to sound "more ethnic."

Some of the reasons for my I think I am better than others would kill me as well. Some of the best were

....Because you got good hair (I had everything to do with my hair texture)
....Because you have a daddy.
....Because you went to college.
....Because you live in a brick house (that was from some country folk)
....Because you talk to white folks (hello I had no choice, unless I wanted to be alone and have no friends)

I can't win. My parents received this type of treatment at times. They often would get the "forgot where you came from speeches" when money wouldn't be loaned after the first three loans initially given were never paid back. When they wouldn't pay for the whole tab, or put money on books for folks in jail. When crack heads would ask to come over while unsupervised.

I want to note, my father fought tooth and nail to prove he was still in the neighborhood. My dad ran agriculture programs (yes my father is in agriculture) for the teens in the neighborhood he grew up in. Sought interns from his alma mater, Prairie View A&M. My mother quit her job teaching in the suburbs to go to an inner city school, she wanted to make a difference. These are not people who moved off and became ashamed of their upbringing, but they were no longer black enough because they didn't live in the heart of the "ghetto" or "poverty" they once came from.

How does one fit in, how does one prove themselves to be "normal"?

****Disclaimer***** To make sure that people don't think I am twisting comments or words and quotes, you can see the quote that inspired the whole transaction in it's entirety on C1`s blog. Please do not go there to derail his topic, if you want to yell at me and tell me how horrible I am come here to do it. He made a great post and I do not want to deflect from that. Also note that the quote did not come from the person I was talking to, but rather someone wanting to defend him.