2008-09-15

I Had To Suffer To Obtain My Husband


People always tell me when I make my gripes about marriage or my husband that I am so lucky I have found someone. Now I will admit I am lucky as all get out in regards to the man I married, but I dated many a damaged man to get to my current one.

To be honest my husband is my one and only true relationship. My longest relationship prior to my husband is 3 months. I dated a lot, but I never really had a lot of boyfriends, and some of the men I dated, I really should be sworn into sainthood for.

Amongst the men I dated in the past:

A guy who upon our first date professed his love for me and bought me a plain silver plated ring from Claire's for $8 to profess his love and intended engagement. I was 18, he was 26, and in our first date he had planned that I was going to quit school and go to work full time to support him while he went to college and I was going to give him a daughter named Journey Nicole. On the second date, I paid for it, and broke up with him. He then tried to hit me he was so angry. This is the closest I have ever come to domestic violence. Note, I would never name my child Journey, nothing against the name, just not my cup of tea.

A guy who was 20 who lived with his mom. No job, no education, and I had to pick him up from jail because he didn't pay his tickets for skipping out on bus fare. He was trusteed in the country jail, and bragged about it. Again I was 18.

I once dated a guy who had a kid, lived with his mother, with no job, no college. I went to his house to get ready to go out, and found a notebook wide open on his bed with a bunch of girls names and phone numbers. I obviously asked him about it, and he got mad at me, told me I invaded his privacy and the date was off. He then called and asked for me to give him an apology. I did, and I actually cried because I was rejected and felt bad for busting him trying to play around. I was 19. He also told me I acted "too white". He was white. My first encounter with a deuce.

I once went on a date with a guy. We went to go see the movie Kids. During one of the scenes, there is a guy who decides to have sex with a girl completely passed out. My date actually was so excited about this, he actually said out loud in a quiet movie theatre "get her!", I guess he was excited at the hope of seeing a rape on film. I was 18, and scared, and that was a one date deal. The movie was awesome though. Made me an automatic Harmony Korine fan.

I once dated a guy who told me I should be happy about whatever guy I get, as he believed whatever approached me is whatever I was worthy of. This was after a conversation I had with him about a homeless, toothless, old man telling me I had great boobs. I was prideful in thinking I deserved to be approached in a different manner. I dated that guy for a whole month, and he also shared with me that him and his ex had a tumultuous relationship, and that when she got pregnant it scared the hell out of him, and he was so glad she miscarried, as he didn't want to be burdened with kids. Imagine my shock and horror that this man never once thought about using birth control with this woman who tried to "trap" him.

A blind date with a guy who was I kid you not, 4'9. He was not only really short, but really round. I was told he was 5'6. He shared with me on the first date, that he had a very small penis due to childhood abuse, like 2 inches erect. I am not trying to be vain, but that scared the living hell out of me.

Men I managed to avoid romantically at all costs:

I once went over to a friends apartment where some shady activity was going on. At her apartment was a 30 something year old man. He was 400 lbs, 36, with a child. I made the mistake of smiling and being nice to him. He took that to mean I wanted him. I was 22 at the time, and was not interested. He told me even though I played like I didn't want him, he wanted me, and decided I was going to be the one thing he wouldn't give up on. He somehow obtained my number, I am not sure how this happened, but he decided when I wouldn't pick up the phone, that he would call incessantly. He once called me 38 times in a day, and the one time I picked up as he called from a pay phone, so his number did not show up on my caller ID, he told me I couldn't ignore him, and upon hanging up on him from that call, he had called again, meaning the man had called me from two phones simultaneously at the same time to try to make me talk to him. He also left messages and flowers on my car at my place of employment. A phone call to the local police station and a phone number change was needed to end this love affair.

Another attempted blind date, that only led to phone calls, in which the guy asked me what color were my inner lips, and not the lips on my face. Automatic hang up.

An internet chat in a local area chat room on AOL in which after 30 minutes of conversation, and picture exchange, this 36 year old man asked me did I want to have a baby with him. He felt with his obvious European features (very blonde, very blue eyed), and my obviously black features, our children would be beautiful, and he wanted a baby really bad, and would be willing to take care of me and the child indefinitely. We did not meet for this event to happen, and that was my foray into internet dating.

Now do you see why I cannot be single? This is what I chose before I lucked out, I paid dearly in my short time in the dating world, and I cannot go back.