John Mayer Has Racist Private Parts

John Mayer had a playboy interview. I had issues with it. I feel bad for feeling creeped out about Matthew McConaughey

Let's go to the controversial part of the interview, which was conducted during some scotch consumption. There is no excuse for stupidity, drunk or not though.

PLAYBOY: If you didn't know you, would you think you're a douche bag?

MAYER: It depends on what I picked up. My two biggest hits are "Your Body Is a Wonderland" and "Daughters." If you think those songs are pandering, then you'll think I'm a douche bag. It's like I come on very strong. I am a very...I'm just very. V-E-R-Y. And if you can't handle very, then I'm a douche bag. But I think the world needs a little very. That's why black people love me.

PLAYBOY: Because you're very?

MAYER: Someone asked me the other day, "What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?" And by the way, it's sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a nigger pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass? But I said, "I can't really have a hood pass. I've never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, 'We're full.'"

PLAYBOY: It is true; a lot of rappers love you. You recorded with Common and Kanye West, played live with Jay-Z.

MAYER: What is being black? It's making the most of your life, not taking a single moment for granted. Taking something that's seen as a struggle and making it work for you, or you'll die inside. Not to say that my struggle is like the collective struggle of black America. But maybe my struggle is similar to one black dude's.

PLAYBOY: Do black women throw themselves at you?

MAYER: I don't think I open myself to it. My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I've got a Benetton heart and a fuckin' David Duke cock. I'm going to start dating separately from my dick.

PLAYBOY: Let’s put some names out there. Let’s get specific.

MAYER: I always thought Holly Robinson Peete was gorgeous. Every white dude loved Hilary from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. And Kerry Washington. She’s superhot, and she’s also white-girl crazy. Kerry Washington would break your heart like a white girl. Just all of a sudden she’d be like, “Yeah, I sucked his dick. Whatever.” And you’d be like, “What? We weren’t talking about that.” That’s what “Heartbreak Warfare” is all about, when a girl uses jealousy as a tactic.

Oh John, you silly boy. I know some black women are upset about his preference, I'm not really all that concerned with that. I don't find men who compare to their "c*cks" to David Duke sexy. Plus I think that Jon Mayer is kind of cheesy, like a poseur, he's sensitive and cutting edge, but listens to Jessica Simpson and Ke$ha mainstream pop crud.

John, this is going to hurt your feelings, but not all black people love you. There are cooler white people in the world to like. I'm just saying, I haven't met en masse a bunch of black John Mayer lovers. Yes, some exist, but I don't think the whole black race has fallen in love with you, I know I haven't.

In regards to your "hood pass" aka "n*gger pass", I will be positive and say at least you know you don't have one. That's a positive. Now let's talk about the "hood" or "n*gger". I know that black people love you, but black people don't take kindly to white people using the term "n*gger". You know you don't have a pass, don't use the word John.

Also, black does not equal "hood". I know that BET tells you different, but BET isn't an accurate reflection of black people, I swear.

OK John, I am glad you are trying to articulate what you think it means to be black, but really, don't try. I can't articulate what it is like to be a white dude or a douche bag, I can tell you what I think it is, but I can't tell you how white people live, because, I'm not white.

John, I will give you credit, you used twitter to apologize, but really it isn't just about saying"n*gger", it is about being a douche. Apologize for being a douche, John.

For the full Jon Mayer interview, please go here.

Thanks Grata for the heads up.