2009-05-02

According To Some-How I Got Into College


::Siditty makes a phone call to the admissions office for the college she applied to to check on the status of her application::

Siditty: Hello, I would like to check on the status application to your college.

College Administrator: Can I get your name?

Siditty: It's Siditty Angry And Black Since 1976

College Administrator: Social Security Number

Siditty: 777-XX-9311

College Administrator: Oh, your in, don't worry about it.

Siditty: What!?!?!??!?! I got in, that's great!!!!!!! What was it? My grades? My SAT score? My extracurricular activities?

College Administrator: Oh no, that doesn't matter. You could have all F's you would have gotten in.

Siditty: But how is that? I am not a legacy like so many of your other students? My parents attended different colleges.

College Administrator: Your parent's went to college? Seriously? Like community college huh?

Siditty: No like traditional colleges that offer four year degrees and master programs.

College Administrator: Wow that is crazy. They didn't even have Affirmative Action back then.

Siditty: What does that mean? So how did I get in?

College Administrator: Oh honey, it is because you are black, automatic admission. Your blackness alone is sufficient to get you into college.

Siditty: Really, so you mean I studied and did all that extracurricular shit for nothing? Damn.

College Administrator: ::laughing:: Oh lord, they made you believe you had to actually work or something to get into college? How silly your school was. Black just gets in, no matter what. We just took Pookie from the hood the other day. He has a 1.5 GPA and smokes crack daily. We think it is amazing any of you negroes can actually fill out an application.

Siditty: Wow

College Administrator: Now just go to the registrar's office and sign up for classes. Also stop by the financial aid office for your "go to college free because I am black and nothing else" scholarship.

Siditty: OK Thanks!!!!!!!

College Administrator: Oh be sure to tell your academic advisor to inform all your instructors to do an automative curve for all your grades. You get a complimentary "black curve" so you can appear to have a higher GPA.