2009-02-27

Black Women Are Always At Fault


So the other day Yanmommasaid sent me a link to a news story about a woman whose ex boyfriend attempted to shoot her in the head, but the bullet was deflected by the woman's weave. I thought the story was pretty impressive, being that I didn't realize weave could be so strong it deflects bullets. Well I sent this on to some of my real life friends and acquaintances. Why was the one of the responses I received via email was that at least now the girl has learned to make better choices in men. As if it was her fault the man shot her in the head. Note the reason he shot her in the head is because SHE BROKE UP with him. Also note, the girl is not even 21 yet. As I have stated before I suffered to get my husband, and at 20 I didn't always choose the best men to be in my life either. It didn't mean I deserved for a man to shoot me in the head for breaking up with him. I imagine if this story was about a white woman whose ex decided to shoot her in the head, would she be faulted for bad choices, or would she be on Oprah, Tyra, and a Lifetime Movie would be made about her being such a strong and determined woman who was able to challenge her attacker and overcome obstacles? Note the woman who sent me the email has been married three times, the first husband physically abused her and wiped out their mutual checking accounts when he left, and the second husband was an alcoholic cop who dealt drugs. Talk about bad choices, but she is white, so I guess when it comes to her misfortune, it is strictly the fault of the men she chose to marry.

Another topic I want to discuss is Chris Brown and Rihanna. OK the first thing I heard over and over again from people was that we don't know all the facts, don't judge. Then the rumors flew, Rihanna gave him herpes or she went off on him because he got a phone call from another woman. Either or, does it mean she is deserving of the beat down she received? I also noticed that anytime this story was reported on a blog, the comments would all lead to Rihanna must have done something to set Chris Brown off. Chris Brown beat the living hell out of her. I am not saying she was a completely innocent lamb, but obviously he went way too damn far by looking at the photo.

Why is abuse and assault of the black woman, the black woman's fault? What happened to blaming the assailant?

I type all this as I am watching "Enough" with JLo, a movie about a woman who marries an abusive man who beats her. They don't blame her for making bad choices in the movie, she just had some bad luck.