It's already started
OK It took a few days, but it has happened. My husband's best friend is married to a special woman. This special woman has said things in the past. Here and here are some examples. So they see a pic of the baby, and she tells me, the best way to determine the color that my baby will turn out is determined by looking at the nail beds or behind her ears. I think to myself, who told her this. Another white women who is married to a black man and has biracial kids. Her mother in law told her. So obviously it's true, a black person told her. I hate when this happens. A black person tells a white person something and because that black person told them something, it must be true of all black people, and all black people believe this.
The looking at the ears and nail beds test to determine skin tone is not accurate. It's an old wives tale, and to be honest, I don't give a damn what color my child is, I just want her healthy.
Why do people care what color she turns out. We'll figure it out sooner or later.
Right now she is red. I assume she will come out tan. I really don't care, she's beautiful to me.
As you guys are all aware, I don't think people are able to see the humanity in others. Case and point, I've been on youtube arguing with a gay man. A gay man who responded to this video:
Now this video is supposed to be light hearted and fun. I was laughing at the video, but of course the racists came out in full force.
Now, obviously none of the racists actually watched this video. The video was a joke. The man claimed he invented the Flux Capacitor!!!!!
So the usual diatribe came about. The why do folks have black history month. Black people get hand outs. Black people complain and whine too much. Black people are the reason for the downfall of society. If we had white history month, it would be considered racist. You know the usual stuff.
In particular, a gay man jumped in on the conversation. He believes that blacks whine so much, we just get everything handed to us. Like we shout and the rest of the world bends over backwards. We also don't have fathers. We have no work ethic, and we're racist against white people. He's mad white people don't have a television network. He also made the assumption that black families are horrible. Another assumption made was that HBCU's didn't have scholarships and quotas to increase diversity (i.e. non-black people, primarily white people), only "white colleges" do that. He also told me of my love of KFC. No one told him a good southern girl doesn't eat KFC.
I often wonder how two different groups with similar struggles (note I didn't say the same, but similar) of stereotypes, being denied rights, and oppression could have such a huge disconnect. This man vehemently fights to defend gays all over youtube, I went to his profile page where you can see his various comments about gays and gay rights. He doesn't seem upset about the channels and magazines dedicated to gay people like Logo, OUT, the Advocate, or Curve. He is however upset about BET, Ebony, Jet, Black Enterprise, and other things that target a black demographic. Does he not see his hypocrisy? I wonder how he felt about Dan Savage and his race debacle? Much like the white women who so vehemently scream about blacks getting the right to vote before women, but completely ignoring that many blacks were not able to vote years after women got the right to vote. The same ones who talk about affirmative action as if they aren't protected under the same exact laws they are complaining about.
How do we get people to see each other's struggle, without dismissing those struggles?
I'm supposed to be 35 weeks pregnant, but I'm not. I'm a mom. A mom to a girl about 4 weeks early. A mom to a girl sleeping right next to me as I write this.
Today is my birthday and I got the greatest present in the world just two days before. How do you top receiving a brand new human? I mean there are no cool clothes or cars that can match that. Of course, just because I had a baby two days before my birthday does not mean you can go around pretending you don't owe me a gift either.
Just some info. For blog purposes and nickname purposes, her name is Rabbit. She is called Rabbit because she has some huge honking feet. Rabbit feet.
She was born on February 16. Now my husband is screwed, he has to worry about Valentines Day, her birthday, and mine, which is February 18.
She weighs 5lbs 5oz. She sleeps alot. She has a hairy back. It's one of the 1st things I noticed. I don't have to worry about waxing her because it's lanugo and goes away with time. I hope so. She also has hair on her ears. I feared for a while my child was a werewolf. Hey at least she doesn't look like this:
She's kind of demanding, but really cute, and I really like her. She will be blogging probably in a couple of months. She's that awesome and smart. It's true, the doctor told me. He told me she is mature and acts like a 37 week old. So there.
Last week, I wrote about John Mayer's racist penis. In the comments, Dark_Moon made a comment about Eric Clapton being racist. Now, I had to actually Google this, as I had never heard that Eric Clapton was racist. How can a man who essentially plays black music, has been strongly influenced by black music, and loves to have black background singers, be racist? Well, read this, and let me know what you think:
Do we have any foreigners in the audience tonight? If so, please put up your hands. Wogs I mean, I'm looking at you. Where are you? I'm sorry but some fucking wog...Arab grabbed my wife's bum, you know? Surely got to be said, yeah this is what all the fucking foreigners and wogs over here are like, just disgusting, that's just the truth, yeah. So where are you? Well wherever you all are, I think you should all just leave. Not just leave the hall, leave our country. You fucking (indecipherable). I don't want you here, in the room or in my country. Listen to me, man! I think we should vote for Enoch Powell. Enoch's our man. I think Enoch's right, I think we should send them all back. Stop Britain from becoming a black colony. Get the foreigners out. Get the wogs out. Get the coons out. Keep Britain white. I used to be into dope, now I'm into racism. It's much heavier, man. Fucking wogs, man. Fucking Saudis taking over London. Bastard wogs. Britain is becoming overcrowded and Enoch will stop it and send them all back. The black wogs and coons and Arabs and fucking Jamaicans and fucking (indecipherable) don't belong here, we don't want them here. This is England, this is a white country, we don't want any black wogs and coons living here. We need to make clear to them they are not welcome. England is for white people, man. We are a white country. I don't want fucking wogs living next to me with their standards. This is Great Britain, a white country, what is happening to us, for fuck's sake? We need to vote for Enoch Powell, he's a great man, speaking truth. Vote for Enoch, he's our man, he's on our side, he'll look after us. I want all of you here to vote for Enoch, support him, he's on our side. Enoch for Prime Minister! Throw the wogs out! Keep Britain white!
Now this was obtained from Wikipedia, so I decided to get some back up sources here and here to see if you guys could make it sound any nicer or justify the comment.
Now in today's world, we would get a nice weepy apology for such things, but back then, he got away with it, it was forgotten, and we all got lovey dovey with "Tears In Heaven" and all enjoy his blue-eyed blues. He gets endorsements and is a spokesperson for big huge companies.
Look proof, he isn't racist anymore, he's friends with Buddy Guy!!!! More like he is stealing Buddy Guy's music, but hey, you live and learn, right? I mean he can't justify what he said years later? Oh yes, he does. Clapton justifies his statements. Declaring Enoch Powell as "brave" and what the man said was still relevant. His stance has softened because now he believes the poor immigrants are exploited and forced into ghettos. I guess just the non-white ones.
Eric Clapton was the inspiration for the organization Rock Against Racism. Ironically so was David Bowie, you know that white guy married to Iman. Now, you know I love David Bowie, but I can't justify his dumb ass either. I don't think fascism is all that great and that Hitler was a rock star. That's just me though. At least Bowie was smart enough to apologize and at least blame the drugs for his stupidity. Drugs don't cause racism, but you know he didn't stand by the remarks. Elvis Costello has had to apologize for calling Ray Charles a "blind, arrogant n*gger" and James Brown as a "jive ass n*gger" and he didn't even do that onstage, but rather in a drunken stupor at a Holiday Inn bar.
So why do people continue to support people like Clapton? I feel a celebrity should put out a half assed apology before we all pretend we love them again.
Why do we forgive and forget? I hold a grudge too long to forget. I think others should do the same in regards to folks like John Mayer and Eric Clapton.
There is nothing else to say, but DAMN. I take that back, yes there is.
Who the hell is that child that starts the song?
Janet I can't hear you as you sing with your deceased brother. Isn't that kind of creepy?
I thought Fergie got off the meth? What is wrong with her? Haven't you done this before, with a bunch of other child stars like Alyssa Milano, the whole cast of Kids Incorporated, half of Wild Orchid, Martika, Heather "Poltergeist" O'Rourke, Danny Pintauro, Alfonso Reibero, the kid who was on One Day At A Time after it jumped the shark, and Drew Barrymore at the start of her drug addiction? You think I'm kidding, but I'm not. She started doing drugs and hanging out at Studio 54 at a very young age. She was doing coke at age 10.
Is that a Pussycat Doll with a solo? Who did she gyrate in front of to get that?
I know that wasn't a Jonas Brother? I just know they weren't that desperate?
OH HELL NAW. Why Lil' Wayne? WHY? Can he go without use of Autotune?
Oh he can't, his buddy T-Pain is there, and Autotune is a requirement.
I know Jamie Foxx did not mimic Ray Charles? Ray Charles would not want to be in this mess and someone should have gotten Tony Bennett to save him from the embarrassment.
LL Cool J you're no longer hard as hell, and you no longer rock the bells.
Will.I.Am. uuuuuuuhhhhhmmmmmmm no.
Oh Busta I used to like you, what happened?
Snoop. Go back to the Dogg Pound.
Wyclef, what the hell was that?
Kanye, baby you can't live 12 days without water. You would die. Your will to live would be gone, BECAUSE YOU'RE DEAD.
It's good to see Lionel Ritchie working again?
This is too much hot mess. I can't comprehend what the hell Quincy Jones was thinking.
So it's February. February is a great month. It's the best month of the year. You have Valentine's Day. President's Day. Most importantly, it's the month of my birthday. Oh yeah, it's also Black History Month.
Now people like to bitch and moan about Black History Month. The belief is that Black History Month is a month for black people only, and that whites, asians, hispanics and other races don't have a month. OK if that were true, I would concur, but let's go ahead and re-evaluate that statement.
-March is Irish-American Heritage Month
-May is Jewish American Heritage Month and Asian Pacific American Heritage Month
-September 15th kicks off Hispanic Heritage Month and German American Month
-October is National Italian American Month
-November is Native American Heritage Month
I'm sure there are other cultures out there with months, but here is just a small selection. Do you notice that even white people have a month? I know it's crazy, but Irish, German, and Italians are considered white people in America, and no one makes a big stink about it. I wonder why?
Now, why is there a need for all these months. I can't answer for all of them, but I will attempt to answer for Black History Month. In school I learned black people in America didn't do much. We were slaves and we had a Civil Rights Movement, and some woman was tired and sat down on a bus, and there was this one guy who made some peanut butter. We contributed nothing to science, music, culture. We fought in no wars. We were just some oppressed mofos that sat around sad and oppressed and with the creation of welfare, we learned how to live in public housing and use food stamps. We learned to dance, sing, and perform hip hop. We also got jobs by virtue of our blackness alone, isn't that what Affirmative Action is?
Yes I learned that in school. OK not all of that, but some of it. Some guy did do something with peanuts. I did learn that in school.
Now we all know, we did more than work for free and fight for Civil Rights. Of course, you kind of have to learn about that kind of stuff on your own. It just wasn't taught in schools. Not in the schools I attended anyway.
So my question is to all those who dislike the idea of Black History month, why is it an issue to have a month spreading awareness of African Americans and their impact in America? Is learning blacks were more than slaves a threatening thing?
If you want to know more about blacks in America outside of what BET tells you, go here.
John Mayer had a playboy interview. I had issues with it. I feel bad for feeling creeped out about Matthew McConaughey
Let's go to the controversial part of the interview, which was conducted during some scotch consumption. There is no excuse for stupidity, drunk or not though.
PLAYBOY: If you didn't know you, would you think you're a douche bag?
MAYER: It depends on what I picked up. My two biggest hits are "Your Body Is a Wonderland" and "Daughters." If you think those songs are pandering, then you'll think I'm a douche bag. It's like I come on very strong. I am a very...I'm just very. V-E-R-Y. And if you can't handle very, then I'm a douche bag. But I think the world needs a little very. That's why black people love me.
PLAYBOY: Because you're very?
MAYER: Someone asked me the other day, "What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?" And by the way, it's sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a nigger pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass? But I said, "I can't really have a hood pass. I've never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, 'We're full.'"
PLAYBOY: It is true; a lot of rappers love you. You recorded with Common and Kanye West, played live with Jay-Z.
MAYER: What is being black? It's making the most of your life, not taking a single moment for granted. Taking something that's seen as a struggle and making it work for you, or you'll die inside. Not to say that my struggle is like the collective struggle of black America. But maybe my struggle is similar to one black dude's.
PLAYBOY: Do black women throw themselves at you?
MAYER: I don't think I open myself to it. My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I've got a Benetton heart and a fuckin' David Duke cock. I'm going to start dating separately from my dick.
PLAYBOY: Let’s put some names out there. Let’s get specific.
MAYER: I always thought Holly Robinson Peete was gorgeous. Every white dude loved Hilary from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. And Kerry Washington. She’s superhot, and she’s also white-girl crazy. Kerry Washington would break your heart like a white girl. Just all of a sudden she’d be like, “Yeah, I sucked his dick. Whatever.” And you’d be like, “What? We weren’t talking about that.” That’s what “Heartbreak Warfare” is all about, when a girl uses jealousy as a tactic.
Oh John, you silly boy. I know some black women are upset about his preference, I'm not really all that concerned with that. I don't find men who compare to their "c*cks" to David Duke sexy. Plus I think that Jon Mayer is kind of cheesy, like a poseur, he's sensitive and cutting edge, but listens to Jessica Simpson and Ke$ha mainstream pop crud.
John, this is going to hurt your feelings, but not all black people love you. There are cooler white people in the world to like. I'm just saying, I haven't met en masse a bunch of black John Mayer lovers. Yes, some exist, but I don't think the whole black race has fallen in love with you, I know I haven't.
In regards to your "hood pass" aka "n*gger pass", I will be positive and say at least you know you don't have one. That's a positive. Now let's talk about the "hood" or "n*gger". I know that black people love you, but black people don't take kindly to white people using the term "n*gger". You know you don't have a pass, don't use the word John.
Also, black does not equal "hood". I know that BET tells you different, but BET isn't an accurate reflection of black people, I swear.
OK John, I am glad you are trying to articulate what you think it means to be black, but really, don't try. I can't articulate what it is like to be a white dude or a douche bag, I can tell you what I think it is, but I can't tell you how white people live, because, I'm not white.
John, I will give you credit, you used twitter to apologize, but really it isn't just about saying"n*gger", it is about being a douche. Apologize for being a douche, John.
For the full Jon Mayer interview, please go here.
Thanks Grata for the heads up.
I just finished watching this video about socialism and how it pertains to African Internationalism. Obviously I am not an African Internationalist in the terms she is probably referring to. She did however have some interesting points. Now this isn't fact, but rather based upon my experiences.
I live in America, where capitalism is embraced, it is loved, it is a "way of life", where as socialism is seen as an evil, horrible thing, that will crush America. Now we all know per the republicans, Tea Party goers, Glenn Beck, and Rush Limbaugh being a liberal, or democrat, or anything left of the right is considered being a socialist intent on destroying capitalism. Now I love capitalism, think it has it's good in America, but get this I don't necessary hate socialism. Socialism, like capitalism, cannot fix everything.
Now before you get out the pitchforks and declare I hate America, I will explain to you why I think I don't completely hate the CONCEPT of socialism. Mind you, I know socialism doesn't work in the ways it has been used in the past, but I don't necessary think capitalism is the salvation to all of America's problems either. I think in my experience, within my family history, the ideas of socialism have been implemented in American culture in the past.
I come from a family of country folks, they lived in small enclaves and communities mostly made up of black people, some on the land in which they were slaves. I still have many relatives that live in these enclaves. In the past these enclaves due to segregation had their own churches, schools, doctors, midwives, stores, and other businesses and services. They were self sufficient communities. For blacks, segregation forced people together, not by class like today; but rather race. So the doctors, teachers, nurses and other white collar/professional workers, lived near the janitors, cooks, maids, and others who worked more "blue collar" and "pink collar" jobs. They might not have lived next door to them, but they didn't live clear on the other side of town either. So what you had was a rather close knit small community, where every knew everyone else's business. This can be a good thing and a bad thing. If someone lost their job and their kids were hungry, the church would organize a food drive. If someone had to work, and had no childcare for their kids, there was always someone watching there kids, and if the kids were up to no good, always someone to tell the parents. If they couldn't afford to go to the doctor, the doctor would work out a payment plan. All in all, if someone was struggling, there was someone to help out, and you just weren't completely out on your own. People helped each other for the greater good of community.
Now when I say socialism, I'm looking at the moral commitment to community and equality. I'm not look so much at the economic model where the state is in control, I'm looking at the concept of the collective. The community or enclave in this case is the collective. In these enclaves there were rich and there were poor, but the commitment to community appeared to be greater than the commitment to just one's self. At least compared to today.
In today's world, people don't know their neighbors. We shop at big box stores instead of small, local businesses. We go to mega churches. Simply put, we focus on our immediate family now and we congregate with a sea of nameless, faceless people. Sometimes we donate and give to charity, but we give to major charities that give to people who we don't know, who might not even live in our own country, much less our own community. Everything this day and age seems to be focused more on the individual rather than the community. Is this because of our fear of socialism, or because we embrace capitalism?
Once desegregation occurred, blacks were no longer maligned to certain areas, we were free to live, school,and work where ever we wanted The enclave was no longer the enclave, race was no longer a factor in the concept of community (at least for black people). The upper class blacks could afford to live next to upper class whites. The black middle class could live where the white middle class lived. That left those who couldn't afford to move all by themselves. The community was now made up of mostly poor people. Since much of the money left, many of the businesses closed. The black doctor moved to the other side of town, so you went to the white doctor that was closer. The community disintegrated because the poor all by themselves could not sustain the community. Money provided more choice, and many people with money chose to leave.
So was this the fault of capitalism? Did capitalism or socialism cause the poor, in particular poor black people to have to rely on government assistance? Did it lead to the disintegration of black communities that at one time were vibrant and crime free? Or did socialism cause the rise of government programs to help the poor, since the community was no longer cohesive?
No Obama is not a socialist. No more of a socialist than George W. Bush anyway. :)
Thanks Lovelyn for forwarding this to me.
I was given a link to this blog the other day, a black woman explaining how race or racism affects her and her husband.
Per this woman race was never an issue because she grew up around white people. She regards race as "insignificant" or "trivial" and her and her husband don't see race in each other. She also goes on to say that due to her upbringing in a predominantly white area,the black guys she did date, she had nothing in common with and they only dated her for looks, whereas with white guys they dated her due to having similarities and things in common, but then goes on to say they were surprised at articulate and educated she was. She also states that the only negative reaction she has received about her relationship is from other black people, and that where they live is very diverse and multicultural.
Her husband even responded, and he says the only time he realizes he is in an interracial relationship is when he is around black people, particularly black men.
You can go read it, so you can tell me if my summary is off or not.
Personally, being in an interracial relationship for almost 11 years, being pregnant with a biracial child, and maybe even because I live in Texas, I have a different view and experiences of interracial relationships.
This girl is about ten years younger than me, so maybe for the younger folks, no one says anything, and everyone is ok with it. When I was dating, this wasn't the case. I caused a stir in my high school because I went to prom with a white guy. It was a controversy and I got all kinds of questions from the other kids.
Growing up in a predominantly white area, I didn't live in a racially harmonious utopia, I don't think I ever forgot I was black. I was constantly reminded. Someone always felt the need to ask me if I wanted to hear a funny n-word joke. Or feel the need to ask me why I didn't know any gang members or live in the ghetto. I lived in an area, where I had a poor white girl believing my father was always home because he worked nights as a pimp. My father is the epitome of a black geek, he could't pimp his way out of a paper bag.
I dated white guys in high school and college,almost exclusively because to be honest, that is what I was always around, and I do know or at least think, as my husband has pointed out, men are men, and most men don't ask out girls unless they are physically attracted to them. Personality and common interests come later. It would explain why I always attracted uber preppy republican white boys or jocks. They weren't interested in my politics or my interests in sports. I've met many white guys who just wanted sex. I do notice that a lot of white guys that approached me were scared to approach me for fear I wouldn't like them because I might not be open to IR.
I personally found it insulting when white people think I'm a magical negro. So yes, I'm articulated and educated, probably more so than you, and it isn't some weird thing,it is just how I was raised. Why would anyone assume I'm not educated or articulate? We don't want to open that can of worms.
In terms of family and friends accepting our relationship. My parents love my husband, but I know that my mom and dad would have preferred I married a black man. My parents were concerned about the reactions from others, but my parents grew up in Jim Crow, so they might have a way different experience with white people than I ever did. My husband's parents and grandparents seem to like me. His mother would always tell me I was her favorite kid. We get/got along great, but there were things they would say that would indicate to me they weren't 100% colorblind.
In terms of how others receive our relationship, some like it, some don't. I made a decision a long time ago, I couldn't date a white guy who was scared or uncomfortable around groups of black people. I need to be able to go to family reunions. I will say how blacks and white approach their disdain is different. Black people tend to be more vocal about it. White people more subtle, but they do show disdain or confusion. White women who think my husband must be down or from the "trailer park", as there is no other type of white guy willing to date black women. White women getting upset and telling me white men are only attracted to black women with white features. White women telling me they wish their brother in laws would quit dating hispanic and black women and get white women so they could date a better quality women. I would say the backlash is 50/50, just different in the approach.
Maybe I'm a pessimist, but I think race still matters in America. I still think to many people it is relevant. I am aware my husband is white, he is aware I'm black, but the novelty of race has worn off on us, but we know that to others, this isn't the case.
Maybe my age has an impact on how I view race? I think currently race relations are going backwards, not forwards. I do think things have improved, but I don't think they are where they should be.