Self Hate Is So Sad.....Long Video But Very Interesting

Growing up in the South there is talk of blue black, tar babies, burnt skin, blackie, yellow and red bone, and light skin often. People peek behind the ears of newborn babies to determine skin coloring. I know men black and white, who if they do date black women, prefer light skinned, light eyed, good haired women. I have the stories of people telling me I am pretty "for a dark skinned girl". It is part of the culture. I have family members who disown other folks for marrying too dark. So this isn't all that surprising to me. My cousin aka my newly acquired brother and sisters biological mother purposely became pregnant with her two oldest children so that she could have bright children. They both have white fathers. I had aunts who would tell us children to get out of the summer sun for fear of us blackening. I know people who are eager for my husband and I to have children because they want to see what our kids will look like.

I know all about Ambi , Palmers, and Esoterica, and I don't think I am the only one who knows about it, and I am not the only one to have used it at one time or another. I used it as a child at my aunt's house. She put it on her daughter and me when I would visit, she said it was to even skin tone, I didn't think otherwise. I used it, but quit as soon as I came home, I didn't notice the difference, but I probably only used it a few weeks and didn't make an impact on my skin.

I will admit as a child I wish my hair was straight, my nose was smaller, my lips weren't so thick. I will also admit I wish I had hazel eyes like my brother, and lighter skin. My parent didn't ever push the "light is right" mentality, but they didn't have to, my surroundings and family members contributed to that. I do hope that if I do have kids, they don't have those same hang ups, the sad thing is that living in America, I don't know it will be possible to avoid it.