Black People Can't Swim Anyway, No Biggie, Right?

I'm reading a story about racism. Me reading about racism? In America? Never. A black girl when visiting her parents decided she wanted to swim in the apartment complex pool. Sounds perfectly normal, right? Apparently the girl swimming in the pool caused the water to go cloudy, at least that is what the land lord said. Her hair products seemed to cause the water to go cloudy. The land lord's solution to keep the water from going cloudy is to make the swimming pool "whites only". Yeah, white people don't use hair products. If the true concern was that the water was cloudy, why not suggest a bathing cap be worn or hair be freshly washed before entering the pool? Oh, I'm sorry, that would make too much sense. I've said this for a while, but post racial America is working on my nerves. The post racial America is the dream of Rand and Ron Paul, and reminds me of the Jim Crow era at times. Yes the government tells people that we can't deny people the same basic rights over every one else based upon skin color. Yes, the government is now evil and that lady should be as racist as she wants. I'm just sad a child in 2011 is getting a "negro wake up call", I thought post racial America was supposed to fix this?


What The Downfall of Herman Cain Taught Me

So as we all know, the Cain Train has come to a halt. He is probably not going to be our next President. For some people this is a bad thing, but not for me. I'll do my happy dance later. All in all he had a good run, and there was a belief that this man had a chance to be President of the United States. Another black man could be President? It's proof of post racial America, right? Not necessarily.

I often hear from conservatives the reason Barack Obama became President was because he had the black vote, and that blacks voted for him simply because he was black. That is a huge error in judgment. It stereotypes blacks (republicans stereotyping, never!!!!) and simply doesn't look at the broader picture. Blacks have had many chances to vote for black candidates in the past. Alan Keyes, Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, Shirley Chisholm, Carol Moseley Braun, and Lenora Fulani have all run for President. They were all unsuccessful with ALL of America, including black America. Maybe because it wasn't their time to shine. Maybe because they were too controversial. Maybe it's because black people don't simply vote for black candidates because they're black. If Herman Cain had been successful in snagging the Republican nomination, I think the Republican party thinks it would have split the black vote. It wouldn't. Blacks, no matter how conservative, overwhelmingly vote Democratic. The Republican party could have snagged Oprah Winfrey and resurrected Martin Luther King Jr. from the dead on a double ticket and black people still would not have voted Republican. This is in part due to the Republican party and their Southern Strategy tactics over the last half a century. Black people in general don't trust politicians or the government, but we do know where the bread has been buttered the last half century. We also see the Republican's willingness to embrace the Tea Party and their racist ways. Yes, I know the Tea Party denies being a bunch of racists, and maybe not all of them are racist, but when the accusations flew instead of renouncing the racism, they defended it, over and over again.

For most black Americans, we never ever expected to see a black man as President in our lifetimes. We really didn't. We were excited about the prospect, but we knew the man for the job had to have a clean history. Herman Cain was not that man. Settling sexual harassment lawsuits doesn't admit guilt, but it sure as hell doesn't sweep things under the rug when you are put in the public spotlight, and running for President puts all your dirty laundry out in the spotlight, even if it is made up, like the Birther movement. Now we have Ginger White coming out discussing her "friendship" and news reporters texting Mr. Cain from her number, and him calling back within minutes to talk to his "friend". You can't do this. Now Herman Cain is fulfilling the stereotype of sex hungry black man who can't keep it in his pants, and being a magical negro to the Republican party, he simply couldn't be like the "others". You have to have a clean record as a person of color. You can't do what Newt did.

Finally his downfall has taught me slut shaming has not gone away in America. I find it odd that people who came forward with sexual harassment allegations made no real impact on his supporters or campaign. He simply called them untrue, and then made the allegation that because at least one accuser had financial issues and bad credit that they could not be trusted. Last time I checked sexual harassment had nothing to do with your credit score. I also find it odd that for some of these women they were able to settle financially from these allegations, meaning someone, somewhere thought these allegations held some kind of merit. I also find it incredibly odd that his "downfall" was caused by a consensual sexual relationship and not one where his power (physical and position wise) was used to force women into unwanted sexual relationships. America still seems to not really like women.

All in all, I'm simply surprised Herman Cain even appeared to have a shot at snagging the Republican nomination, but seriously they seem not to want Mitt Romney or John Huntsman, and the rest seem........special. So maybe they were just desperate.


I know this is shocking, but there are racists in Kentucky!!!!

So I read this article over at the Huffington Post. I had to rub my eyes to make sure I was looking at the right date. It indeed said 11/30/11. It said the year 2011, not 1911. Seriously. This is post racial America? This is Christianity? People often deny that racism is alive and well. Well folks, here it is. Interracial couples in the year 2011 are not allowed to be members of a church in Kentucky. They can't participate in certain worship activities. Their church is pure, and their God I guess has an issue with two people being married and going into their church to worship. Jesus take the wheel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't wait to get post post racial America, that's going to be awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!

Interracial Couple Banned From Kentucky Church
Interracial Couples

First Posted: 11/30/11 06:08 PM ET Updated: 11/30/11 06:20 PM ET

In a move to "promote greater unity" among its body and the Pike County community it serves, a small Kentucky church voted to ban interracial couples from membership and from participating in certain worship activities, Kentucky.com reports.

Though reminiscent of some Jim Crow-era mandate, the Gulnare Freewill Baptist Church actually made the decision earlier this month, following a visit from 24-year-old Stella Harville, daughter of the church's secretary and clerk, and her 29-year-old fiance, Ticha Chikuni, a native of Zimbabwe.

According to Harville's father, Dean Harville, Stella brought Chikuni to the church in June where they performed a song for the congregation.

Following the visit, pastor Melvin Thompson told Harville that his daughter and her fiance could not sing at the church again. Thompson later proposed that the church go on record saying that while all people were welcome to attend public worship services there, the church did not condone interracial marriage.

His proposal, which was accepted by a 9-6 vote last week, also suggested that married interracial couples be prohibited from becoming members and used in worship activities, except for funerals.

"It's not the spirit of the community in any way, shape or form," said Randy Johnson, president of the Pike County Ministerial Association, according to Kentucky.com.

While Pike County and the surrounding community come to grips with the church's decision, researchers at Ohio State University and Cornell University say black-white marriages in the United States are soaring, increasing threefold, from 3 percent in 1980 to 10.7 percent in 2008

Burberry Ad Campaign

Some interesting pics from the Burberry Ad Campaign. I noticed it in this month's W Magazine.

The female model is Jourdan Dunn the brown haired model is Matthew Whitehouse. The blond model is Thomas Penfound.


Now I'm Just Scared: The Strange Thing About The Johnsons

This movie is excellent, but disturbing!!!!!

Facebook Is Serious

Yes, I've had time to be on facebook, but no time to blog. I've been a bad Siditty, and I apologize. Over the last year I've been on facebook under my real name and interacting with real people I know in real life. This should be a great thing, right? NO. It isn't a great thing at all. Between my husband and I, we've lost a few real life friends and family. Maybe not lost them, but we no longer have the warm fuzzy feelings we once had. It's no secret, but I'm a liberal, atheist, interracially married and living in Texas. Most people in Texas aren't liberals, aren't atheists, and sure as hell aren't interracially married. This makes for interesting facebook interactions. I see posts about Obama trying to stop Christmas, that he is a Muslim who attended a Christian church by white man hating Reverend Wright. I see posts about it being cold so that global warming does not exist as a result. That Herman Cain is an awesome person who tells it like it is.

These types of posts are normal for people outside the internet world. Even the atheists I know in real life are libertarians who pretty much are republican and think Obama is a socialist out to destroy America. I know I should leave well enough alone, but no, I make comments, refute things by posting things from snopes, science journals, or other news sources. This is where it gets tricky and people start talking to you and about you like you're a red headed step child. This is when I go uber bitch and talk to them like their red headed step children. It just ends up ugly and causes animosity.

I guess I say all this to say, I should maybe you my blog as an outlet and maybe use their comments as inspiration as to why Obama did not kill Christmas, or discuss global warming. If I don't, we might alienate EVERYONE we know.


Our Sense of Entitlement

I keep hearing over and over again how the poor, the young, anyone who isn't rich and white have a sense of entitlement and want what others work for. I get what is being said to an extent. If you get a degree and go into a company expecting be middle management the first day, that isn't going to happen. I also understand why there is this entitlement.

I've been told since a little girl that if I work and study hard, the hard work will pay off in the end. However, corporate America told me a different story. Corporate America taught me that if you work hard and go above and beyond the effort there is no guarantee of employment at all, because your job can be done quicker and cheaper by someone in another country. The hope that I could work hard and move up in the company was diminished when I was told that there was a salary cap at my job grade, that I couldn't afford to be promoted because I was "too good" at my job.

It's expected that we now need a Master's Degree to get a job that was considered entry level, such as secretary (I've actually seen job ads with this requirement). I think that wanting that level of education for a job that pays $24,000/year is a bit over the top. Maybe I'm unreasonable?

The truth of the matter is though, in my parent's generation and previous generations, this might have been true. You could work one place for thirty years and see raises and maybe even promotions if you did indeed work hard and go above and beyond. That doesn't seem to be the case any more.

We don't ever question the entitlement of upper management hiring friends and family to make huge business decisions that affect employment of the "little people". We don't fire the friends and family when those decisions go bad, we fire the "little people".

So what should be the expectations of anyone in the job force? Should the expectation be that we must learn to work for ourselves and leave corporate America alone? I'm starting to think that is the case. Between the failure of trickle down economics and bailouts, I'm not quite sure why the hell anyone of us believed working for a company was a wise idea. Corporate America doesn't care. I'm not quite sure why anyone ever thought they did.

My expectations are low. Maybe it's because right now I'm a stay at home mom who is contemplating on finishing up my master's degree, but realizing that maybe it isn't worth it, if they only thing it's going to get me is a job that pays $24,000/year with no insurance and an expectation of working 80 hours a week and being on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

I'm not planning on going back to work for another three and a half years, but I'm trying to determine what my game plan will be with the "new economy" (which is a misnomer, our economy has been jacked for at least 30 years now). I'm fortunate to have the time to even make a game plan considering how things are going.


Wall Street journal Article on IR Marriage

An Interracial Fix for Black Marriage
Black women could find more partners across the race line—and it might just spur more black couples to wed

"At this point in my life," says Audrey, age 39, "I thought I'd be married with children." A native of southeast Washington, D.C., and the child of parents who are approaching their 50th wedding anniversary, Audrey seems like the proverbial "good catch"—smart, funny, well-educated, attractive.

Audrey earns a good living, too, with an income from management consulting that far surpasses what her parents ever made. Her social life is busy as well, filled with family, friends and church.

Only about one in 20 black women is interracially married; they are much less likely than black men to cross the race line.

What Audrey lacks is a husband. As she told me, sitting at a restaurant in the fashionable Dupont Circle neighborhood of the nation's capital, "I'm trying to get to a point where I accept that marriage may never happen for me."

Audrey belongs to the most unmarried group of people in the U.S.: black women. Nearly 70% of black women are unmarried, and the racial gap in marriage spans the socioeconomic spectrum, from the urban poor to well-off suburban professionals. Three in 10 college-educated black women haven't married by age 40; their white peers are less than half as likely to have remained unwed.

What explains this marriage gap? As a black man, my interest in the issue is more than academic. I've looked at all the studies—the history, the social science, the government data—and I've spent a year traveling the country interviewing scores of professional black women. In exchange for my promise to conceal their identities (in part by using pseudonyms, as I've done here), they shared with me their most personal experiences and desires in relation to marriage and family.

I came away convinced of two facts: Black women confront the worst relationship market of any group because of economic and cultural forces that are not of their own making; and they have needlessly worsened their situation by limiting themselves to black men. I also arrived at a startling conclusion: Black women can best promote black marriage by opening themselves to relationships with men of other races.
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Audrey and other black women confront a social scene in which desirable black men are scarce.

Part of the problem is incarceration. More than two million men are now imprisoned in the U.S., and roughly 40% of them are African-American. At any given time, more than 10% of black men in their 20s or 30s—prime marrying ages—are in jail or prison.

Educationally, black men also lag. There are roughly 1.4 million black women now in college, compared to just 900,000 black men. By graduation, black women outnumber men 2-to-1. Among graduate-school students, in 2008 there were 125,000 African-American women but only 58,000 African-American men. That same year, black women received more than three out of every five law or medical degrees awarded to African-Americans.

These problems translate into dimmer economic prospects for black men, and the less a man earns, the less likely he is to marry. That's how the relationship market operates. Marriage is a matter of love and commitment, but it is also an exchange. A black man without a job or the likelihood of landing one cannot offer a woman enough to make that exchange worthwhile.

But poor black men are not the only ones who don't marry. At every income level, black men are less likely to marry than are their white counterparts. And the marriage gap is wider among men who earn more than $100,000 a year than among men who earn, say, $50,000 or $60,000 a year.

The dynamics of the relationship market offer one explanation for this pattern. Because black men are in short supply, their options are better than those of black women. A desirable black man who ends a relationship with one woman will find many others waiting; that's not so for black women.

If many black women remain unmarried because they think they have too few options, some black men stay single because they think they have so many. The same numbers imbalance that makes life difficult for black women may be a source of power for black men. Why cash in, they reason, when it is so easy to continue to play?

Black women who do marry often end up with black men who are less accomplished than they are. They are more likely than any other group of women to earn more than their husbands. More than half of college-educated black wives are better educated than their husbands.

The prevalence of relationships between professional black women and blue-collar black men may help to explain another aspect of the racial gap in marriage: Even as divorce rates have declined for most groups during the past few decades, more than half of black marriages dissolve.

Cecelia, a corporate lawyer who graduated from Columbia Law School, married a construction worker. When he relocated from Denver to her brownstone in Harlem, it took him the better part of a year to find work. "It was a huge strain on the relationship," Cecelia told me. She didn't mind his being out of work, but he did. "He was uncomfortable living off me," Cecelia said. The marriage didn't last.

So why don't more black women, especially the most accomplished of them, marry men of other races? Why do they marry down so much and out so little?
[TOC6] Getty Images

Black women are the most unmarried group in America.

Black women lead by far the most segregated intimate lives of any minority group in the U.S. They are less than half as likely as black men to wed across racial lines. Only about 1 in 20 black women are interracially married.

Part of the reason, again, is the market. Numerous studies of Internet dating confirm that black women are the partners least desired by non-black men.

But that's not the whole story. Even if a majority of white men are uninterested in dating black women, that still leaves more than enough eligible white men for every single black woman in America. Moreover, many major urban areas have large numbers of Asian, Indian, Middle Eastern and Latino men, some of whom, according to at least one study of Internet dating, are more responsive to black women than are black men.

To understand the intimate segregation of black women, we must go beyond the question of whether black women are wanted and look instead at what they want. For some black women, the personal choice of an intimate partner is political. They want to help black men, not abandon them. As one woman told me, "If you know your history, how can you not support black men?"

Others prefer black men because they don't think a relationship with a non-black man would work. They worry about rejection by a would-be spouse's family or the awkwardness of having to explain oneself to a non-black partner.

As one 31-year-old schoolteacher in D.C. told me, "It's easy to date a black man because he knows about my hair. He knows I don't wash it every day. He knows I'm going to put the scarf on [to keep it in place at night]." Discussions about hair may seem trivial, but for many black women, just the thought of having the "hair talk" makes them tired. It's emblematic of so much else they'd have to teach.

Some black women resist interracial marriage for a more primal reason. Long before Cecelia began her ill-fated relationship with her now ex-husband, she dated a white law-school classmate. They broke up because she couldn't imagine having children with him. "I wanted chocolate babies," she explained to me.

Given her milk-chocolate complexion, green eyes and curly hair, Cecelia worried that a biracial baby might come out looking white. Cecelia wanted chocolate babies not just so they would stay connected to black culture, but for another reason as well: So that no one would ever question whether they were hers. With biracial children, she feared that she might be mistaken for the nanny. Many black women share her anxiety about having a biracial child.

What would happen if more black women opened themselves to the possibility of marrying non-black men?

To start, they might find themselves in better relationships. Some professional black women would no doubt discover that they are more compatible with a white, Asian or Latino coworker or college classmate than with the black guy they grew up with, who now works at the auto shop.

By opening themselves to relationships with men of other races, black women would also lessen the power disparity that depresses the African-American marriage rate. As more black women expanded their options, black women as a group would have more leverage with black men. Even black women who remained unwilling to love across the color line would benefit from other black women's willingness to do so.

It's hard to resist the paradoxical possibility that, if more black women married non-black men, then more black men and women might, in time, marry each other.

—Mr. Banks is the Jackson Eli Reynolds Professor of Law at Stanford Law School. Adapted from "Is Marriage for White People?: How the African American Marriage Decline Affects Everyone" by Ralph Richard Banks, to be published by Dutton on Sept. 1.


Dark Girls

This is a documentary that is coming out later this year, exploring colorism and racism. I'm kind of interested. I find it odd though, that some of those women identify as dark skinned, when to me they might fall into the medium complected category. Maybe they grew up like me, and had people who had never really been around dark people, tell them they were dark or they were the color they were because they were "dirty"?

I remember growing up and my mother calling me "black as smut" when I darkened from playing in the sun all day. I didn't grow up thinking that was a bad thing, but I guess if my appearance warranted comments, it must have been a concern or somewhat noteworthy to my mom. I also knew folks who used Ambi and other bleaching creams on their face to lighten up their complexion.

No matter what the reasoning for people using bleaching cream or my mother calling me "black as smut", I will say I think colorism is a big thing in the black community and that many times it is disregarded by the black community, much like racism is dismissed by many in the white community. How do we expose colorism without offending lighter skinned blacks? How do we address the issues of self hatred in the community, when it isn't even acknowledged?

I won't even address the natural hair and black men response to dark skinned women issues addressed. I've addressed that many times before.


Dishing Money Out To Black People

I'm amazed that there are people in this world under the impression that the government just hands out money to black people. In matter of fact I just talked to a man today who told me that the Democratic party won the black vote by "dishing out money to them". I want to know what money? Where the hell is my money? He was talking about welfare and other public assistance. I've never been on welfare or public assistance. I also want to note that welfare and public assistance isn't limited to black people. I've seen some white folks on it, as well as hispanic, and yes even Asians.

Why is it that welfare and public assistance is associated with black people? I kind of want to blame black people. Not all black people, but people like Jon Singleton, members of N.W.A., and the guys who did "Poetic Justice" and "Menace II Society". I know that this was supposedly to expose the gritty reality of gangsta life and living in "da hood", but not all black folks are living like this. I think Ice T's name is Tracy. Tracy!?!?!? How hard can you be with a name like Tracy. Ice Cube's name is O'Shea. O'Shea!!! How is that gangsta? That name sounds like someone who speaks in limericks and drinks a lot of Guinness, not gang bang.

Damn you Roc, Damn you. Y'all know you remember Roc.

But then I blame mainstream America for running with it. Never do we see American History X and assume all white people are skinheads who viciously assault black people. Or do we think that all white people are inbred people capable of man rape and wanting folks to squeal like pigs because of Deliverance.

How do we stop the foolishness. This to me is the reason we can't have an honest dialogue on race, because when people come up with this nonsense and run with it, we can't get past the stupidity to get to the meat of the argument.


You Miss Me?

Probably not :) However the last year or so has been really freaking busy. Children are no joke. I have a newfound respect for parents, especially stay at home moms. Just because you stay at home, it does not mean you are sitting on your ass watching TV all day. I do miss blogging, but I just don't seem to have the passion anymore and there was lots of opportunity to blog about stuff since I've been away. Donald Trump. Shirley Sherrod. The Tea Party in general. Lots of stuff.

I think I'm going to try to jump back in the waters. Albeit slow. I have found facebook is way to dangerous of a place to rant, especially since I do it with people I know in real life. I don't think people know how angry and black I am :)

OK my realizations since my last postings here:

  • Children make everything take twice as long. It takes twice as long to get dressed. Twice as long to eat. Twice as long to get in and out of a car.
  • Sometimes kids don't want to eat applesauce or bananas, but they do want to eat some stank old animal cracker found underneath the deep, dark, underbelly of a couch
  • Playdates are great for social interaction for the baby, but for the mom it makes no sense to be surrounded by other women and to befriend them simply because their kids are around the same age. Some moms are AWESOME. Others I want to give the stank eye to.
  • My boobs no longer belong to me.
  • Babywearing saved my life.
  • My life no longer is solely mine. There are days I want to drink a bottle of wine, but I don't because I have other stuff to worry about.
  • I'm even more of a evil godless liberal than I thought
  • I'm still angry and black, but I'm tired because people just seem to be stupid, and you can't fix stupid.
  • I still need to blog on occasion and I really need to get back into the swing of things outside of Rabbit Land. Blogging would be one thing that was part of my life before the baby.
So I guess I'm saying. I'm trying to make a comeback on this blog. Wish me luck.