2008-09-27

Can You Guess How Many Cotton Balls Are In The Jar?



Or can you tell me how many bubbles are in a bar of soap?

A better question would be, why should you have to in order to vote for the candidate of your choice? Isn't it sad some people had to do this in order to vote. This is an example of a "voting test" used to keep black people from voting.

Just a reminder, you can register to vote right here, here, or here.

Go here to see the voter registration deadline in your state.

New Mexico A Haven For Race Relations: Bernalillo County Republican Party Chairman Fernando C. de Baca

The truth is that Hispanics came here as conquerors. African-Americans came here as slaves. Hispanics consider themselves above blacks. They won’t vote for a black president.


Yes, he actually said that. He also said this:

I feel strongly that Hispanics will not support, in my generation and the generation around my age, are not going to support the Democratic candidate for president primarily because there is a strong feeling that African Americans during the civil rights movement took advantage, full advantage, of all the benefits and programs that the government offered, that were supposed to be offered to all minorities. But we were left behind, we were left sucking air, and we resented that ever since the 60s, and I don’t see how a black president is going to change that.



Thanks Grata for the heads up.

Seriously, this seems to be an ongoing trend. I live in Texas. If you don't know Texas used to be a part of Mexico. We have a VERY large hispanic population, and I can say many young and old have this view. They never want to discuss that the Spaniards that conquered Mexico conquered many of their indian ancestors, which the majority of them actually are. Just because you have some European blood in you, doesn't make you European, if you haven't learned the MAJORITY of blacks with slave ancestry can say the same exact thing. Also note many hispanics, including mexicans have black ancestry as well. Some of the black slaves escaped on down to Mexico and settled there. The horror, the possibility of black blood diluting all that spaniard blood.

Some are upset the blacks "took" full advantage of all the benefits. How this was done? I don't know, as it was meant for ALL minorities, including HISPANICS, and WHITE WOMEN. Also note that there was limited hispanic involvement in the civil rights movement, as at that time, only a few states had hispanics, and the illegal immigration issue was non existent, and they were allowed, at least in Texas to attend and partake in white only establishments. So I guess the assumption is blacks do all the work, while they benefit from it, and they are mad that black people took advantage of what they fought for. I don't know. I also want to add, what laws have been put in place for BLACKS ONLY? Name one Federal or Local law that is exclusively for the use of blacks?

I know I sound racist, and I do not for one second believe that ALL hispanics think this way, but dammit if the racist of all hues ain't pissing me off!!!!!!

You would think that will all the struggles minorities of all hues share, some folks would know better than to go there. I don't have to put down folks in order to exalt myself, and if you feel you are higher up on the racial hierarchy, don't forget there is always someone lower, and don't forget that depending upon public opinion you might fall down the rung a bit. Racism, of all hues is bad, don't contribute.

2008-09-26

Ode To House

OK So you don't get it confused,

I am talking about the 1980s movie "House" Starring William Katt:



Not the T.V. show with Hugh Laurie:



I do this post on the cusp of the Heroes season premiere. William Katt got himself a role. I was so excited. My husband looked at me as if I was crazy for even knowing who William Katt was. When I say William Katt, I mean William Katt:





The 1970's teen heartthrob of Carrie and Greatest American Hero Fame. In the 1970's it seemed to be a heartthrob, you had to be blonde and/or have curly hair.

Not Kat Williams:



The miniature pimp comedian of Soul Plane, Friday After Next, and "A Pimp Named Slickback" Boondocks fame.

For reference, here are some clips from the Friday After Next and the Boondocks:





I so digressed on this topic. Surprise.

Anyway House the movie ruled HBO during the summers along with Breaking 2 the Electric Boogaloo. I watched this, and it's sequels, House 2, House 3, and House 4 religiously. I had to sneak watching these movies due the objectionable content, but to me these movies were scary as all get out. Give me a break folks, I was 10 when the first one came out, and to all you young ones, you weren't even born.....I am so old. The premise of the movie is, the house is haunted, it knows all your weaknesses, and it plays tricks on your mind using them. It then tries to kill you. This house is no joke. Do not play with the house. Here is a trailer to show you the scariness:



This movie is classic, and you guys should all watch it.

2008-09-25

Why You Should Vote



People protested, got arrested, and died for you to vote. Seriously.

If you need to register. Go here for more information on how to register in your state.

If the Voting RIghts Act of 1965 doesn't convince you to vote, maybe this story will. In 2008, we still have people trying to challenge other people's right to vote.

2008-09-24

Reaganomics Part Deux


So is it me or is this big corporate bailout reminiscent of Reaganomics aka Trickle Down Economics aka supply side conomics, where we focus on saving rich for the supposed benefit of the middle class and poor? Obviously those who run the show, Henry Paulson, Ben Bernanke, and others didn't seem to notice the collapse of the U.S. economy until Wall Street was in deep. We also don't seem to be learning from our own history. Does anyone remember the Savings and Loan Crisis and the stock market crash of 1987?

In the 1980s Reaganomics was all the rage and it resulted in high inflation and high unemployment aka stagflation. Remember Bush has been cutting social programs left and right, and this move to save Wall Street is akin to Reagan's need to slash taxes, with the biggest reductions to those with the highest incomes. Bush has given us a high deficit, just like Reagan. We are dealing with high gas prices, just like Reagan had to deal with when he entered his Presidency.

This bailout is going to do the same thing to the economy Reaganomics did, it is going to be a rough ride. We are in a recession, whether or not the government wants to acknowledge it. No one seems to know what the hell is going on, and we need to be concerned.

2008-09-22

Is This Michelle Obama?



Thanks, Saqqara Soleil for showing me this story.

This is a bust created by Daniel Edwards, the guy infamous for his Brittany Spears giving birth on a bearskin rug on her hands and knees, Suri Cruise's first turd, and naked dead Oprah sculptures. Michelle Obama is being shown at the Leo Kesting Gallery. This piece is supposedly in response to Daniel Edwards disdain for a gold statue of Kate Moss done by sculptor Marc Quinn. Edwards felt the Kate Moss sculpture was racist and perpetuated a racist standard of beauty. In the letter he suggested that they make sculptures of those who show a different type of beauty, such as Stephen Hawking or Michelle Obama.

So I guess his answer was to take on the challenge himself. I think he completely missed the mark. He probably doesn't even understand why his sculptor could be construed as racist.

Honestly, lets look at this bust. Why is Michelle Obama topless? Wouldn't that Black Tail Magazine spread come to light by now if Michelle had ever even dared to so such a thing? How many other first ladies have had a bust made of them completely topless? I am all for being open and accepting of nudity, but why the potential First Lady of the United States? I find it funny that Michelle Obama throughout this whole campaign has managed to be labeled as every single negative stereotype of black women. Fox News referring to her as a baby's momma. The New Yorker portraying her as a militant angry black woman with power afro, camo,carrying a gun, and giving "daps" to her husband. Now we have the Jezebel, sexualized and exposed. What else can they throw at Michelle Obama?

Let's talk about the hair pick and the hair? Why is she sporting an afro pick? Contrary to popular belief, black people use combs and brushes, just like other races of people, especially when they have relaxed hair. Speaking of hair, what is up with the finger wave gone bad she has on her head? Michelle Obama wears a relaxer, why would this be a hairstyle that Michelle Obama would consider? Keysha Cole wears finger waves, not Michelle Obama.

FInally the door knocker earrings. Now you guys know I love and rock door knocker earrings on a regular basis outside of the work realm, but seriously when has Michelle Obama ever worn door knockers? I can see it now, the well put together suit, the simple pearl necklace and the 5 pound gold hoops. I don't see it happening.

Finally, why is Michelle tattooed? I understand she is part of the "New America" that Obama plans to bring if he gets into the White House, but why must she appear that she is so "down" for America she wears it on her chest. Could you see Laura Bush with her chest tattooed? Isn't she "down" with America too?

I commend Daniel Edwards trying to shatter beauty ideals, but really? Does this do Michelle Obama justice? Why wouldn't he do a bust of Naomi Campbell, Alek Wek, or Tyra Banks in response to the Kate Moss sculpture? Why would he choose the potential First Lady and sexualize her?

2008-09-21

Self Hate Is So Sad.....Long Video But Very Interesting



Growing up in the South there is talk of blue black, tar babies, burnt skin, blackie, yellow and red bone, and light skin often. People peek behind the ears of newborn babies to determine skin coloring. I know men black and white, who if they do date black women, prefer light skinned, light eyed, good haired women. I have the stories of people telling me I am pretty "for a dark skinned girl". It is part of the culture. I have family members who disown other folks for marrying too dark. So this isn't all that surprising to me. My cousin aka my newly acquired brother and sisters biological mother purposely became pregnant with her two oldest children so that she could have bright children. They both have white fathers. I had aunts who would tell us children to get out of the summer sun for fear of us blackening. I know people who are eager for my husband and I to have children because they want to see what our kids will look like.

I know all about Ambi , Palmers, and Esoterica, and I don't think I am the only one who knows about it, and I am not the only one to have used it at one time or another. I used it as a child at my aunt's house. She put it on her daughter and me when I would visit, she said it was to even skin tone, I didn't think otherwise. I used it, but quit as soon as I came home, I didn't notice the difference, but I probably only used it a few weeks and didn't make an impact on my skin.

I will admit as a child I wish my hair was straight, my nose was smaller, my lips weren't so thick. I will also admit I wish I had hazel eyes like my brother, and lighter skin. My parent didn't ever push the "light is right" mentality, but they didn't have to, my surroundings and family members contributed to that. I do hope that if I do have kids, they don't have those same hang ups, the sad thing is that living in America, I don't know it will be possible to avoid it.

2008-09-20

Boob Dilemma


I went shopping a while back with a friend of mine and as girls we sometimes share a dressing room to save time and ask how each other looks in the things we have picked out. I have a dilemma while shopping. I have floatation devices on my chest. These cause me to wear shirts that tend to be baggy, as I don't want to bring attention to them. Even when I don't try to, I still do. My husband is scared of me running for fear I will knock myself out, and even with the best sports bra or bras, I have been known to wear two at a time to minimize pain, I still have great buoyancy in that area. It is a blessing and a curse as sometimes people don't look at my face when I talk, which can be frustrating. That and the fact a button down blouse can turn into part of a naughty school teacher outfit, or if I get the shirt too big, I can look like a lumberjack, either or in some cases with certain outfits I am screwed.

Since it is a sin to be slutty, I tend to go for the lumberjack look. My friend in the dressing room looked at me crazy, and then told me she thought I was "bigger" because I wear baggy shirts. I told her my dilemma of hoochie vs. lumberjack, and she told me to go hoochie. My husband on the other hand prefers lumberjack. Now, I have actually blogged about my boobs before in determining whether or not I should through caution to the wind and just wear what I want to wear without caring if folks think I am slutty, that is unless I really do look slutty, then in that case I should be ok. But I should be able to wear a tube top or tank with certain safety precautions right?

Not a tube top like this:



But a tube top like this:




Right now these are around the house type items, but I want to be able to wear them out in public without fear of someone thinking I am working the streets.

I'm Not Surprised, Just Sad



Kind of makes you want to pack up and move to Canada.

Poll: Racial views steer some white Dems away from Obama
By RON FOURNIER and TREVOR TOMPSON, Associated Press Writers
WASHINGTON (AP) — Deep-seated racial misgivings could cost Barack Obama the White House if the election is close, according to an AP-Yahoo News poll that found one-third of white Democrats harbor negative views toward blacks — many calling them "lazy," "violent," responsible for their own troubles.

The poll, conducted with Stanford University, suggests that the percentage of voters who may turn away from Obama because of his race could easily be larger than the final difference between the candidates in 2004 — about two and one-half percentage points.

Certainly, Republican John McCain has his own obstacles: He's an ally of an unpopular president and would be the nation's oldest first-term president. But Obama faces this: 40 percent of all white Americans hold at least a partly negative view toward blacks, and that includes many Democrats and independents.

More than a third of all white Democrats and independents — voters Obama can't win the White House without — agreed with at least one negative adjective about blacks, according to the survey, and they are significantly less likely to vote for Obama than those who don't have such views.

Such numbers are a harsh dose of reality in a campaign for the history books. Obama, the first black candidate with a serious shot at the presidency, accepted the Democratic nomination on the 45th anniversary of Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I Have a Dream" speech, a seminal moment for a nation that enshrined slavery in its Constitution.

"There are a lot fewer bigots than there were 50 years ago, but that doesn't mean there's only a few bigots," said Stanford political scientist Paul Sniderman who helped analyze the exhaustive survey.

The pollsters set out to determine why Obama is locked in a close race with McCain even as the political landscape seems to favor Democrats. President Bush's unpopularity, the Iraq war and a national sense of economic hard times cut against GOP candidates, as does that fact that Democratic voters outnumber Republicans.

The findings suggest that Obama's problem is close to home — among his fellow Democrats, particularly non-Hispanic white voters. Just seven in 10 people who call themselves Democrats support Obama, compared to the 85 percent of self-identified Republicans who back McCain.

The survey also focused on the racial attitudes of independent voters because they are likely to decide the election.

Lots of Republicans harbor prejudices, too, but the survey found they weren't voting against Obama because of his race. Most Republicans wouldn't vote for any Democrat for president — white, black or brown.

Not all whites are prejudiced. Indeed, more whites say good things about blacks than say bad things, the poll shows. And many whites who see blacks in a negative light are still willing or even eager to vote for Obama.

On the other side of the racial question, the Illinois Democrat is drawing almost unanimous support from blacks, the poll shows, though that probably wouldn't be enough to counter the negative effect of some whites' views.

Race is not the biggest factor driving Democrats and independents away from Obama. Doubts about his competency loom even larger, the poll indicates. More than a quarter of all Democrats expressed doubt that Obama can bring about the change they want, and they are likely to vote against him because of that.

Three in 10 of those Democrats who don't trust Obama's change-making credentials say they plan to vote for McCain.

Still, the effects of whites' racial views are apparent in the polling.

Statistical models derived from the poll suggest that Obama's support would be as much as 6 percentage points higher if there were no white racial prejudice.

But in an election without precedent, it's hard to know if such models take into account all the possible factors at play.

The AP-Yahoo News poll used the unique methodology of Knowledge Networks, a Menlo Park, Calif., firm that interviews people online after randomly selecting and screening them over telephone. Numerous studies have shown that people are more likely to report embarrassing behavior and unpopular opinions when answering questions on a computer rather than talking to a stranger.

Other techniques used in the poll included recording people's responses to black or white faces flashed on a computer screen, asking participants to rate how well certain adjectives apply to blacks, measuring whether people believe blacks' troubles are their own fault, and simply asking people how much they like or dislike blacks.

"We still don't like black people," said John Clouse, 57, reflecting the sentiments of his pals gathered at a coffee shop in Somerset, Ohio.

Given a choice of several positive and negative adjectives that might describe blacks, 20 percent of all whites said the word "violent" strongly applied. Among other words, 22 percent agreed with "boastful," 29 percent "complaining," 13 percent "lazy" and 11 percent "irresponsible." When asked about positive adjectives, whites were more likely to stay on the fence than give a strongly positive assessment.

Among white Democrats, one third cited a negative adjective and, of those, 58 percent said they planned to back Obama.

The poll sought to measure latent prejudices among whites by asking about factors contributing to the state of black America. One finding: More than a quarter of white Democrats agree that "if blacks would only try harder, they could be just as well off as whites."

Those who agreed with that statement were much less likely to back Obama than those who didn't.

Among white independents, racial stereotyping is not uncommon. For example, while about 20 percent of independent voters called blacks "intelligent" or "smart," more than one third latched on the adjective "complaining" and 24 percent said blacks were "violent."

Nearly four in 10 white independents agreed that blacks would be better off if they "try harder."

The survey broke ground by incorporating images of black and white faces to measure implicit racial attitudes, or prejudices that are so deeply rooted that people may not realize they have them. That test suggested the incidence of racial prejudice is even higher, with more than half of whites revealing more negative feelings toward blacks than whites.

Researchers used mathematical modeling to sort out the relative impact of a huge swath of variables that might have an impact on people's votes — including race, ideology, party identification, the hunger for change and the sentiments of Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton's backers.

Just 59 percent of her white Democratic supporters said they wanted Obama to be president. Nearly 17 percent of Clinton's white backers plan to vote for McCain.

Among white Democrats, Clinton supporters were nearly twice as likely as Obama backers to say at least one negative adjective described blacks well, a finding that suggests many of her supporters in the primaries — particularly whites with high school education or less — were motivated in part by racial attitudes.

The survey of 2,227 adults was conducted Aug. 27 to Sept. 5. It has a margin of sampling error of plus or minus 2.1 percentage points.

2008-09-19

I Thought It Was A Black Name

OK so if you guys don't know I have a kind of unique name. It is a feminine version of a guy's name, but not one you hear so often. So my brother in law calls me to tell me him and his wife have moved into a place and his leasing agent has the same name as me. He was shocked to realize that, as his leasing agent was an old white woman and he thought my name was a "black name". Well when I told him no, the majority of people I meet with my name tend to be older white women, he was in shock. He thought my parents made up my name. I was like no, even though my name is rare, it is actually a name, and even if it was made up what would constitute a "black name"? Then he goes, you know what I am talking about. I was like no, as his own child has a name that is a bit made up, and I have met quite a few white people who love the name Nevaeh aka "Heaven" backwards, which I don't get, just name the baby Heaven, but I digress. Let me not get started on celebrity baby names.

Even the stereotypical "black" names of LaToshas and Shawntaes out there are seem to be derivatives of other names, usually French. I knew a girl with the name LaTosha (I swear that was the official name for children in the 1970s), and her parents named her that because they liked the names Natasha and Laetitia. I always assumed LaTisha was just a different way of spelling Laetitia. Shawntae was just a variant of Shawnta or some other name. I found a website that goes into great detail about African American baby names. Don't let the title Black Ghetto Baby Names fool you, it really is an interesting site. They weren't necessarily made up. I went to school with a black girl named Octavia as a child, and she got teased for it constantly, and I could never figure out why, her mother was apparently very well read in roman history, but because her name wasn't Tiffany, Jennifer, or Rebecca she had a "ghetto" name. I went by my nickname in school, no one really teased me about my name, but it is quite common for folks to mispronounce and misspell my name, which is why I go by my nickname and not my real name, even though my parents and husband refer to me as my real name, and if you were to call me by my nickname in public, it takes them a while to get used to people calling me that.

Now don't get me wrong I have some folks in my family who have given their kids jacked up and made up names, but it wasn't limited to just black people who do that. That or spell names "different" to differentiate their child's name from the masses.

2008-09-18

I Too Can Become Mary Kay Letourneau If I Wanted


So I went to Wal Mart, I know I am not supposed to be shopping there due to their bad labor practices and them killing small businesses, but I had to make a quick run so I could get some peaches for my husband's peach cobbler he begged me to make all day, so I had no choice. I so digressed on that. Anyway, I went to Wal Mart, and the check out boy was checking me out. He was cute for someone's child (cute little blonde skater boy), as he was no older than 17, but he was really trying hard for conversation, and spoke of his disappointment when he asked me was I wearing a wedding ring and told him yes. This was a confidence booster, because at 32 I am still not considered someone's momma, and because it was nice to know a white guy could openly display an attraction to a black woman.

I had a similar incident at the Wal Green's a couple of weeks ago, I was approached by someone's child there as well. Some young baby deuces asked me to roll down my window last week at a stop light.

So as an older woman I am asking, is it easier for the younger guys and girls to IR date? I mean it was controversial when I did it in high school, people gasped when they found out I was going to prom with a white boy. Is it easier now? Do most people look in disbelief, or do you notice they don't seem to care? As it seems the children are open to IR, where as the men my age aren't, but yet the OLD men are open as well, but I think that is because they just want a hot young thing to fulfill their midlife crisis and have shaken fears of what society might think.

What do you guys think? I am for one excited that if divorced, I could always become Mary Kay Letourneau, but only for people over the age of 18, I have seen too many female prison movies.

Where was I at when this came out?



This is awesome!!!!

2008-09-17

My Hair Is Not A Measure of My Blackness or Political Stance, Neither Is Yours


On youtube, there has been a discussion of Afrocentrism. In particular when it comes to natural hair vs. perms. Many on youtube feel that some of us natural haired folks look down upon them, and think they want to be white. While in some instances I do think this is true, I don't have an issue with people who perm their hair in general. I think those who are natural and have been vocal about "getting back to your roots" in regards to hair care come from a place of rejection and ridicule. Believe it or not some people with weaves and perms make fun of those of us with natural hair, and I would only say in the last few years have I been getting compliments on my hair from other blacks. Not to mention I feel as a black woman in America, I have been made to feel my hair in inadequate, not just from the European mainstream media, but within the black community, and even within my own family.

I have always had a LOT of hair. As a child, I remember my mother cursing doing my hair. She hated detangling it, she hated combing it, she would comment on how thick my hair was on a regular basis. She never said my hair was bad directly, but I got the feeling something was wrong with my hair and made me feel my hair was inadequate. It made it seem like my hair was a burden. Couple that with the predominant white areas I grew up in, it made me feel like there was something wrong with my hair as is. I know a lot of black people have heard and even said the negative comments in regards to "nappy" hair. Talking about people's kitchens. That people wear their hair natural because they are too lazy to get their hair done, or the "buckwheat" comments, or the "I have the best beautician to hook you up and get your hair right." The experience of flat ironing your hair on a whim, and being told you look "professional", or "so much better", or the "someone must have had a come to Jesus with you" comments. Seattle Slim just recently had this experience, and I can say I feel her pain.

With all that being said, and knowing my past experiences are not unique to me, I can see how some black women will embrace european beauty standards and ideals as their own, and look in disbelief at the concept of actually wanting to wear your hair in it's more natural form. Not all black women who perm feel this way, but I can see why I received the negative comments I did from those with perm and weave. No one ever told them, like me that black hair in it's natural state was ok. It was expected for you to have a perm, not locs or twists. Most black women can say they started perming at a young age. I was nine when I received my first perm, I know countless others who were much younger. They have grown up like me, not really knowing the actual texture of their own hair, and never really learning how to do hair in it's natural state.

I can also say that often people make assumptions about my political stances based upon my hair and appearance. People don't realize I just like the "black hippie" look. I love my hair natural, I love my big door knocker earrings (now I do have some more petite and smaller earrings for work, but casually, if I wear earrings, they are door knockers, I am not going to lie). No, I am not a Hebrew Israelite, or know of the ways of Yah(Jah). I do not wait for Biafra to rise again. No, I don't hate white people. I don't feel any closer to Africa than any other black American out there. I don't take an afrocentric view of the world vs. a eurocentric view. If anything, since I don't fit in either ideal, I mesh the two, or have created a more unique view of the world. I understand the concept of collectivism and think it is great, but I appreciate the idea of the individual as well.

For me being natural wasn't an "awakening" to get closer to my African roots, but a way to distance myself from pain. I still cringe at the thought of a hot comb burning my ear or the back of my neck. I've never had a time I could say I enjoyed getting a perm. Maybe I have a sensitive scalp, but that stuff burns my head, and yes for a week for hair looked silky straight, but my scalp would be full of scabs and tender. Also note because I have such thick hair, and I live in an area of relatively high humidity in relation to the rest of the country, my hair was always frizzy even when relaxed. I would curl my ends and for the 2 minutes I would be outside, my hair would frizz and the curl I put in my hair gone. The fact I was scared to go swimming in our public pools because my mom feared my hair would break off due to the chemical from the perm mixing with chlorine, making it super dry was an issue for me as well. I like not spending a couple of hours in the salon or at home to do my hair, but rather take an extra 15 minutes in the shower to detangle and deep condition when needed. I also saving money.

I will say going natural has caused me to put a different perspective on things. Like I am more inclined or more aware of eating processed foods, or being more concerned about buying organic and fair trade products. It I guess in that perspective, it did give me an insight, but not one I feel that should be pushed as an agenda to others, nor do I see my hair is a reflection of my blackness.


****An afterthought****

Something I noticed on IR blogs about natural hair, is that some men find natural hair to be a deterrent. Not that they don't like it, they are just under the impression that natural hair means pro-black and anti-IR. Why is that? I'm still about white boy love, perm or no perm.

2008-09-15

I Had To Suffer To Obtain My Husband


People always tell me when I make my gripes about marriage or my husband that I am so lucky I have found someone. Now I will admit I am lucky as all get out in regards to the man I married, but I dated many a damaged man to get to my current one.

To be honest my husband is my one and only true relationship. My longest relationship prior to my husband is 3 months. I dated a lot, but I never really had a lot of boyfriends, and some of the men I dated, I really should be sworn into sainthood for.

Amongst the men I dated in the past:

A guy who upon our first date professed his love for me and bought me a plain silver plated ring from Claire's for $8 to profess his love and intended engagement. I was 18, he was 26, and in our first date he had planned that I was going to quit school and go to work full time to support him while he went to college and I was going to give him a daughter named Journey Nicole. On the second date, I paid for it, and broke up with him. He then tried to hit me he was so angry. This is the closest I have ever come to domestic violence. Note, I would never name my child Journey, nothing against the name, just not my cup of tea.

A guy who was 20 who lived with his mom. No job, no education, and I had to pick him up from jail because he didn't pay his tickets for skipping out on bus fare. He was trusteed in the country jail, and bragged about it. Again I was 18.

I once dated a guy who had a kid, lived with his mother, with no job, no college. I went to his house to get ready to go out, and found a notebook wide open on his bed with a bunch of girls names and phone numbers. I obviously asked him about it, and he got mad at me, told me I invaded his privacy and the date was off. He then called and asked for me to give him an apology. I did, and I actually cried because I was rejected and felt bad for busting him trying to play around. I was 19. He also told me I acted "too white". He was white. My first encounter with a deuce.

I once went on a date with a guy. We went to go see the movie Kids. During one of the scenes, there is a guy who decides to have sex with a girl completely passed out. My date actually was so excited about this, he actually said out loud in a quiet movie theatre "get her!", I guess he was excited at the hope of seeing a rape on film. I was 18, and scared, and that was a one date deal. The movie was awesome though. Made me an automatic Harmony Korine fan.

I once dated a guy who told me I should be happy about whatever guy I get, as he believed whatever approached me is whatever I was worthy of. This was after a conversation I had with him about a homeless, toothless, old man telling me I had great boobs. I was prideful in thinking I deserved to be approached in a different manner. I dated that guy for a whole month, and he also shared with me that him and his ex had a tumultuous relationship, and that when she got pregnant it scared the hell out of him, and he was so glad she miscarried, as he didn't want to be burdened with kids. Imagine my shock and horror that this man never once thought about using birth control with this woman who tried to "trap" him.

A blind date with a guy who was I kid you not, 4'9. He was not only really short, but really round. I was told he was 5'6. He shared with me on the first date, that he had a very small penis due to childhood abuse, like 2 inches erect. I am not trying to be vain, but that scared the living hell out of me.

Men I managed to avoid romantically at all costs:

I once went over to a friends apartment where some shady activity was going on. At her apartment was a 30 something year old man. He was 400 lbs, 36, with a child. I made the mistake of smiling and being nice to him. He took that to mean I wanted him. I was 22 at the time, and was not interested. He told me even though I played like I didn't want him, he wanted me, and decided I was going to be the one thing he wouldn't give up on. He somehow obtained my number, I am not sure how this happened, but he decided when I wouldn't pick up the phone, that he would call incessantly. He once called me 38 times in a day, and the one time I picked up as he called from a pay phone, so his number did not show up on my caller ID, he told me I couldn't ignore him, and upon hanging up on him from that call, he had called again, meaning the man had called me from two phones simultaneously at the same time to try to make me talk to him. He also left messages and flowers on my car at my place of employment. A phone call to the local police station and a phone number change was needed to end this love affair.

Another attempted blind date, that only led to phone calls, in which the guy asked me what color were my inner lips, and not the lips on my face. Automatic hang up.

An internet chat in a local area chat room on AOL in which after 30 minutes of conversation, and picture exchange, this 36 year old man asked me did I want to have a baby with him. He felt with his obvious European features (very blonde, very blue eyed), and my obviously black features, our children would be beautiful, and he wanted a baby really bad, and would be willing to take care of me and the child indefinitely. We did not meet for this event to happen, and that was my foray into internet dating.

Now do you see why I cannot be single? This is what I chose before I lucked out, I paid dearly in my short time in the dating world, and I cannot go back.

Change You Can Taste



2008-09-13

Nerd Love


*****If you can guess why I chose this guy to represent nerds, you rock!!!!!!*****

Today it is raining, gloomy, and just a plain old good day to sit around and do nothing. I am on my laptop, my husband is on his, he is playing some freaked out copy of Monkey Island, I am playing the Sims, and we are watching a national geographic show on time travel with Michio Kaku. Yeah we are nerds.

Every since I could remember I preferred nerds or geeks to jocks or preppy guys. I really can't say that as my husband is a great undercover geek, but give me a tall guy with some geeky glasses and I drool, no lie. Ironically the jocks and preppy guys are the ones who usually approach. I prefer a guy into music, movies, or art over a guy into football and basketball. I mean some sports are ok, and I will admit I have limits to nerd and geek like traits or characteristics, but for the most part I am all about the nerds.

2008-09-12

Ike and newsreporters


As you know I am from Texas. I currently live in the burbs of Dallas, but I was born in Beaumont, have family all in Houston and East Texas. I say this because every area including Dallas will be affected by this incoming hurricane. So you do the usual phone calls to figure out, who got out and who decided to stay. Some didn't get a choice those in the golden triangle (Beaumont, Port Arthur, etc., and I must say since I mentioned PA, R.I.P. Pimp C) as they were faced with mandatory evacuations. Those people who decided to hunker down are under mandatory curfews, so no one is roaming the streets. Most businesses were closed today, and the grocery stores shut down early, and those stores that did stay open were out of EVERYTHING. My husband's grandmother explained to me today that she couldn't get any bread. She even went to the convenience store thinking no one else thought to go there. There will be no pizza delivery or chinese food delivery at their house this weekend, and with the way things are looking, not until early or mid week. Hopefully the media has hyped this up. I did find it funny that she called us concerned about our well being. We will just be getting a measly tropical storm, if that. More than likely just a tropical depression. They are the old folks about to get hit with the eye of an at minimal category 2 hurricane, and she is concerned about us. The good thing I can say about hurricanes is that I have only been in one, and those I know that have been in them, have always been able to survive them with minimal damage. You always hear the stories about people dying in basements trying to escape the rising waters, but never does this ever happen to anyone I ever know.

I know that the news coverage is working my nerves. I am trying to figure out why reporters flock to the danger and then try to find the most horrible place to report. I saw a reporter almost get swept away by the Gulf of Mexico thinking it would be wise to show great footage of the ocean and the huge waves. The pier was rocking underneath his feet and part of the railing broke away. We know it is a hurricane, we know it is bad, we will just take your word for it how hard it is.

The beauty of living in Texas is that the weather is very volatile. I have been in hurricanes, floods, tornados, hail storms, dust storms, sleet, and snow. We get 15 degree weather up to 113 degree weather. I remember once having snow on the same day in which it got up to 70 degrees. Where else in the world can you experience it all!!!!! Except an earthquake, I don't know if I can deal with an earthquake.

::update power is out, but the cell phones are working in South Houston. No power, no phone, no cell phone reception in Galveston::

Maxwell vs. Kate Bush

I absolutely adore this song. I don't know which one is the best. I love both Maxwell and Kate Bush




Ode To Tom And Helen




The Jeffersons was the 1st TV show in history to prominently feature an IR couple. In particular an IR couple between a white man and black woman. Note The Jeffersons was a spin off of All In The Family, where the main character, Archie Bunker was the atypical bigot, and the Jeffersons were their neighbors. George Jefferson was the black version of Archie Bunker, except he was rich, and black. He was able to "Move On Up" and away from the blue collar neighborhood the Bunkers lived in. George and Tom Willis were friends on the show, but only at the expense of Tom. George often referred to Tom and Helen as the "zebra" couple, and Tom as a "honky". Tom never seemed to strike back at George, Helen always had a short or baldy joke to slam back at George. Ironically, even though he refers to Tom and Helen's kids as "zebra" children, Lionel Jefferson and Jenny Willis get married.

I always found it funny that Jenny was played by a black actress and that their son, who was rarely if ever on the show, was played by white actors. Like there were no biracial actors available, of course on most predominantly black shows, they always have biracial actors and actresses playing black, and we never bat an eye to it (Half & Half, Girlfriends, The Cosby Show, My Wife & Kids, Fresh Prince of Bel Aire). Why don't they use these biracial and pass them off as white kids in white families on TV?



Anyway I felt it important to point them out, and to also point out, that even as a child being able to see some of these episodes in first run (shut up, I know I am old, I remember the early 80s pretty well), it never occurred to me an interracial relationship was possible, as that was just some made up stuff on television to me. I also remember being shocked they let them kiss each other on the lips, nothing passionate, just pecks, but still that was shocking.

Side note, I am so late on this, but Wilona from Good Times sang the theme song to The Jeffersons, and Lionel #1 (you know, not the dark skinned one) left the Jeffersons for a season or two to be a writer for Good Times. Who would have thunk? Also note, Ja'net DuBois is proof black don't crack, that woman has barely aged since 1976. How does that work?

Another side note, Roxie Roker who played Helen Willis, is the mother of Lenny Kravitz and cousin of Al Roker.

2008-09-10

Tuck and Patti



z

I am surprised this couple is never mentioned in the IR blogosphere. The jazz duo Tuck and Patti. They are big in the jazz scene, in particular in Japan, where Jazz is very popular. They not only are a duo, they have been married for a VERY long time.

2008-09-09

IR Movies



This weekend, two movies will be released featuring IR BW/WM couples. The first is Lakeview Terrace. A IR couple moves next door to a black cop, who doesn't like the idea of their relationship and makes their lives hell, as he doesn't want them to be his neighbor. The other movie, The Family Who Preys, is about two families and how they are affected by a relationship between two married people.

I am not going to say much on either movie, as I have not seen them, but I feel I don't want to see them. These movies seem to have the same theme. A IR relationship between a BW and WM can only be doomed. It is doomed because a black man will make their lives hell, or it will be a dirty little secret and will cause harm to your family.

When are we going to have an IR movie that doesn't make everything seem doom and gloom. God forbid the relationship is between a white man and black woman. Hell might freeze over.

2008-09-08

A Possible Reason Why Our Media Is Failing Us



C1 at his new blog discusses the media and it's concern over Sarah Palin's glasses. Where is the outrage at the arrest of Amy Goodman and her colleagues? Why is this not more pertinent than what someone is wearing or the VMAs? If the media can't cover the protests outside a political convention without getting arrested, what else can they not cover? Should we be scared that the media has turned into an entertainment outlet rather than a place for people to get information on what is going on in the country? We should be scared, as our freedom of speech seems to be rapidly becoming censored?

Four arrested covering protest at GOP convention

“I held up my press pass as I was filming,” said one of those arrested, Nicole Salazar, a producer and videographer for the nationally syndicated radio and television program, “Democracy Now!” Salazar suffered a bloody nose after being pushed by officers into a parked car, she told CPJ. Sound technician Sharif Abdel Kouddous was arrested as he was coming to her side and holding up a press pass, he told CPJ.

“Democracy Now!” host Amy Goodman was arrested after she approached a line of police to inquire about the status of her arrested colleagues. Her arrest was captured on film.

Associated Press photographer Matt Rourke was also arrested during the protests. “Covering news is a constitutionally protected activity, and covering a riot is part of that coverage,” the news agency quoted David Ake, an AP assistant bureau chief in Washington, as saying.

“We are concerned that police in St. Paul prevented journalists from covering a breaking story,” said CPJ Executive Director Joel Simon. “All four journalists were clearly there to do their jobs. We urge authorities to drop any pending charges and allow journalists to continue with their work.”

Police arrested 286 people during Monday's event, AP reported. An estimated 10,000 people took part in a peaceful anti-war march, AP said, but small groups broke windows, slashed tires, and harassed delegates. The journalists were arrested as police were attempting to coral protestors into a parking lot in order to make arrests, Kouddous told CPJ.

An agent with the U.S. Secret Service, which is overseeing security for the Republican National Convention, later confiscated Kouddous’ daily press pass for the convention center, the journalist told CPJ. The same agent confiscated Goodman’s press pass, he said. Secret Service spokesman Ed Donovan said he could not immediately respond to the report that an agent had confiscated convention passes.

No charges were filed against AP photographer Matt Rourke, the news agency reported, citing Phil Carruthers, director of the prosecution division of the Ramsey County Attorney’s Office. Felony riot charges were pending against “Democracy Now!” journalists Kouddous and Salazar, while Goodman was charged with obstruction, according to a statement from “Democracy Now!” Janet Hafner, a spokeswoman for the Ramsey prosecutor, said she could not immediately confirm the status of the charges today.

2008-09-04

A Republican National Convention Recap

Jay Smooth is the coolest!!!!!

Here is his recap of the RNC last night.




A bonus video to show people how to tell people they sound racist:

2008-09-03

Calling White Men To Task



***Matthew Goode has nothing to do with this post, but isn't he pretty?***

Yes brohammas, I am calling you out, but we are still blogger buddies right?

OK So in my "Ideal White Guy For The Black Woman" post, there was some discussion on why white men don't ask out black women. A lot of the guys indicated that it is intimidating to ask out a woman, regardless of race and get shot down, and then someone (brohammas, I told you I am calling you out) indicated that maybe white men maybe approach women differently than black men. I am going to call bullocks on this.

When I was single, I had men of all races ask me out, and yes I will admit there in general is a difference in how black men vs. white men ask you out, but I will say that white guys ask out girls, they typically just don't ask out black girls. I have seen white guys offer to buy a drink for white, asian, and hispanic women. I have seen white guys strike up random conversations with white, asian, and hispanic women. I rarely if ever have seen or had a white guy straight up ask me out. It is as if black women are in a whole different league, either we are too beneath a white guy to ask out, or we are some completely different species all together.

When I say this, I exclude the old white men. When I was 20, I had no problems having 30 year old plus men asking me out. When I was 20, I thought 30 was old, so I didn't want to date someone ten years older than me, I got these white guys asking me out ALL the time. When I got approached by guys my own age, it was few and far between. The white guys I dated, including my husband, I had to approach. He was able to tell his friends he thought I was cute, but he wasn't able to tell me. Why is that? I of course went to the source and asked him, my husband, and he was scared of getting shot down. Of course my husband is extremely shy and anti-social, so he might not be a good example.

When I was approached by white guys my age that I was actually attracted to, it was usually a friend!!! I hate to say this but I draw a distinct line between guys I want to date and guys I want to be friends with. Even if I am initially attracted to you beyond friendship, if you don't express an interest in me until 6 months down the line, you get stuck in the friendship zone, and then there is the "I don't want to lose a friend if this doesn't work out" dilemma, and I know from experience, in most cases I can't be friends with my ex, there is only one or two guys that has been reserved for in the 32 years of life I have had, and even then those friends are at a distance figuratively and literally.

Another reason I call bullocks on this. White guys had no problem talking to me in a sexual manner and looking for bed buddies. Asking someone to dance for you is not an issue, but asking to buy a drink is? Why is it easy for you to treat me as a sex object, but not as a possible companion? Or asking you out to take you to your apartment where there are no plans, no dinner, no movie rental, no video game play, just I was expected to go up to your apartment and be excited to drop my panties and roll in your bed. I might be slutty, but I ain't that slutty.

So white guys, I know you are scared of getting shot down, but if you can ask out Becky, Ming Lee, and Rosa, you can ask out Shaquanda too (see how I managed to offend all the racial groups with stereotypical names?). The black girl won't necessarily curse you out any more than the white, asian or hispanic girl. Unless you ask her to dance for you, but then you deserve to get cursed out.

So white men, let me ask this, maybe I am not looking at all the different aspects, why is it you can ask a white, asian, and hispanic woman out, but a black woman is just too off limits?